


Settling in

by CheezPleez



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Bruce Banner Is a Good Bro, Bucky Barnes Has Issues, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky is a nerd, Clint Barton Is a Good Bro, Domestic Avengers, Hydra really was awful, Not Canon Compliant, Precious Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), Precious Peter Parker, Protective Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Slice of Life, Steve Rogers Needs a Hug, nerds of a feather stick together, not that we didnt know that, winterfrost at some point
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-07-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:13:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 43
Words: 77,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22335367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CheezPleez/pseuds/CheezPleez
Summary: While living in Wakanda is great They all agree Bucky needs to at least try and settle into a normal life. After much convincing from Steve and Pepper Tony agrees to let Bucky move into the tower. Each day brings new people and new things into his world.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Avengers Team, James "Bucky" Barnes & Loki, James "Bucky" Barnes & Peter Parker, James "Bucky" Barnes & Sam Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers
Comments: 46
Kudos: 84





	1. Staying with Sam

A week in Dc with Sam wasn't his choice and it was even less sams but until things were settled with Tony about the tower he had no choice. Steve dropped him off thanking Sam and even gave him a paper with some info about Bucky that might be helpful. "Ok mom I got this. He'll be fine. You go suck up to Stark. Get in here Barnes."

He showed Bucky his room. It was the first time he actually truly was able to take a good hard look at the man. He was thin, not in a good way. He had the same look of.tiredness Steve used to wear before he begged him to seek out counseling. his clothes were threadbare and he was certain it was the same clothes he was wearing when they grabbed him in Bucharest. "Well I'll let you get settled. Come down stairs we can figure out dinner."  
"Not hungry thanks." 

Oh great he thought. Things weren't as good as Steve claimed. He didn't argue just made it clear he would wait for him downstairs. He took a look at Steve's note and his was getting angry reading it. Steve was so scared of pushing him away that he pretty much allowed Bucky to maintain some rather unhealthy coping routines. He had a week to work on this. It would be a challenge but it wasn't impossible.

He waited an hour and finally went upstairs to retrieve Bucky. "Ok soldier. We are stuck together for a week and I ain't babysitting a bump on a log. So first things first, we gotta get you some new clothes. Can't believe Steve let you be seen in those rags. So we are gonna go to a thrift store since chances are you hate the mall, and at least get you a few things. After that we can get some food. What do you like to eat?" He froze at the question. "I ...don't know." He smiled "That's fine. Sometimes it takes time to get there. We can try different things during the week. You can keep a running list of what you do like. I won't make you do something you aren't comfortable with but you gotta step out a little bit." He patted his shoulder as they headed out the door. 

The thrift shop was more telling than he expected it to be. He had no idea what size clothes to buy which meant he had to try them on. After he found some pants and a few shirts he went near a dressing room. He couldn't bring himself to go inside. Too much of a small space. Sam went over. "Hey if they don't fit its ok. This is a thrift store. We can try them on at home. He took him over to another section of the store. "Lets see about some new shoes. Those things have seen better days." 

He was surprised to see that Bucky was wearing shoes two sizes too small. "Jeez man. We need to get you the right size shoes. Why are you even wearing shoes this small?" He shrugged. "Ok let's fix this. No wonder you are so grumpy." He glared at Sam but his face also seemed to be expressing gratitude despite wanting to kill him. They found some boots and some sneakers in case he wanted to go for a run with Steve and just in case they managed a pair of dress shoes because if he learned anything being around both Tony and Steve it was that formal occasions came without warning. He then moved him over to the media section mostly for fun. Music and movies are a good assessment when getting to know someone. 

"I know you have been out in the world for a while any music or movies ya like?" He stared at him. He remained silent so Sam started looking through records and cds. They stood looking through the boxes in silence for a while. "I like Patsy Cline and The Rolling Stones." He looked up surprised by his answer. "Well that sure is a variety there. Both are a little after your time aren't they?" He nodded. "Heard the Stones in a diner shortly after the helicarrier incident. Something about them just stuck." Sam nodded still looking at things. "What about Patsy Cline?" His body language sagged a bit and he blushed. "One of the scientists, KGB, would listen to her while she watched me. She would sing along as she checked on me. I could still hear a lot while in cryo even if I wasn't aware of how long it had been or where I was. She was kind to me. She didn't last long. She was shot for sneaking food to the girls in the Redroom. They shot her down while she worked."

Sam took a breath. "Wow. That's some heavy stuff. So memories aside I get from this that you like classic rock and you like old country. I think you are gonna be ok at the tower. I know for a fact Clint loves old country music. Stark likes rock and roll but I'm not sure you are much of an AC/DC guy. Still couldn't hurt to build that bridge through music." He picked out a few things and they headed for the car. He was surprised they had spent three hours there. He was taking notes of things he saw. They would be helpful when he began to see an actual therapist.

"So do you want to go to a restaurant and eat or go home and eat?" Bucky sat a moment weighing his options. "Home. I dont have spoons for that today." Sam looked at him. "You know the spoon theory?" He gave a short nod. "Princess taught me. I don't have spoons for a lot of things." Sam started the car. "That's ok. It helps me know where we are. Do you have enough spoons to try some new food? There's a great Japanese place with the best sushi. I can pick some stuff up from there and we can take it home." He gave him a sideways glance. "Isn't that raw fish?" He laughed, "common misconception. Most of it is pickled or cooked. Sashimi is raw but I won't make you eat it if you don't want to. That said if you end up liking it maybe I can get Mr. Perfect to try it and stop being a baby about it." 

Bucky grinned. "Well all you had to say was Steve wouldn't do it. Hell lets try it." Sam slapped him on the back. "That's the spirit. Let's go all out for this one. A little bit of everything and some Sake to top it off." They stopped at the restaurant and Sam came out with two large bags and a box. He put everything in the back seat and they made their way home. He set everything out and explained what each one was. He showed him how to use chopsticks which he picked up pretty easily. Steve called when they were half way through dinner. 

"Hey how goes things with Stark? I got you on speaker we were workin’ on dinner. Your boy can put away some sushi." He could hear Steve go silent on the other end. "He actually tried something new?" Sam laughed. "Yea we had a good day. Went to the thrift shop got some new clothes."  
"You know you don't have to feel pressured to do things Buck." He just finished another mouthful. "Not doing anything I don't want. Sam's not some overbearing mother hen. Besides i'm pretty sure if he tried to force me I could end him in three moves or I could just ask him to go jogging." Steve busted out laughing while Sam crossed his arms.

"So it's like that now? You come into my house and insult me after i bought you sushi and new clothes?" Bucky could see he was playing with him. "What can I say i'm not a cheap date Wilson." Even Sam laughed this time. "Fair point. So what did Stark say?" Steve sighed a little. "He and Pepper are working on it. Fury wants him to see a therapist once a week before he's cleared to be anywhere alone. Stark agrees. They are gonna draw up some paperwork to go over with Fury and me. We gotta interview a therapist although Pepper doesnt want someone from S.H.I.E.L.D which i agree with. We are trying to find the person Clint saw but getting through to him when he's at home is hard. It looks promising but complicated. Pepper really helped wear Tony down. I will let you guys get back to dinner. Call if you need me." They said their goodbyes and finished dinner. 

Sam was a little surprised that Bucky ate as much as he did. "When was the last time you had a good meal. Be honest with me?" He was quiet for a while as they sat on the couch. "Not sure. Foods complicated. I'm not comfortable with foods that people think I should remember. Too much pressure but I'm also still learning what I like. I eat enough but the whole process is stressful if that makes sense." Sam was making notes. "So I should stick with newer foods?" He nodded. "Yea that seems like a good plan."  
"You do realize your calorie requirements are probably pretty high because of the whole super soldier thing right?" He was quiet again. "I know. It's still hard to eat that much. Hydra would force feed me until I was practically sick." 

Sam never considered that. "Shit man. You need to communicate this stuff. We can work on that. A nutritionist would be able to help you manage your diet so it doesn't seem forced." He didn't respond to this. He seemed to be taking it all in. They ended up watching a movie before Sam called it a night. 

A while later he was awakened to the sound of Bucky getting violently ill in the bathroom. He found him hanging over the bowl looking miserable. "Sushi not agreeing with you?" He looked up, his hair hanging in his face. "Nightmare triggered it I think." He shuddered and began to heave again. Sam winced seeing him in pain. He stayed with him for the next hour until it stopped then Bucky cleaned himself up and got back to bed. 

Sam was surprised he was still asleep at 11 the next morning. He figured he was exhausted from being sick. He quietly knocked on the door. There was a bit of grumbling before the door opened. "Doin ok?" He shrugged. "Haven't slept that long in a while." He remembered Steve's note mentioning that two hours of sleep was standard for him. "Well I got some toast for ya downstairs if you want it. Figured we should take it easy on the stomach today. Take your time, I'll be there when you are ready." 

He sat down on the bed. Sam was doing so much for him. He was surprised at how patient he was. He knew he was a mess but it didn't seem to bother Sam. He went over to the bag of clothes and pulled out pants and a shirt. The pants were a little snug but not too much. The shirt was a little big but soft and comfortable. He pulled his hair back into a bun and went downstairs. Sam seemed surprised. "Looks good. Pants seem a bit snug but hey if you're good im good. Didn't expect to see you rockin the man bun. Who even taught you that?" He sat down at the table. "Princess taught me. I wasn't comfortable getting a haircut but it was in the way otherwise." He passed him the plate of toast. “Well as long as it’s what you want. Here eat something. How do you feel about going to the zoo today? It’s too nice to stay inside.” He smiled. “I guess that sounds good.”

They finished eating and made their way to the zoo. It wasn’t too crowded but there were still plenty of people. They arrived at the front gate just as an animal encounter was beginning with an orangutan. The zoo keeper was walking her around and explaining that she is too used to people to be placed back in the wild. When they got close to Sam and Bucky the Orangutan was suddenly pulling him down by his metal arm. The keeper was quick to step in. “Its ok she just wants to see you. Every so often she gets really curious about a person.” He was now sitting on the ground face to face with her. “Her name is sweetie. Just sit still and let her get a look at you. She will move on when she’s done.” 

Sam had his phone out getting a picture for Steve. He sent it to him and looked back up to see that Sweetie had him wrapped in a hug and was rocking him back and forth as she patted his head. The keeper seemed surprised by this. “Well sweetie I think we need to let this gentleman off the ground.” She nodded and allowed him to stand giving him one last hug before she walked off with the zookeeper. “You good?” He moved over to a bench and sat down. “I haven’t been held like that since my mother. It’s just...weird. I don’t know how to feel right now.” Steve texted back about the picture. “You took him to the Zoo?” He texted back to give Bucky a moment to collect himself. “Yea too nice to stay in the house. You and I need to have some words when I see you next. It’s barely been 24 hrs and I have a lot of information for you guys to work with.” He looked back up to see a little kid investigating Bucky’s arm from the bench next to him. He carefully nudged him. “Ya got a friend.” 

He looked over at the kid. “Hi” The boy looked at him and then at his arm. “What happened to your arm?” He could see Bucky stiffen as he thought of a child friendly answer. “I um…lost it in an accident.” The child was still looking at him. “Oh ok. Why is it metal?” He took a deep breath. “Not sure that’s what they gave me.”  
“Does it hurt?” he shook his head. “Not anymore it doesn’t” The child’s mother now realized he was “bothering” someone and pulled them away quickly. Bucky stood up. “What else are we seeing today?” 

They wandered the zoo for a while looking at the Pandas and the elephants. When they made it to the petting zoo he saw a small smile on Bucky’s face. Sam bought two bags of feed and they walked in. Steve mentioned he was taking care of goats in Wakanda. He just didn’t realize how fond he was of them. He calmly sat on the ground letting them pretty much walk all over him. Sam ended up spending some time sitting outside the petting zoo watching him. One of the keepers came over and sat next to him.

“You seem pretty good with goats.” He smiled as a little one nibbled at his hair that was falling out of the bun. “I used to help raise them till I moved here. They are nice except when they decide to climb up a tree.” She giggled. “I know how that is. We had a tree here for a week or so but we had a few find their way into it but they couldn't find their way down. Every morning we would come in to at least one of the little shits stuck there screaming for help for god knows how long.” They sat and talked about the goats for a while and Bucky finally got up and went over to Sam. He could see him grinning as he met him at the bench. “What’s so funny?”

“You really didn’t see how hard she was flirting with you? Steve said you were the ladies man.” He looked back to where the keeper had been but she was gone off to do other things. “I...she...I screwed that up didn’t I.” He patted the bench. “No you did fine. That was still a nice interaction with a stranger. You have handled them pretty well today. Still I think that Orangutan wanted to full on adopt you.” He chuckled. “Animals see right through ya sometimes. They don’t judge they just go with their gut. I can figure them out a lot better than people.” Sam realized it was getting kinda late. “Hey you ready to get something to eat?” He nodded. “I think maybe I can eat in an actual restaurant today.” They walked back to the parking lot. “Sounds good.” 

The next few days were a careful routine of learning what foods he actually ate and things to keep him busy. The nice spring weather made outside activities possible. They went to the cherry blossom festival the day before Steve came back to hopefully get him. In that time he learned that Barnes had nightmares pretty much every night most ended with him getting sick. No wonder he wasn’t gaining weight even if he ate enough it was gone. He also learned that he wasn’t very good at swimming because of the weight of the arm and the parts holding it inside of him. He had noticed his body made adjustments to walk but he had a feeling that there was a lot of pain involved with him moving. When Steve arrived he had six pages of notes for him. 

“So Tony said he can come to the tower but he will be seeing a therapist once a week. She will start seeing him on monday.” Sam sat down at the table while Bucky packed his things up. “I got a lot here to show you. He needs a nutritionist. He’s pretty afraid of food. Hydra used to force feed him. He gets physically sick from his nightmares and he is horribly claustrophobic. You need to communicate better with him. He can’t just do nothing. Take small steps. We went to get new clothes but went to a thrift shop rather than a mall. We chose open outdoor activities. I even got him to go to the Matsuri festival yesterday. He’s been wearing shoes two sizes too small because that's what he was given. I know those are the boots he had from hydra but still ya should have checked in on that. This stuff is not to make you feel bad.” Steve scanned the notes. “Can I give them to the therapist?” He nodded “That’s why I did them. You gotta bring him out of his shell without handling him with kid gloves.” 

Bucky came down the stairs with his duffle ready to go. He put his hand out for a shake. “Thanks Sam. It’s been fun.” Sam returned the shake. “You remember what we talked about this week. I gave Steve some notes for the therapist nothing we didn't bring up already but feel free to look. I’ll be up sometime soon to visit.” Once settled in the car Steve turned to him. “You ready to go home?” It was a word he was still so unfamiliar with. Home… it sounded nice.


	2. dangerous?

When they arrived at the tower Pepper and Tony walked him to his room. It was on the same floor as Steve. They showed him where the common areas were and the gym as well as the med bay and a few other places. It was still clear that there was tension with Tony. Pepper tried her best but there was only so much she could do. They agreed to have dinner with everyone since it was his first night in the tower. Dinner could have gone a bit better. Everyone seemed too nervous around him. Their questions were careful and almost patronizing. Morgan was quiet around him. She seemed afraid of his arm. That had to be it. She was afraid of him. 

Things broke up and he headed back to his room. He couldn’t fall asleep despite how tired he was. Everything felt wrong. The bed, the walls, all of it. He went out to the common room and got a cup of coffee. He’s not sure when he fell asleep but he woke up to Morgan on his lap examining his arm. He was about to move when he saw the plate at his wrist completely removed. He stared at her unsure if he should panic. She smiled. “I wanted to fix the squeaking.” She whispered. “You should have asked me” he whispered back. She shrugged. “You would have said no. I thought you would have stayed asleep longer.” She got the plate back in place gently attaching it. “What powers it?” She was absolutely Starks. “The battery is powered by kinetic energy.” She looked at him and moved his arm up and down a little. 

The lights suddenly flicked on and Tony was standing in the doorway. “What are you doing Morgan?” He saw the tools on the floor. “Were you seriously letting her play with your arm? Are you insane? What if she had activated something and got hurt?” He was trying to stop Tony in order to get a word in edgewise. “I fell asleep on the couch and woke up to her doing it. All she did was fix a single gear that's it.” She held the piece up. It was a rusted out gear. “I fixed the squeaking daddy.” He plucked her up. “His arm is not a toy it is dangerous you can’t just go taking it apart.” He quickly took her back to her room leaving Bucky alone. He was right. No matter what he did, part of him would always be dangerous. 

At breakfast Steve made plans for them to spar together before his appointment with the therapist. He was pulling punches as they fought and Steve knew it. He finally escalated things and socked him in the jaw. Bucky reeled back from him "what in the flying fuck was that for?" He roared as he hurled his fist toward Steve 

"You're the one pullin' punches ya jerk. Talk to me what's going on?" He sat down on the mat with his head in his hands. "I shouldn't be here." Steve sat next to him. "You are exactly where you need to be and where i want you to be." He shook his head. "I'm dangerous and there's a kid in the building and if I hurt her I won't be able to forgive myself." Steve was so confused. "Why would you harm Morgan?" He looked up at him and quickly glanced at his arm. "I'm always going to be dangerous" he quietly whispered. He couldn't bear to tell Steve what happened knowing that Steve would tear the world apart for him. He got up and went to his room leaving Steve confused and worried. 

When it came time for his therapy appointment he was surprised when she came to him. Steve entered the room with her. "Buck this is Dr. Fitz. She's your therapist. I'm gonna leave you two. I'm across the hall if you need me just ask Friday to send me over." He left them standing in the apartment alone. "Friday please enact privacy mode while I’m here with James."   
"Sure thing Dr. Fitz there will be no recording per dr. Patient confidentiality." She nodded. "Let's get started. Sam provided me some excellent notes to start and Steve has also provided information. We'll start simple how are you doing right now?" He took a seat at the table. 

"I'm not sure I should be here. Stark doesn't want me here. He wants Steve here so he tolerates me but given half a chance he would put me out on the streets." She was listening to him as she went through her notes. "Sam mentioned you struggle with your worth. I think you have shown great progress in the last few weeks. If you were a danger to anyone Im certain Pepper would not have helped Steve fight so hard for you. Tony will be uneasy for a while. He's a hard one to crack but give him space he'll turn around. Now what were you doing before I got here today?”  
He went through his routine with her. She stopped him after he got to the gym.

“Nowhere in that routine did you shower. Part of self care is hygiene.” He looked back towards the bathroom and sighed his cheeks turning red. “I don’t know how to operate the shower. I’m used to knobs not buttons. The settings I know are hot and cold. Here you come look at this bullshit thing Stark calls a bathtub.” He led her to the bathroom. On the wall was a panel full of buttons and settings. Even for her it was quite overwhelming. “Did you ask for help?” He sat down on the side. “I didn’t have the spoons and I felt stupid for having to ask how to take a shower in the technology indiced hell hole.” 

It was becoming clear how overwhelming this adjustment was. He bounced from hydra to living on the run to wakanda and then here. She was aware he was living on a farm in Wakanda so he was used to simple accommodations. “Everythings moving a bit fast here isn’t it?” He let out a groan. “You have no idea. I spent 70 years having every decision made for me then I got to make my own and that went horribly wrong and then the thing with Steve and Stark and siberia… I just don't want to disappoint anyone.” She was still taking notes even there in the bathroom. “Well let's see if we can figure out this thing together. Mind if I try something?” 

He stood up gesturing to the room. “Be my guest.” She looked at the panel. “Friday, how do you operate this thing?” Friday was launched into a long explanation of functions and features. “Ok Friday hold it. Is there anywhere in this building that has a normal bathtub?” Friday scanned the building. “Both Clint and Natasha have standard showers in their unit’s” She made a note. “Ok my session is just about done. What I would like for you to do is go to either Natasha or Clint and ask them if you may use their shower. Explain the problem with the technological monster here. I want you to keep a log of all nightmares you have and any other things that cause anxiety. I also want you to keep note of good things. If you make a new friend or have a good conversation even if it's something small that makes you smile. We are going to get you adjusted. I will see you next monday.” She gave him the list of “homework” and left. 

He saw Clint head for the shooting range. He grabbed a rifle from the shelf and followed. “You mind?” Clint looked over. “Nah. Surprised, Stark showed you where the shooting range was.” He set up next to him. “He didn’t. He barely let me bring my gun here.” Clint stopped a moment but continued to fire at the target. “Ah gotcha. Well I don’t like Starks rules either. He’s a bit of a nanny goat when he wants to be.” He laughed as he loaded his gun. “He and Steve were meant for each other.”As he focused on his targets he was caught off guard by one of Clint’s arrows hitting his target. “You missed.” Clint smirked at him “Oh no I NEVER miss.” So he was challenging him. 

“You sure you want to do that? I got well over 70 years of sniper experience on you.” Clint pulled a leaver on the wall and the targets were reset this time they were moving.” I think I have a pretty good shot old man.” Something about Clint felt comfortable. They fired at the targets until they both emptied their amo. He beat Clint by one target. It wasn’t that Clint had even missed he was just able to shoot his arrow out of the way and still hit the mark. “Damn” clint whistled as he looked at Bucky’s shots. “You are even better than Nat said. How about you come up for a drink?” He finished cleaning the rifle and smirked. “I’m not that easy of a date.” 

Clint laughed. “Well either way I’m gonna have a beer so you in or not?” He placed the gun back in the case and followed him to the elevator. “So how many kids?” Clint looked at him. “Three how did you know?” He laughed “Steve mentioned you had a family but didn’t go past that. Figure you had to have kids in there somewhere.” They stepped out on his floor. The apartment was nice and simple, small. “Nice to see not everything in this building is loud.” Clint laughed. “It was a fuss to get it this way. I live in a farmhouse when I’m not here. I don’t need to feel like I’m on the enterprise when I’m living somewhere.” They sat and talked a bit about Stark’s horrible floor plans. “Can I ask you something weird?” He chuckled. “Ask away I don’t think anything you could ask is weird.”

“It’s just ...Can I use your shower? I don’t know how to operate the one in my apartment.” Clint smiled. “That’s it? Yea sure. I bet he gave you one of the super fancy ones like Steve and the others have huh?” He nodded “Yea. It’s a bit overwhelming.” He nodded. “Yea Stark can’t understand anyone not wanting to live the life he does. He means well but I like a shower and a tub with knobs.” He leaned back and hummed. “This is a lot like Sam’s place. Simple and comfortable. No pressure.”

“Sounds like No one considered what you needed before setting you up here. If you need to get away from it all, you are free to hang here anytime even if I’m not around.” The door opened behind them and Nat came in “Oh you busy?” He shrugged, “I always have time for you. Barnes and I were just commenting on Starks' technological horror of a bathtub.” She rolled her eyes and sat down. “Oh god you have one of those things? Who thought that was a good idea?” He shrugged. “No clue but I hate it. Stark already has issues with me so I would rather not bring it up.” She kicked her shoes off and placed her feet across his lap while she leaned against Clint. “The man needs to learn how to tone it down a few notches.” Bucky laughed. “He’s a stark he can’t.” 

Bucky wasn’t sure why but before he stopped himself his hand was on Nat’s foot. He quickly pulled it away and blushed. “You remember that?” He looked at her confused. “The red room. I sprained my foot on a job. You used to do that when we would sit together after training.” Clint looked over “Dude she let you touch her feet? She doesn’t even let me touch her feet and I was there when she broke her foot.” He closed his eyes and tried to remember. “Sorry Natasha. I can’t really remember it except clearly some of me does. Was I good to you? I remember bits and pieces.” She smiled. “You were a great teacher. You never handled discipline if that's what you are asking.” He shuddered at the thought. They were all children in the Red Room. He looked over at Clint. “Mind if I use that shower now? I really should have taken care of that sooner.” He nodded.

Once he was in the other room Nat turned on the couch to face Clint. “He’s gonna need our help. Stark’s gonna eat him alive if he sees how unsure he is of his tech.” Clint crossed his arms. “He’s such an ass sometimes.”  
“I believe he prefers the term futurist” Friday piped in. “Friday are you being snarky with us?” The AI was silent for a moment. “Yes. Tony can be quite irritating, even I grow tired of him at times.”


	3. Hi, I'm Peter.

With the weekend's arrival Tony went away with Pepper and Morgan. The tower was quiet and seemingly deserted until Bucky found a kid making a sandwich in the kitchen. “Oh Hey Mr. Barnes!” He jumped a bit at the teenagers sudden enthusiasm. “Have we met before?” He nodded as he shoved more than half the sandwich into his mouth. “The airport fight” He looked him up and down. “Chew your food then talk.” There wasn’t a kid at the airport fight was there? Unless.. “You were the spider kid right?” He nodded and attempted to speak with another mouthful of food. “CHEW” he snapped startling them both. “Sorry I didn’t mean to snap.” The boy finished his sandwich. “It’s ok sometimes I forget I need to eat a lot more than most people and then when I finally get a chance to eat i'm so hungry I can't really control myself and then when I get excited I like to talk and sometimes it's kinda hard to pick one or the other and I need to be stopped. Hi I’m Peter.”

He nodded. "Hi Peter." He began fixing a cup of coffee intending to take it back to his room and finish the book he was reading. "So what are you doing today? I know the Captain is out at a fundraiser tonight and Mr. Stark is out and Dr. Banner is busy so it's just you and me." He looked over at him. "What do you normally do when you are here?" He pondered it a moment then began making another sandwich. "Well, I work in the lab with Mr. Stark and Dr. Banner or I train with Captain Rogers. What do you do?" It was clear he wasn't getting back to his book. "Not much. Only been here a week."

He rocked on his feet for a few moments. "Do you like sushi?" He had just finished the second sandwich. "Um...yeah but you just ate two sandwiches." He shrugged, " I have a super fast metabolism. I eat a lot. So sushi? I know a place that's all you can eat. Really good prices, not too crowded." 

Bucky looked nervously at the door. "I'm not supposed to leave the building without Steve" he said quietly. Peter tilted his head and looked him up and down. "Why? You aren't on house arrest. You know what it's fine, they deliver. Hey Friday can you order from that sushi place? Double what you normally get." He smiled. "Did you meet dum-e and butterfingers yet?" He shook his head. "No I'm still learning my way around." 

Peter suddenly took hold of his left hand. "Well let's go see them while we wait for food. Friday will let us know when food’s here." They took the elevator down to the lab. "Kid i dont think Stark wants me here." Peter just waved his hand. "Mr. Starks not here." They were quickly greeted but two robots who almost reminded him of dogs. "Butterfingers, dum-e this is Mr. Barnes." They moved over to him Dum-e taking an immediate interest in his arm. "Aw they like you." Peter showed him around the lab and the things he was working on until Friday notified them the food had arrived. 

They grabbed the food from the lobby and made their way back up stairs. "So do you like any movies? They did have movies back then right?" He glared at Peter a moment. "Yes we had movies. I'm not sure I have any favorites. War movies are a trigger for me and older ones kinda frustrate me because I can't always remember what i should." Peter was setting out the sushi and grabbed some soda from the fridge. "Well good thing is I don't like war movies. Let's see about filling you in on pop culture. Friday play back to the future for us." He got situated on the couch and patted the seat next to him excitedly. 

They were half way through the second Back to the future when Peter sat up. "Friday stop the movie." He looked over at Bucky. His cheeks were slightly flushed. "Mr. Barnes? Are you allergic to fish?" Before he could answer Bucky bolted for the bathroom. "Friday if Dr. Banner is back can you send him up?" He followed into the bathroom and found Bucky wrapped around the bowl. He could see some redness around his throat. He was aware that his version of the serum wasn't perfect but he hadn't considered allergies. 

Bucky looked up at him. He looked green. He could see a little bit of redness near his lips. "How did you know?" Peter rummaged in the cabinet and found one of Nats spare hair ties and pulled his hair out of his face. "Spidey senses. It's like this feeling i get that warns me something's off." A few minutes later Bruce found them in the bathroom. 

"Friday said you needed me is everything ok?" Peter quietly shook his head and pointed to Bucky. He could see patches of rash and swelling on his throat and face. "Is he having an allergic reaction?" He sat down to get a better look. "Wow. Have you gotten sick like this before?" He shrugged. "Kinda.last time i just threw up and my throat was tight i thought my night terrors triggered it." Bruce hoisted him up off the floor. "Let's get you down to medical and get you something for this." 

He was surprised how well Buck cooperated with him. He started an IV to rehydrate him and gave him some antihistamines to stop the reaction. He took the time to go over him and look for other signs of a reaction. He saw his abdomen was slightly bruised. "What's this?" He gently felt the bruises. Bucky winced a little. "I tend to hit the toilet too hard when I throw up. It comes so quickly I can't get there quick enough.It's fine though" He frowned.

"You throw up like that all the time?" He looked embarrassed. "Yea. Like I said it happens after I have a nightmare." Bruce was taking notes. "That sounds like a neurological problem to me. We should get some scans and have Strange take a look. Peter keep an eye on him." He came back a few moments later and set things up to run tests. Bucky had fallen asleep,making it easier to get scans done. Now all he needed was to wait for Strange to arrive. 

He showed up an hour later. Bruces explained what Bucky told him. When they pulled up the scan they could see the problem straight out. "How is he even walking and talking?" Bruce looked dumbfounded. "They must have thought that would make him easier to control." Strange looked angry as he surveyed the scans. "Did No one check this before? This has got to be the most inhumane way of living. No wonder he has problems.Wheres Steve we need to talk to him now. Stark too." 

Bruce managed to catch Steve just as he walked in. "We need you in the med bay." He quickly rushed down with them. "So a few things. We found out despite the serum Bucky is allergic to fish. It might not be too bad for him in moderation but the amount he and Peter ate was more than he could handle but that's not the real issue. I'm gonna let Strange explain the rest." They managed to get Tony on video despite the late hour so that he could see what was happening.

"We did some scans of James' brain to figure out why he was getting sick every night. It's clear someone tried and failed at one point to remove pieces of his brain. Probably in an effort to manipulate him better. His brain is slowly putting itself back together but the brain activity going on during sleep seems to be overwhelming and triggers the vomiting. Bruce and I believe that we can use Stem cells to help the process. It will still take time but we think it is our safest option. We wanted you to be aware of the issue. If I can keep him sedated long enough we need to drill a small hole in his skull to inject the cells once in the serum will help with healing and he will be good to go. I'm not doing anything until he's awake and we talk." Tony looked pale as Pepper looked over his shoulder in shock. He gave a quick nod. "Ok good info doc. Do what you need to. I'll cover the costs. Later." After speaking with Bucky and making some calls Dr. Cho came in to assist them the next day. He had told them to get it over with as quickly as possible.

He was surprised he woke up in his bed rather than the med bay. Steve was sitting at the bedside reading. "wow you woke up faster than we thought. How are you feeling?" He took a moment to consider the question. "I guess ok. My head hurts a little but otherwise I'm good." He patted his arm. "Good. Dr. Cho wants you in bed for the next 24 hrs. You are on brain rest. You can listen to quiet music but no TV and no reading." He frowned. "Peachy." 

There was a knock on the door and Peter stepped in. "Hi mr barnes. I wanted to check on you. Sorry last night was a bust. We can finish back to the future next weekend if you want." He smiled. "Sure kid. We can do that but no sushi next time." Peter sat down on the bed and began to go through all the food they could eat instead. Steve took this chance to excuse himself and let Peter keep him company.


	4. The cabin

He knew he had forgotten things but he had forgotten how hot new york had gotten in the summer. With school out for the summer Peter was around a lot more often. His therapy appointments were going ok but there was still plenty of room for improvement. He had to admit he was going stir crazy in the tower. 

This particular week nearly everyone was away. Peter was on vacation with his aunt and Steve was doing a fundraiser for veterans. Clint was home with his family and He assumed Natasha was with him. This was going to be a long week with jist Tony Pepper and Morgan around. He planned on just ignoring them if he could. 

"Sarge Tony wants to speak with you in the lab he says its important." He wasn't completely expecting Friday to talk to him. He made is way down to the lab to find Tony waiting for him. "Barnes get in here take a seat." He pointed over at a beat up couch. "So it's gonna be miserably hot here this week and while everyones away it seemed kinda shitty to leave you here alone so you are coming with us to the lake. Be ready to leave in 20 minutes." 

He wasn't sure how to react. He couldn't tell him no. "Um..ok...guess I should go do that." He got up and headed up to his room. He grabbed a couple books and some clothes. He found Tony Pepper and Morgan waiting for him in the lobby. "You're coming too?" She squeaked as she latched on to his leg. "Yea your dad asked me to come." They climbed into the car. Tony taking the driver's seat. Bucky went for the back seat but Pepper stopped him. "Sit up front. I'm going to sit back there with Morgan to keep an eye on her. Last time we drove to the lake she had taken the consol apart and Tony spent hours putting it back together." 

He got in and pulled out his book. Steve had finally convinced him to start the Harry Potter books. He was on the third one. Tony was quiet for the first hour as Pepper and Morgan sang and played in the back. He finally cleared his throat. "See Rogers got ya to read the Potter books." He nodded. "Yea I watched the first movie with Steve and Sam a few weeks ago." He was quiet again. 

A little while later he spoke again. "Ravenclaw." Bucky gave him a confused look. "My house. Its Ravenclaw. You figure yours out yet? We all took the test together a few years ago but I think the website was wrong. Rogers got slytherin." He was familiar with the house system and the qualities of each one. "No that's not wrong. Everyone swears he's Gryffindor and he is to a point but I'm sure you have seen how damn well he can get himself out of a problem and get his way." Tony chuckled quietly. "Never saw it that way but ok I get it. So what about you? Where do you stand?" 

"I haven't really gotten there." They were quiet for the rest of the ride. After a few hours they pulled down a long gravel drive and arrived at a cabin by a lake. Bucky helped grab the other bags and followed Pepper into the house. Your room is right down the hall across from the master bedroom. If you need anything just like the tower you can ask Friday or ask me.

Morgan came bounding over. "Can we got swimming before dinner please please pleaaaase!" She picked her up and smiled. "As long as daddy goes with you yes." She placed her back down and she bolted toward Tony. "Do you want to go swimming with them James?" He looked at his arm. "I'm not exactly built for swimming." She didn't argue just accepted his answer. "Ok well make yourself at home." 

He grabbed another book from his bag and sat down on the couch to read it. A while later Tony and Morgan came in to change before dinner. Bucky noticed Pepper frantically bouncing between a few things in the kitchen and walked over taking the cutting board she was working with and finishing with the veggies she was cutting. "Thanks you didn't have to do that." He moved on to the next task helping her. "I was taught to help out. My mother didn't raise me to just wait for food like a caveman." She smiled "Steve is like that too." He smiled. "Well his mom and mine were close. His mom was very stern about men learning to do domestic things and she convinced my mom to go along with it so we learned to cook and fix our clothes so we didn't have to wait around helplessly for some dame to do it." Pepper gave him a bit of a side eye. "Dame?" 

He couldn't help but chuckle. "Peg Carter would have loved you. Saw a guy call her a dame and she knocked his teeth out. Hell of a woman." She seemed satisfied with the comparison and he meant it. They finished cooking and setting the table just as Tony came back out with Morgan in tow. "Looks fantastic Pep." She gave him a kiss on the cheek. "I can't take all the credit. James helped." He sat down and looked at Bucky. "Barnes you didn't have to." He couldn't help but glare. "Seems like I did. Pepper had her hands full and it wasn't right for me to just sit there." He put his hands up. "Fine fine. No need to be defensive." 

Dinner was mostly uneventful with Morgan occasionally asking Bucky about his arm. She was fascinated by it and wanted so bad to take it apart. Something Tony repeatedly shut down. "Sweetie I know it looks interesting but you can't take it apart and play with it we don't really know much about it." It was once again a reminder that Tony didn't fully trust him. 

Sleep didn't come easy that night. When it did it was ripped apart but nightmares and memories bleeding into each other. He was grateful he didn't get sick any more at night but the nightmares would never stop. He got up to get a drink and calm himself down. Just as he stepped out into the hall Morgan poked her head out of her room. "Why are you awake?" He whispered. She stepped out more. "I heard you have a bad dream like daddy has." She took his left hand and walked toward the kitchen. 

She sat him down on the couch and went to the kitchen coming back with two glasses of milk. "This normally helps daddy." He carefully took the glass. "Thanks." He was surprised that it was warm. "Has this been sitting out?" She settled on his lap. "No I asked Friday to help me warm it up." They enjoyed the milk in silence. Soon Morgan was sound asleep in his lap. He had no choice but to get comfortable on the couch in an effort not to disturb her.

Tony woke up near dawn. He normally slept better at the cabin. Maybe not through the night but more than he did at the tower. He was surprised when he found Bucky on the couch his left arm cradling Morgan both of them sound asleep. He took a blanked off the chair and carefully covered them up. He grabbed himself a cup of coffee and headed to the garage to finish a few projects before everyone was up.

A while later Pepper was woken up by Morgan peeping over the bed at her. "Morning pumpkin." She crawled into the bed. "Mr. Barnes has nightmares like daddy used to." She nodded. "Yes he does. Sometimes adults go through things that they think they can handle but the truth is when we sleep our brain tells us what's going on for real." She frowned. "He seems sad and scared. I showed him what helps daddy when he wakes up at night." She hugged her close. "That was very nice of you. Did he go back to bed?" She smiled "kinda he fell asleep on the couch. He's still there." 

She got up and went to check on him. He was just sitting up when she walked in. "Morning James. Did you sleep well?" He shrugged. "Guess so. Morgan has a pretty good handle on dealing with adults who can't sleep." Pepper brought him a cup of coffee. "She caught on to Tony very quickly. The first few times it upset her but we explained it to her and she even learned things to help. I'm surprised she felt comfortable to reach out to you." 

He waved his arm. "I think she has an ulterior motive there." Pepper laughed "she is her father's daughter. She drives them crazy at school she is forever taking things apart." Tony came in covered in some kind of grime for his garage. “Sleeping beauty is finally up.” He couldn't help but feel embarrassed that he fell asleep on the couch. “Hey, it’s ok that couch claims everybody at least once especially Thor. Rogers says you have mechanical experience think I can pick your brain about something?” He froze. “You want me to help you with something?” He rolled his eyes. “Yes that’s what I just said, isn't it?” Pepper gave Tony a look before getting up from the couch. “You can go play on that old car after we eat breakfast.”

A little while later he followed Tony out to the garage and saw he was working on a beat up old jeep. “Where did you get this thing?” He laughed. “Dad had it literally rotting away in storage. It doesn’t run. I have looked at the books with it but nothing adds up or makes sense. Pretty certain it’s a leftover war toy.” Bucky was immediately underneath with the book in hand, He slid back out from the car. “Hey genius wanna know why you cant get jack shit outta this car?” Tony looked at him. “There’s no way you figured out the problem in less than five minutes.” He stood up. “Wanna bet? You have a manual for a US army jeep...That hunk of junk is German. A Hydra prototype we snatched from one of the factories. Looks all the world like what the allies had probably because the frame was sourced from whatever scrap they had but the parts inside are 100% experimental. Either you get a fancy car that just sits there or you gut it and replace everything.” 

Tony was now frantically pulling parts out to try and prove Bucky wrong but really only succeeded in proving him even more right. “Well shit. This has been a waste of 6 or so years.” Bucky couldn’t hold back the laugh. “You pout like your dad.” He looked up at him and for a moment he seemed offended at the comparison. “Peg used to tell me the same thing.” He offered him a hand up off the ground. “Does this mean we are square?” He grabbed his hand. “I guess so. At least as much as we can be.” They spent the rest of the week replacing the parts in the jeep with ones that actually worked. The entire time Tony asked questions about his dad and Bucky answered what he could. It ended up being far from the disaster of a week it could have been and nearly every night Morgan was waiting for him when a nightmare had him up and out of bed and every morning Tony found him on the couch normally with Morgan curled at his left side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I firmly believe that Captain america IS a gryffindor BUT Steve Rogers is 100% a slytherin.


	5. Movie nights

He had been avoiding the first few movie nights. They were a bit crowded for his taste. He didn’t mind watching movies. It was just very difficult to deal with a room full of people. Dr. Fitz had urged him to make it to the next one to see how it went over all. He quietly slipped into the common room and sat down near Clint and Natasha. Even though Clint had a family of his own he came by once a month for movie night. Natasha nodded as he sat down and passed him a bowl of popcorn. “What are we watching?” She shrugged “Some kids movie Wanda picked out.” 

The movie in question was called “Rise of the Guardians” and things could have gone better for him watching it. The whole concept was rough to say the least. Clint was the one that noticed he was shaking halfway through the movie but he said nothing only scooted a little closer. Natasha followed suit. It helped a little until things were beginning to trigger echoes in his head. A little girl with pigtails following him and Steve down the sidewalk giggling through a gaped grin. He took a strained breath and stood up.

“Hey! Terminator where ya going? Movies not over yet.” He shouldn’t have stopped to listen to Tony. He felt his knees give and it all came crashing down. He was now a sad sobbing mess on the common room floor. Steve helped him off the floor while Tony instructed Friday to stop the movie. Wanda brought him a blanket which he immediately wrapped around himself. Sam pulled up a chair and sat in front of him. “What happened?” His voice was steady and yet full of concern. He tried to tell him but he couldn’t seem to get himself together. Wanda placed a hand on his back and patted. “I’m sorry James. I should have considered the movies plot and mentioned it.” Natasha returned with a cup of tea and sat on the floor near Sam. 

When it was clear he wasn’t able to tell them what was going on Steve pulled Sam aside. “I should have asked about the movie Sam. The whole story it’s just…. I think it reminded him of Becca. She and Buck were really close. She followed us everywhere. Think about it. a guy frozen comes out of it with no memories of his past.” Sam nodded. “Yea I watched this one with my nieces and nephews and I should have mentioned it but I didn’t know about Becca. Sadly the frozen in time plot is hard to avoid and he will have to face that but I see what your saying about this. I’ll make some notes of it for his therapist to review on Monday.” When they looked back over Bucky was gone. “Where did he go?” Natasha looked up at them, “He said he needed space. We kinda crowded him a bit.” 

Wanda found him sitting on the roof still wrapped in her blanket. “James? May I join you?” He didn’t answer one way or another so she took a chance and sat next to him. She could see the memories flashing through his mind as plain as day and her heart broke. “You were very close?” he looked at her. “How did you know?” she took his hand. “I can see into people's minds, some better than others. I have done my best not to intrude upon your mind because I was worried I might see something I shouldn’t but right now I can’t avoid it. Steve is projecting a lot of the same memories. It’s all I can sense right now.” 

“I can’t make sense of all of them. They just kind of hit me. It’s hard to ask Steve because it hurts him but at least he has all the pieces.” She smiled. “Well I have all the pieces too. I can help if you like.” She patted her lap. “Lay your head down and relax. I will go through each and every one with you if you like. Stop me if you need me to.” He hesitated but finally laid his had on her lap allowing her to run her fingers along his forehead and temples. It felt soothing and comfortable. She began to quietly describe the scenes to him. Trips to Coney Island and the beach, school dances, movies and pic nics. He was soon sound asleep. She quietly sent a text to Steve who came and took him to his room. 

When he woke up the next morning, he felt a little better about the previous night. He quietly made his way down to Clint’s apartment in hopes he could use the shower. He still hadn’t worked up the nerve to tell Tony he didn’t like his. This was easier for now. Wanda was in the elevator when he got inside. “Morning. Did you sleep well?” He smiled at her. He knew what she had been through and yet she was so warm and cheerful. “Yeah I did ok. Thanks for last night. Sorry I ruined movie night. She shook her head. “No you didn’t ruin anything. We have all made movie night mistakes. You can ask Steve we have all been there.” She gave him a peck on the cheek and got out. “Have a nice day James.” When he got to Clint's floor He was still a bit flushed from the unexpected gesture. “How can she be like that after being Hydra’s lab rat?” he thought to himself. 

Clint wasn’t in so he was able to shower and compose himself before joining everyone at breakfast. When he did there was no mention of what happened. Life went on as if the event never occurred at all. He knew he would have to deal with it on Monday at his therapy session but for now he considered it forgotten. He was grateful for it too. He didn't need that kind of baggage.


	6. halloween

Halloween was fast approaching. He was clued off by the appearance of pumpkins and skeletons and spiders through the building and a bowl of candy in the kitchen. He noticed clint digging through it placing some of it into another bowl. “What are you doing?” He looked over “I’m saving us from loser candy.” He surveyed the other bowl and pulled a roll of necco wafers. “These are good.” He looked over at him. “That’s like eating flavored chalk. There’s way better candy than that.” He surveyed the bowl more. “How come all the good candy is in your loser candy bowl?” Steve walked in at that moment and made a beeline for the candy bowl. 

“Steve help me out is that loser candy?” Clint pointed over to the bowl Bucky was digging through. He laughed. “Compared to this stuff yeah it is.” Bucky looked offended. “Oh I see we spend a few years in the future and we can’t appreciate the old stuff any more?” His smile softened. “It was good considering what we had back then but you and I both know I have always been more fond of chocolate than hard or chewy candy. By all means enjoy your bowl of nostalgia. Most of it still tastes the same.” Tony came in and looked into the bowl. “Ooh Mary Janes.” He plucked a few out and started to unwrap them popping them into his mouth. ‘Finally someone with taste.” He looked over at Bucky. “I see someone else enjoys the so-called loser candy. I got it for Cap but apparently he’s too good for it.” 

A small packet quickly caught his attention and he reached past Clint to grab it. “Oh my god they still make Lik-M-Aid?” Clint stared at him. “That’s fun dip man.” He shook his head. “Not in my day. Course we didn’t have the stick back then and it was only cherry and orange flavor. What the hell is razzapple?” Clint tore the packet open “Try it. It’s good.” After a quick crash course in how to eat fun dip Steve was laughing at Bucky who after three packets now had blue on his lips tongue and gums. 

Peter came bounding into the room. “Mr. Stark Mr. Stark you promised we would go to the halloween store today. Are you ready to go?” Bucky looked at him. “They have whole stores for halloween?” He bounced up and down “Yup and we are gonna go pick out some decorations for the tower for halloween wanna come?” He looked over at Steve. “I was gonna check that place out anyway wanna go Buck?” He shrugged “sure.”

An hour later they were standing in front of a building with a giant skull on the roof and the only entrance was a dark tunnel. “Why do we have to enter this place in the dark?” They were all walking in as if it was a non issue and it probably was for them. “It’s part of the fun Mr. Freeze, don’t be such a baby about it.” It was not fun. Too many noises and things moving at him. Steve had to talk him down from a full on panic attack once they got into the building. “Ok note to self do not take the semi stable old man through a haunted house.” Tony patted his back. “Well good thing is you don’t have to go through that again.” He looked around at things with Steve. “When did clowns become so…..disturbing.” 

Steve stopped and looked at him. “You don’t remember that?” He looked at him “remember what?” Steve chuckled softly. “You have never been a fan of clowns. Not so much afraid of them but you wanted nothing to do with them when we were kids. There are quite a few scary movies about clowns now and there was a serial killer who used his clown disguise to find his victims. Kinda makes sense when you see them here.” He shuddered. “Yeah nope they can stay here. What ever happened to werewolves and vampires?” He smiled “They are still around. We can check out some scary movies when we get home if you like? They are fun.” He shook his head. “Pass. you have always been a sucker for a good monster movie. I don’t need to fill my head up with any more monsters than the one I already keep in there.” Tony walked by and scoffed “You would fit in perfectly with the goth kids with that logic.”

This elicited a laugh from both Steve and Peter but left him confused. “What now?” Peter looked at him. “He kinda dresses like one already I mean the black boots, the black jeans, the black well… everything.” Steve was even in on the apparent joke. “Don’t forget his eye make up from his winter soldier days.” He was not standing with his arms crossed. “Someone mind filling me in here?” they all stopped laughing. Peter quickly pulled a photo up on his phone.”Here ya go. Casual modern day goth.” Peter had found a picture that even looked similar to Bucky’s current outfit. “Give me one good reason I shouldn’t sock all three of you.” Steve smiled. “Ease up Buck. We didn’t mean anything by it.” 

They ended up with a few skeletons for the tower and fake spiderwebs since Tony forbade Peter from using his own to decorate. Peter spent the ride home talking about trick or treating and costumes. "Kid aren't you a bit old for that?" He grinned at Tony. "I might be alone but Morgan isn't too old. " Tony frowned,"you wanna use my kid to go trick or treating?" He nodded. "Absolutely not" 

"Why? Mr. Stark it will be fine. Happy said he would go." Tony was looking for an out. "Barnes, when did you two stop trick or treating?" They were quiet. "1942" they muttered. He looked at them. "You were still trick or treating at nearly 30?" Bucky grinned. "I had little sisters and Steve was little enough to pass for a kid so yea." He threw up his hands. "Unbelievable. I am stuck with the world's oldest children." Peter grinned knowing he had won this round with an unlikely assist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Necco wafers are awesome FIGHT ME.


	7. dietitian

It had taken months for them to find a nutritionist that would more or less make house calls but they finally found one. Bucky had gotten better with food but it was still a struggle to get him to eat enough. Tony met the man in the lobby and brought him up to the room. Friday had alerted him that they were arriving so Tony left the man at the door and went on with his day. Bucky opened the door and immediately moved to close it but he was already inside. 

"Sergeant Barnes this is such an unexpected surprise. Take a seat. Please, we don't want this to be difficult. Now my file says you are struggling with your required calorie intake. We know all about fixing that don't we." Bucky was repeatedly asking Friday to listen in but it was clear something was jamming the connection. "How did you even make it this far?" He croaked. The man only laughed and pulled out a piece of paper. "It is a good thing we rescued this page from your book. Perhaps you need a reminder of what happens when you don't take care of yourself." 

Hummingbird  
Snowstorm  
School day

Bucky struggled to move towards the door his feet refusing to move as each word tumbled out.

Holiday  
Boat  
Canine

He sunk down to the floor. No one could help him. They had trusted this man. They had no reason to check on him. They weren't aware that a page was missing from the book. He stood over him. "I think we should take a walk. Get up, soldier." He had no choice but to move into the elevator. Steve wasn't there to stop him. Tony was in his lab and Friday acted like he didn't exist. 

They had just gotten to the lobby when Pepper and Happy had walked in. She looked at them. "Dr. Webber? Where are you two going?" He smiled. "I am taking James for a field trip. A little hands on learning." She took a step forward. "Well we should give Steve a call to make sure he is ok with that." The man shook his head."No need Mrs Stark I have already asked Captain Rogers and he was fine with the idea." Happy had been watching Bucky the whole time. 

"Barnes you good? You seem kinda quiet." He looked up with dead empty eyes. "Just peachy." The tone wasn't right. Happy looked at Pepper. "Friday lock down" Dr. Webber looked as all exits were blocked. Tony and Wanda were quickly in the Lobby. Pepper held her breath waiting for the order to be given for Bucky to attack but it never came. 

"What's the deal Pep?" He looked around and saw the issue. "Barnes? You home? Talk to me." He turned his head slightly. "Just peachy." He walked over to them. "Barnes let's take a walk Happy, wanda, take care of Dr. Webber here. Find out what's going on." He was startled at how easily Bucky followed him to the elevator. He took him back down to the lab and sat him on the chair. "What's the word Barnes? What's going on?" He looked up at him. "Just peachy" He had no clue how to break him out of this trance. He figured he would just wait it out. 

Happy called down a while later to tell him Pepper was coming in. He was barely off the call when she came in. "We accidentally hired an ex red room agent." Tony looked at her. "Webber? He passed every background test, how?" She shrugged. "I have no idea. We found two pages in his coat pocket presumably from the book. The good news he's in custody the bad news, He won't tell us what they do." Tony felt awful. They worked so hard to rebuild trust in doctors and then this happened. He pulled a bag of trail mix out Bucky suddenly walked over and took it and began to eat. 

"Well that's weird." Pepper walked over to Bucky. "James are you hungry?" He looked at her but said nothing. By the time Steve got back that evening Bucky was still the way they found him with Dr. Webber. He only seemed to respond to food which they gave him but they were not going to keep feeding him. Steve sat down next to him. "Buck? Come on snap out of it." He looked at him. "S..steve?" Tony let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding in. "What happened Buck?" His head dropped and his shoulders sagged. "Webber...worked for the Red Room. His job...they brought him in..because I wouldn’t...I couldn't eat. Hydra mismanaged dietary in the 10 years before I was passed on to the red room." 

Pepper laid a hand on his shoulder. "James I'm so sorry." He shook his head. "You couldn't possibly know. It's not like it was in the file. Pretty certain that creep gets his rock off force feeding people." He shuddered clearly recalling something he wasn't ready to talk about. "Did you get the pages from him?" Pepper nodded. "Good then burn them and don't ever call someone in to help me eat better." Tony took the pages and looked them over quickly memorizing the words before incinerating them in the sink. 

Over the next week Bucky avoided meals. They tried everything but he refused. Natasha finally convinced him to have some soup which she personally made for him. Knowing that Nat didn't cook for anyone was a pretty convincing factor. "I'm sorry I wasn't here. I should have looked over those files." He rested his head on her shoulder. "You don't need to be sorry. You trusted your team. No one knew how the red room got me to eat and I didn't tell anyone." She smiled and grabbed his bowl filling it back up. "I can't let you leave till it's gone." He put his feet up on the couch. "Then we are gonna be here a while." She sat at the end "As long as you need,I'm gonna be here."


	8. Vivian

Peter and Happy were patiently waiting for May. She was supposed to meet them after work to go out for dinner but called to say she was running late. Her car battery died and she was getting a ride from a coworker. Bucky heard the motorcycle pull up outside and thought it was Steve. He was surprised to see May hop off along with the rider and enter the building. 

A moment later the elevator opened and she stepped in along with a woman with blue hair and a nose piercing. "Hi Peter, Happy, sorry I'm late. This is Vivian, she gave me a ride I figured I would bring her in and say hi." Bucky hadn't realized he was staring until Happy mentioned it. "Barnes! You just gonna stare or are ya gonna have some manners?" He shook himself out of his thoughts and let out the breath he was holding in. "Hi." 

Vivian crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. "He's so articulate." He opened his mouth but nothing came out. May smiled. "This is James. He's sort of shy." Vivian held out her hand. "Hi James." He reached out to shake not realizing until it was too late it was the left one. She stopped when she felt it. "Nice hand." He panicked. "Nice hair." She smiled. "You can let go now." He quickly let go and stepped back. "Nice Bike." Peter was behind her smiling like an idiot. 

"Thanks. It was my dad’s. Just got it running a few weeks ago. Hell of a job but worth it." He could talk shop that he could handle. "Always better to do the job yourself." She gave a sly grin. "I think there's a few jobs that aren't as satisfying when done alone." She had him backed against the wall and he hadn't even realized it. May, Peter, and Happy had all disappeared. He took a deep breath but before he could get a grip on his panic he vomited on this poor woman and proceeded to have an anxiety attack. 

Vivian surprisingly sprung into action. She sat him down and talked him through it until he was breathing steadily. "I'm sorry about the shirt,” he said sheepishly. She waved him off. "I work in a hospital, I can handle vomit. I didn't mean to trigger you. I have a bad habit of coming on a bit strong." He was incredibly embarrassed regardless. "Hold on I'll grab you a clean shirt. Actually just follow me." He led her to the elevator and got to his floor. 

He came out of his room to see Vivian with her shirt off rinsing it in the sink. She looked up and smiled "Hope you don't mind." He stood open mouthed and held out the shirt. He had forgotten what this feeling was. He was almost certain he was incapable of experiencing it again. "See something you like?" 

"Does the carpet match the drapes?" Why on earth did he say that? What the hell was wrong with him. Vivian didn't so much as flinch. "Do you want me to tell you or do you want to find out?" For the first time in a long time, he felt like he was almost normal again. It was great until Steve and Sam walked in unannounced. He couldn't be mad he told Friday they didn't need to announce themselves except he hadn't really thought about having someone over. 

Vivian took it like a champ. She hoped up from the bed and got dressed like it was nothing. "Looks like my fun's over." She gave a wink and left. He found Steve and Sam in the common room and he could barely make eye contact. "So who was that?" Sam's tone was more inquisitive than anything else. "Coworker of May's." Steve laughed "You always did have a thing for nurses." He looked over at him. "Did I?" Sam grinned. "Looks like there are some things you still remember just fine." Steve shook his head but he wasn't disappointed. "That's the Buck I remember. You could literally charm the pants off anyone." Later that night he was surprised to get a text from Vivian asking to visit again. He didn't hesitate in the slightest.

They didn't keep seeing each other for long but things ended on good terms. They just wanted and needed different things. He was surprised that only Sam, Steve, and May knew. He got the impression that private things didn't always remain such in the tower. He was glad he was at least wrong in this case.


	9. Thanksgiving headache

Thanksgiving was being spent in Dc with Sam. They agreed on a quiet simple celebration just the three of them. The drive down wasn't his favorite but it was better than flying. He knew Christmas had been present in all the stores since Halloween but he was still surprised to hear Christmas music on the radio. He was not surprised to hear Steve listening to it because Steve has always loved Christmas. 

When they arrived Wednesday night he went to bed as soon as they were settled. He had a headache from the car ride. No one pressured him. It had been 6 hours stuck in a car with Steve singing along to EVERY Christmas song. He took some aspirin and buried himself in his blankets.   
He woke up around 3 am and he felt miserable. He tried to sit up but the slightest movement made him feel sick. He could hear Steve and Sam both snoring in their rooms and it was agitating to say the least. He put his pillow over his head and tried to get some rest. He heard Steve get up and begin prepping items for dinner. Every pot that clattered every song he whistles it was like torture. Then he actually started cooking. Sam walked by the door just in time to hear him heave into the wastebasket. 

“You need some help?” Sam could see him wince as he spoke to him. He took his tone down to a gentle whisper. “You have a migraine?” He shrugged. “Don’t know. I get headaches like this sometimes. Can’t remember how I dealt with them though.” He helped him get comfortable in bed. “I’ll see if I can find something to help.” Bucky grabbed his arm “Tell Steve to stop whistling please.” He agreed to pass the message on. 

“Psst. You gotta cut out the whistling. Barnes has a migraine.” He looked up. “Really? He hasn’t had one of those since we were kids.” Sam leaned against the counter. “He said he gets them sometimes but doesn’t remember how he handled them.” He nodded. “My ma used to have to come over and take care of him, his family would pretty much move into my apartment until he was better. Wonder what started this one.” Sam was clearly running through things in his head.

“How did he seem on the ride down?” Steve thought back on the last day or so and the ride down. “Now that I think of it kind of agitated. Maybe a bit anxious.” Sam nodded. “Is this his first holiday back with you? I mean Wakanda doesn't have our customs and I doubt Hydra brought him out for Christmas.” Steve hadn’t thought of it. “Did I mess up Sam? Tell me honestly did I mess up?” He placed a hand on his shoulder. “No you didn’t. It won’t help either of you if you bend to accommodate. He has to deal with things.” He rummaged through the cabinet and pulled out a towel and moved to the fridge. Steve watched as he took a gel pad from the freezer and wrapped it in the towel. “Carefully place this on the back of his neck don’t make noise if you don’t have to and keep the lights off.”

Steve cautiously entered the room. “Buck?” he whispered as low as possible. “Sam sent me up with this. I’m gonna have my hands on your neck.” He simply groaned while Steve carefully placed the cool pad on his neck. “Sorry I ruined thanksgiving” he mumbled. Steve smiled resisting the urge to touch his head. “You didn’t ruin anything. I should have eased you into it. I kinda just told you two days ago. We’ll be here when you are ready.” He got up and left him to rest.

He and Sam ate dinner while trying to watch football in the quietest way possible. They ended up changing the channel to something that wouldn’t inspire more noise. When it was clear that Bucky wasn’t going to come down for dinner that night they packed everything up and went to bed. Sam woke up when he heard the coffee maker down stairs. He wondered if Steve couldn’t sleep so he went to check.

He instead found Bucky at the counter quietly demolishing thanksgiving leftovers. “Feeling better?” He turned to face him. “Much. Thanks.” He took a seat across from him. “My sister gets migraines. When she was a teenager, they were so bad sometimes she would end up in the hospital. I got really good at taking care of her.” Bucky nodded. “Steve’s mom would handle mine. The first time I had one after she was gone I thought I was going to die. I spent three days locked in my room, the blinds drawn and the pillows over my head. Don’t remember having any after that. Figured the serum would have taken care of that but instead it made it a nightmare.” 

Sam pushed a place of pumpkin pie towards him. “Yea Steve has had them before. He’s a real bastard when he’s hurting.” Bucky grinned as he put a slice of pie on his plate. “Yea. serum makes you super sensitive. He stubbed his toe in the barracks and said damn near every swear he knew. You would have thought he broke it but it was just because his body sent off every signal it normally does only now he could feel all of it.” Sam shook his head. “Shit like this reminds me that I’m happier being able to turn off my specialty.” He smiled. “Keep tellin’ yourself that cupcake.”


	10. Hardwired

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter references one of my other fics Home for the holidays. you don't need to read it to get this one.

After the Christmas holiday at the Barton house it was clear his arm wasn’t working completely. There was a lag in the motor functions and it was making a grinding noise. He also noticed it felt like something was overheating in it. He finally decided to go to Tony when he woke up and it pretty much wouldn’t move. 

When he approached the lab he could hear Tony's music blaring as he worked on god knows what. He knew after the week at the cabin during the summer they had an understanding but he also got the feeling that things weren’t completely settled. When he opened the door the music stopped and Tony looked at him. “Well I didn’t expect to see you down here what's the occasion?” He gestured to the arm. “It wont move.” Tony gleefully rubbed his hands together. “Finally I get a chance to see this thing.” 

Before completely removing the arm he had the plates open looking at the wires inside. “I would have expected shurri to use better parts inside here what the hell.” He shook his head. She couldn’t, none of her parts would work. T'challa had to go back to Siberia and get my arm so they could make an exact copy. The only new thing is the casing. They never updated the hook up and I didn’t want to go through rewiring right now really ever if it can be avoided.” Tony was surveying the outdated gears and wires. “I might be able to replace some of these with slightly better parts but the wiring is a little iffy. I'm going to take the arm off a bit and see what I can see is that ok?” He hesitated but agreed.

Tony now had the arm removed and all of the parts pulled out and lined up on the table. He was digging through a cardboard box muttering to himself. He finally pulled out an arm. “What is that?” He turned and grinned. “This was a prototype I was working on for the hell of it before I met you. Kinda forgot about it but i think some of the parts might work here.” He began to disassemble the arm and compare pieces. After a while he had now replaced things and was working on the wiring. 

He moved back over to place the arm and stopped. “What's this?” he was pointing to a connector near his shoulder blade. “Not sure. I think it's a connector for one of the pressure sensors but it hasn’t been hooked up as far as I can remember.” Tony surveyed the spot and ten the arm. “Do you mind?” He shrugged “Your funeral…” He stopped “Sorry. I just meant-”  
“It’s ok I got it. Proceed with caution screw ups are all on me.” He carefully attached the connector between the arms and began to replace everything. “Ok go ahead and move around for me.”

He wiggled his fingers and bent his arm. “Seems normal.” Tony was watching him as he bent his arm around. “Ok range of motion can i get a big circle and a little circle forwards and backwards for each.” He stood up and made the little circles first no issue. He moved to the big circles and Tony could see the arm seize. Bucky let out a grunt but he could tell he was holding back something much louder. “Talk to me what’s going on? Something hurt?” He was now holding his arm as if he was afraid to let it move. He began shaking his head and panting. “Friday do a scan what's going on?”

“It would appear that you have activated a crudely made sensor connected to the spinal column and the brain stem. It appears there is more feedback coming in than Sergeant Barnes is capable of handling at one time.” He looked over at him. He was now on the floor his back pressed against the wall. “Shit. Friday I’m gonna need some help here is Rogers available?” A few moments later Steve was in the lab trying to hold Bucky Still long enough for Tony and now Peter to get his arm off. “What did you do?” There was a pop and then Bucky went limp. Peter was now holding the arm. “Mr. Stark what the hell?” 

“He said I could hook it up. We figured if it was something he needed it should be attached. Nothing in Shurri's notes mentioned it.” Peter was looking at the skin near the connection. “Look at the track made on his skin from that. I bet that wire is stripped somewhere in there.” Tony nodded. “He won’t let us work on the internal stuff so for now it just stays disconnected.” He quickly ripped the wire from the arm. “I swear two steps forward and ten steps back. Don’t let him wake up here he might panic.”

Bucky woke up feeling hungover. He looked around and saw he was in Steve’s room. “Did I do something bad?” Friday answered his question. “Not at all James. Boss made a miscalculation when he attached that wire. It’s been removed but he and Peter think you really need to get the internal connections checked.” He got up to find everyone. “Not gonna happen Friday.” Steve was sitting on the couch waiting for him. “I can kill Tony if you need me to.”

“No I told him it was ok. How was I supposed to know I would flip out.” Steve looked visibly upset. “What were you doing?” He carefully held up his arm. “It wasn’t working and it's too heavy to carry without the assistance from the working parts. I didn’t have a real choice other than just taking it off.” He was now quiet. “Oh. I’m sorry. I would have gone down with you if you wanted.” He gave a weak smile. “I know you would have but I need to do some things on my own. That doesn’t mean I won’t need you anymore I just..need to be a little more independent.” Steve nodded. “Ok I can work with that but we are all here to help if you need it.”


	11. tooth ache

It was Bucky’s favorite activity of the week. His sparring session with Natasha and Clint. Aside from Steve, they were the only ones that would sparr with him. No one pulled punches and no one went easy. It was no holds bar short of killing each other of course. They could all take a hit except today Clint landed a punch on Bucky that left him swearing. Bruce hopped up from the sidelines and called time out. “What happened?” Bucky didn’t answer, he simply walked out. Clint looked at them “I didn’t think I could hurt him. I mean I have socked him in the mouth before no problem.” Bruce thought for a moment. “I wonder if he has a toothache?”  
“I thought he couldn’t get those. I mean the whole super soldier thing? Steve's teeth are pretty much perfect.” Bruce was texting someone as he spoke to them. “Well we kinda figure he falls between Steve and I on the whole super soldier ability spectrum. While the big guy cant get hurt easily we have had our share of dental issues. Since Hydra didn’t really engineer anything helpful for their serum other than raw power any advanced healing was a plus i think it's safe to say he isn’t immune to toothaches. I mean he got that stomach flu we all had last month remember?” Clint shuddered. “That was bad. I honestly thought I was gonna die from that.” they all nodded in agreement.

Steve looked at the text on his phone. “Barnes took a hit and walked out. Might have a tooth problem.” He found Bucky in the kitchen swishing his mouth out. When he spit he could smell alcohol. “You ok there Buck?” He wiped his mouth. “I’m ok. Barton just hit a sore spot or something.” He could see the spot on his jaw was a little swollen. He walked over. “Open your mouth.” Bucky looked at him and clenched his mouth shut. “Mm-mm” Steve reached for him. “Buck you are acting like a child just let me take a look.” He had him backed up against the kitchen island. Bucky quickly vaulted backwards and rolled off the counter. “Damn it Buck. We gotta deal with this sooner or later.” He shrugged and moved to the door. “Late then.”

By the end of the week he was a crabby miserable person to be around. He was eating and sleeping even less than usual. Bruce found him late one night in the kitchen holding an ice pack to his face. He sat down in the kitchen. “Still hurting?” He only glared at him. “Right stupid question. Look I know it’s still hard to trust people but no one here is going to harm you. We just want to help.” He could see his posture relax a bit as he let out a heavy sigh. “It’s not the actual people... it’s the chair.” Bruce felt so awful that he hadn’t thought of that. “Oh god. Why didn’t you just say that? We could have taken care of this without the chair.” He hung his head. “I didn’t want them to think I was still having setbacks. There were so many rules and things that came with me moving in here and it’s a bit suffocating. I can’t even go anywhere without asking permission like I’m a child.I’m older than everyone in this building and yet I have less free reign than the teenager that hangs around Stark all the time.” He got up from his seat. “Sorry. I don’t mean to unload on you.” Bruce smiled and he saw a flash of green for a moment in his eyes. “Don’t be sorry. I’ve been exactly where you are. I’m still there some days. When I moved into the tower S.H.I.E.L.D had their share of strings attached. There were days when I felt like they were going to ask for my bathroom schedule they were being so invasive. I finally communicated that to Tony and we made adjustments. Every person that's moved in here has had their share of growing pains. Just ask Wanda. She was put on house arrest and no one bothered to tell her until she tried to go to the store. Just communicate an issue so we can work on fixing it. First though may I take a look at the tooth? It’s not my area of expertise but If it just needs pulled I can handle that.”

He took a breath and sat in the chair closest to him and opened his mouth. Bruce was using his light on his phone to look into bucky's mouth. “Oh this is out of my hands. Your wisdom teeth came in and this one is pushing through the one next to it. Instead of it breaking it just keeps healing over. No wonder you are miserable. It’s gonna have to come out but it’s not a “pull it and be done job.” We can set something up in the morning. Helen should be able to take care of it quite easily in the med bay. No chair necessary. She will need to sedate you though.” He shifted nervously. “Can you maybe handle this without the team knowing? I don’t want anyone hovering.” Bruce looked at his phone. “Hey Friday is Helen still in the lab?” After a moment Friday’s voice quietly came over the room. “Dr. Cho is just wrapping up for the night do you need me to grab her?”   
“Yes please. Tell her to meet me in the med bay, it’s not an emergency but it’s important.” 

A few minutes later they were in the med bay working out how to remove the tooth in the most efficient way. Friday provided some helpful suggestions and it was decided that rather than remove the teeth it might be easier to grind them down and place a cap on them if they were able. They at least had more time to work with since the sedative that they used for Steve held out for about 30 minutes longer for him. When he woke up his face felt a little numb but it was better than the pain in his tooth. He could feel cotton in all four corners of his mouth. He looked confused at Bruce. “Please don’t be upset. When we actually got in there with the right tools we needed to get all of the wisdom teeth out. The other three hadn’t impacted yet but they were not far behind. We figured doing it all now would be better than doing this three more times.” He nodded. “You should be ok to eat solid foods in a day or two which speaking as someone who had those teeth removed before all this you will be thankful for that.” 

He had to admit once everyone found out he had 4 teeth removed they spoiled him rotten. He wasn’t normally one for attention but apparently Stark felt pretty bad that he created a situation where someone was not comfortable with getting help. While the pain was gone by the next day his cheeks were still a bit swollen for the next two days. Every time Tony saw him in the hall he looked a bit guilty. Even Steve was a bit embarrassed that he hadn’t stopped to think about the issue which as far as Steve goes wasn’t an uncommon problem. He could lead you into battle but he couldn’t handle social situations. Overall he was glad Bruce had the tact to reach out to him carefully. He was aware he could be a bit cagey at times and people were still handling him with kid gloves in some areas. Even Clint and Nat did it occasionally. They meant well it just bothered him. Banner seemed to be the only person that didn’t try to take things purposefully easy around him. Perhaps he could learn to deal with all of the other stupid rules if there were people like him around.


	12. When I don't remember you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just in case there might be a few adventure time spoilers if you haven't finished that series

The first few months of life in the tower were an adjustment. People mostly seemed to avoid him unable to hide their fear when they looked at him. Peter on the other hand had welcomed him with open arms. He was always happy to show him something or just sit and enjoy his company. With the schools on winter break Peter was around all day which was better than normal days where it seemed everyone was too busy. He couldn’t go out on missions yet he wasn’t cleared, he couldn't go out of the building alone because he wasn’t cleared. He and Peter had so far managed to sneak out twice with Friday’s help. Once to go get doughnuts and once to go to Starbucks because apparently that’s the best place for pumpkin spice anything. 

Today he appeared with a set of DVDs in hand and after removing his coat revealed he was still in his pj’s. He raised an eyebrow. "Movie day means pj’s." He smiled. The kid always had something planned. He always made time for him. “Well what's on the list today?” He plopped down on the couch next to him “Adventure time!” he yelled excitedly. He began to explain the plot of the cartoon and all the silly characters until Friday broke in. “It might be better to let James watch the show rather than just telling him about it.” They got the dvds set up and got comfortable on the couch. They were having a good time watching the show until season four rolled around and some of the Ice king's problems became a bit too familiar. It wasn’t until season five that Peter could tell the series had lost some of its appeal for him at the moment but he wasn’t sure what the real issue was. 

“Hey Friday? Time out. You good Mr. Barnes?” He looked pale as he sat quietly on the couch his jaw clenched. “I…..could we take a break from this?” He nodded “yea sure sure. We could get some lunch. A new pizza place just opened nearby we could slip out and try it. They have a really good deal on pizza for their opening.” He got up and grabbed his coat without another word. He was silent all the way to the pizza shop and well after they had each gotten their pizza he finally spoke.

“Kid what do you know about me?”Peter looked up from his pizza “Well I know you used to be an assassin and you were frozen like Cap. I know you lost your arm in the fall from the train and that Captain Rogers speaks the world of you which is pretty much the highest voucher for character in my book.” He let out a sigh. “I wasn’t exactly frozen like Steve. I was put in a cryotank whenever I wasn’t needed. Hydra would wipe my mind after every job. The longer I was on Ice the worse my mind got until I was nothing but a weapon. I had no clue who I was and every time a little piece of me would break through I would be wiped and frozen until next time.” 

Peter felt awful. He had never considered the dirty details of a former assassin’s life. He learned with Natasha around it was best to leave it be. “Just like Ice King” he muttered. Bucky smiled a little. “Kinda. Course I wasn’t chasin skirts like him. I would rather have been doing that.” He finally picked up a piece of his pizza. “So is Steve your Gunther?” He couldn’t help but let out a laugh. “I guess so or maybe he’s more like Marceline except he can’t really sing.” They finished the rest of their lunch and headed back for the tower. “Do you want to finish the show?” He shrugged. “I guess so but maybe give me a heads up on some of the Ice king episodes?” Friday took its upon herself to scan the remaining episodes and warn them if the subject matter might be troubling. It proved helpful when Peter had forgotten that Finn loses his arm and has a hard time dealing with that. The warnings made it possible for them to finish the series that day. Tony was a bit caught off guard when he walked in to find them teary eyed on the couch. After Peter assures him they are ok, he went back to what he is doing. Leaving them to appreciate the show together. Bucky places a hand on his shoulder. “So what’s next?”


	13. I can't go back in Storage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one gets dark bucky really needs a hug.   
> trigger warning mentions of Rape

The tower was near deserted but that was ok. Peter had just shown up with subs from some place he had been raving about for weeks. Friday began playing the second toy story movie for them. He had enjoyed watching the first one at the teams last movie night but couldn't seem to convince anyone to watch the second. He was careful not to watch movies alone because pop culture references were triggers that even Shurri hadn't considered. Nobody was laughing when he went postal on the tv during Spaceballs a month back. In hindsight he found it kinda funny that Hydra couldn't bring themselves to use an actual Star Wars quote as a trigger and that it came from a very jewish very anti Nazi comedian as well.

He and Peter set up the pillows and blankets on the couch grabbed some drinks and settled in for the movie. Occasionally they paused the movie to talk or he would ask about a reference made. Things seemed ok until the cowgirl doll had her first of quite a few freak outs about going back in storage. Bucky flinched a little and once again at the mention of Sputnik. It wasn't until the near end that he saw Bucky's face.

He was looking straight ahead but not at the movie. The cowgirls frantic cries about being in a box seemed to sync with every twitch of a muscle and every ragged breath he took. Steve had taught Peter what to do after the adventure time incident. "Mr. Barnes your ok. You aren't getting locked away. You have this whole huge space. Friday, stop the movie. Mr. Barnes please listen to me. You are ok. There's no tank here. There's no storage. There never will be ever again. Relax." He was rubbing his back trying to calm him.

He could see his breathing steady and his shoulders relax. He got up from the couch and walked into the bathroom where Peter could hear him getting sick. He knew he was doing all he could he just felt so awful that something so sweet and nice had become a moment of trauma re-lived. It was a common occurrence. He came back out and sat as close as he could to Peter. "We can finish." He spent the rest of the movie next to Peter as if he wanted to just hold onto him. 

Once the movie was over they put on Star Wars. It was the go to movie after an incident. "I never want to go back in cryo." Peter looked at him. He was pale and looked haunted by the memory. "At one point I was promised I would be kept out if I did my job. I took the detail, all I had was a name and a location. I was sent to kill a pregnant woman. The father was a prominent member of Hydra who wanted damage control at any cost. When I figured out the target even the cold hard winter soldier couldn't bring himself to harm her so I left. I walked out then and there. It took them two weeks to find me and bring me back in. I begged for another chance. Instead I was beaten, raped, and put back in the box." I never disobeyed until Steve found me.” Peter wrapped his arms around him unable to hold back his own tears. “I will never let that happen to you. No one is going to let that happen to you ever again. I’ll beat up anyone who tries.” He threw back his head and laughed so hard it almost frightened Peter. “I’m sure you will kid I’m sure you will. I can see why Steve likes you so much.”


	14. towers haunted

The team would be out for a week. It was a big call even Peter went with them. As far as he could tell there was no one in the building but him. Perhaps this was a chance to show he could handle things on his own. He was down in the gym when he first got the impression someone was watching him. He continued what he was doing occasionally checking nearby reflections or giving a careful glance over his shoulder but he couldn’t catch anyone if they were in fact there. 

He headed towards Clint’s floor to take a nice hot bath when he saw a woman at the end of the hall. Small study frame with a thick red braid down to her waist. He looked confused. “Sarah?” She quickly slipped around the corner and when he got there she was gone. “Friday is anyone in the building?” He didn’t want to have a setback when everyone was gone. “My scanners indicate you are the only one in the building at this time James.” Of course he was alone. “Ok Friday, please let me know if that changes.”

When he entered Clint’s bathroom he was confused to see the bathtub was already filled with hot water. “Friday, did Clint forget he was going to take a bath?” He knew Clint had his moments but damn. “Clint was not in his quarters long enough to do so. Is there and issue? I can place a maintenance order.”  
“Um no… was anyone else in his room this morning? Natasha maybe?”  
“No, Clint entered long enough to grab his bag and bow and leave you are the first person since his departure to enter the apartment.”

His better judgment told him to drain the bath and start over but on the other hand it was still warm, hot even. He finally figured a hot bath couldn’t be dangerous in anyway and made himself quite comfortable. It was hard for him to relax enough for a warm bath so he was going to take what he could get. He had almost forgotten about the “person” he saw until he realized it smelled like someone was cooking somewhere in the tower. “Friday is something cooking somewhere in here?”

“There are no kitchen elements in use at the moment James. Is everything ok? Tony said you could call Happy if you needed someone here.” He got out of the bath and got dressed. “No Friday I don’t need a babysitter. Maybe the quiet is just bugging me a bit but I could swear that someone was…” He stopped when he saw the pot of soup on the stove. “Friday, there's a pot of hot soup on the stove,how is that possible?” He moved closer to investigate. Someone had to be messing with him. “Friday scan this and see if there’s anything in it I should be concerned about.”  
“Looks like it’s plain old chicken and rice soup with quite a bit of parsley.” He looked at it suspiciously. “As long as you are sure it’s safe.” He fixed himself a bowl and sat down to play around on his Stark pad. At some point in all that he fell asleep and woke up with a blanket tucked around him. 

The next couple days continued like that. It would be pleasant if it weren’t so damned creepy. He casually texted Pepper. “Weird question...is the tower…..haunted?” he waited a few moments and got a reply “To my knowledge no. Is something wrong do you need me to send someone over?” He hated that everyone one thought he needed help. “No. Just...it’s nothing I’m sure Friday would let you know if there was an issue.” Pepper sat at her desk completely derailed by his message. It wasn’t unusual for him to text her if he had a question he didn’t want to ask Tony or anyone else or if Morgan was getting a little too close to his arm but this seemed unusual even by his standards. She decided to ask Tony if the tower was haunted. 

Tony smiled at his phone knowing a text from Pepper meant either a cute Morgan picture or maybe some get home safe motivation. He was NOT expecting her to be asking if the tower was haunted. “Pep, honey I didn’t build on an Indian burial ground and as far as I know the ghostbusters cleaned up the town in the 80’s so we should be good. Everything alright? I didn’t think Morgan was gonna go through the I believe in ghosts thing so easily.” She texted back a moment later “don’t tell Steve, I don;t want him to worry, but . James texted and asked if the tower was haunted. At first I thought He had forgotten about Friday somehow but he made it clear before I even asked that it wasn’t anything with Friday. I offered to send someone over but he declined.” 

Tony Scowled at his phone. This was gonna bug him now. He quietly pulled up surveillance and watched over everything barnes did. He paused. “HEY NAT!” She hopped over to him “What what is it?” He pointed to the surveillance. “What the hell is Barnes doing using Barton's room?” Steve was now looking at them. “He what? That’s not like him at all.” Nat frowned “Well cat’s outta the bag. Clint gave him permission to use the normal bathroom in his room. You overwhelmed him with that technological monstrosity you installed in his.” Tony was unusually quiet. “Why didn’t he tell us?” Nat glared at Steve. “As much as he has had to have help with how embarrassing do you think it was for him to admit he couldn’t figure out a shower? I’m impressed that he went to Clint before he went to me.” Tony nodded “Ok so Barnes needs a bathroom remodel simple have in done next week.” She shook her head. “No he has to ask for it. He will flip if he thinks we were spying on him which is what it looks like you are doing.”

Steve was now a bit closer. “What are you doing watching him?” He let out a sigh. There was no privacy in their current location waiting around for a supposed Hydra weapons deal. “Apparently Barnes asked Pepper if the building was haunted so I’m trying to see why he might be thinking that.” Steve sat down next to him. “Oh, ok…that’s...weird.” They watched through the footage. Nat noticed the pot on the stove. “Wait, go back where did the pot come from?” they moved back and replayed. The pot seemed as if it came out of thin air. “Friday slow it down as much as possible.” They watched it a third time at a snail's pace and caught a brief glimpse of green. “What is that?” Tony resumed the video normally instructing Friday to slow it at any point where something appeared. “What on earth are these weird green flashes?” Bruce was now looking over the footage with him while Steve and Nat went back to their respective tasks. “I mean If I didn’t know better I would swear it could be a ghost. Why not send Strange over?” Tony crossed his arms and huffed. “Because I don’t want Dory to think we can’t trust him to take care of himself and then he will know Pepper said something and he won’t trust her.” 

Bucky finally figured he would try and catch this mystery person one way or another. He found a comfy spot in his room and began to read a book. After a while he let it sag as he steadily pretended to doze knowing who ever was around would be sure to come by and drop a blanket over him. He felt a quick rush of air in the room and heard a sigh as the blanket was plucked off the couch his left hand was quickly wrapped around an arm that was frantically squirming to break free. “Stop it! Stop it you idiot you are going to break my arm” A dark haired man was now struggling practically in his lap. “Who are you? Why are you here?” 

“I’m here because it was the easiest place to hide from the wizard. Who I am is of no importance. Why are you left behind while all the other Avengers are out?” He let go of his arm. “Not cleared for missions. What do you mean you are hiding from the wizard? What wizard?” There was suddenly an orange flash in the room. “He would be talking about me Sergeant Barnes. Loki give the book back Wong told you that you could not remove it from the sanctum.” Bucky now had a knife drawn although he was not sure what it would do against a wizard. 

“I promise I’m not here to harm you. I have been looking for this one though. He took a very important book from me and I need it back.” Loki pouted “I was going to return it when I was finished. I wanted to read it in the comfort of my own home.” He frowned. “You know Wong does not like any of his first editions to leave the sanctuary so I must firmly ask that you return the book now.” Bucky watched as Loki produced a small book. “I was nearly done anyway. A shame there aren’t more works like it from Mrs. Shelley.” He could now see the gilded title on the cover “the modern Prometheus” He scowled. “You are hunting him down over a copy of Frankenstein?” Strange sighed “Yes because in case you didn't hear or didn't notice, that is a first printing. It still bears the original title before it was changed to Frankenstein. Wong is very proud of his first edition books particularly those in the science fiction realm.” He nodded “I see and you are?” 

“Right that was rude of me, I and Dr. Stephen Strange. I actually live nearby.” He quickly elbowed Loki. “Ow, right, I am Loki…...Thor's...brother.” He had only heard stories of Thor’s brother he wasn’t sure what to expect. “Are you the one that's been doing things around the tower?” He let out a chuckle. “Yes, it was my hope to keep you distracted enough that I could get a moment's peace. It nearly worked too.” He smiled “It didn’t work for a second. I have been spending the last few days trying to catch you in the act although I appreciated the soup.” Strange looked at him. “You fed him?” Loki shrugged “Something about him made me wonder if he was taking adequate care of himself. I certainly couldn't risk someone falling ill and ruining everything. Besides my spell was set to act on creature comforts. Sergeant Barnes has some rather basic comforts compared to others. He really only wants food and warm blankets with an occasional warm bath. I dare say that others have run me ragged with such a spell. It was quite refreshing to find someone who wants for so little.”

Bucky was now blushing and he didn’t exactly know why. “Um..thank you? I think.” Loki bowed “You are quite welcome. I must be off I sense you Avengers are due back any moment now and I would rather they not find me here.” With that he and Strange both disappeared leaving him alone wondering how this had become his life. Strange stopped Loki before he entered the sanctum. “Thank you for your help. I’m glad we could keep the winter soldier out of hydra’s hands.” He pulled the book out of his pocket. “You have it for one more day if you like but I expect it back.” He nodded. “I shall return it in the morning. Do you think we should have the soldier over for our game night? I observed that he has an affinity for some of the same things. He has been going through a collection of Ray Bradbury stories this week as well as watching several episodes of Star Trek and Lost in Space.” He thought a moment. “I will see what Banner has to say. I know Peter speaks highly of him however I’m inclined to think Peter sees the good in everyone seeing as though he is even kind to the bully at school. What did you do with the Hydra operatives that you found?” Loki grinned “I believe there are some beasts that were very happy with their evening meal for the first time in a long time.” 

A few hours later the team arrived back exhausted but otherwise ok. “How was the mission?” Tony glared and fixed himself a drink. “Bad intel nothing happened. Sat on that place all week finally moved in and found nothing.” Steve took a seat next to him on the couch. “How was your week? Anything interesting happen?” He shrugged “Nope quiet week. Nothing to report.” Soon enough everyone was moving to their respective rooms for a good nights sleep on a decent bed. Natasha stayed behind and slid onto the couch. “You should talk to Stark about the shower soon. I think it might go better than expected.” She gave him a peck on the cheek and left him to think it over. Maybe it was time to Talk to Stark or maybe he could use Clint’s for just a little longer until he found the right words.


	15. Dungeons and Dragons

A week or so later at the sanctum Strange was finishing table set up with Bruce. “So I met Barnes the other week. Loki thinks we should include him in game night. What do you think?” Bruce looked up from the papers in his lap. “It might be good for him. He seems to enjoy things that are completely new to him more than things he should know. We are just about finished the campaign anyway but he still isn’t really cleared to leave the tower without Steve or occasionally Sam. Perhaps we could bring game night to him? If you don’t mind that is. I mean I love having it here but again we don’t know if he will be allowed to come.” Peter had now sat down and joined in the conversation. “It would be awesome to have Mr. Barnes be a part of game night. I think he would love it. We’ve been having a great time watching movies together. It’s really surprising when you look at him and find out he’s a nerd like us.” Wong smiled “Well I think we know what Peter’s answer is. “I’m sure we can manage it. Would be nice to have some new characters.”

The next day Bruce caught Bucky while he was in the kitchen on his own. “Hey I wanted to ask you something, We normally have game night every week or so at the sanctum but we have to move to the tower for a while. I wasn’t sure if you wanted to join us.” He looked around the room “You want me to play? What kind of game? Also who’s involved cuz I don’t think I can handle competitive things with stark yet.” He smiled “Nope this one is 100% Stark free. It’s me, Peter, Dr. Strange, Wong and sometimes Loki. We play a game called dungeons and dragons. It’s a lot of fun. You make a character and then the dungeon master controls the story or campaign you follow. I can lend you the character and rule books if you like and you can think it over.” 

“Sure why not. I might not get the hang of it too quickly but It’s at least something. I’m supposed to be making more friends anyway.” Bruce almost jumped for joy. “Excellent follow me I’ll help you get setup.” He followed Banner to his floor at the tower. He had never been there before and from what he understood most hadn’t. He pulled a stack of books from the shelf and sat them down on the coffee table. It’s pretty simple, you pick a race a class and an alignment. Then you roll the dice to figure out things about your character like how smart are the how strong are they how well can they talk their way out of or into something. You use those to work with the other player to complete a story.” They sat together for a few hours talking over characters and he was a little surprised that he chose a Tabaxi who was also a bard. “So basically you are a singing cat?” He smiled “yes with a chaotic good alignment.” He could tell from the grin that they may have created a monster.

Later that week they had the table in the common room setup with a map and small buildings and even some little people. Steve and same walked in and Sam frowned. “Who took over the table with nerd stuff?” Bruce moved over to it with his papers and books. “That would be us. We moved game night from the sanctum so Barnes could join us.” Steve had picked up one of the little figures of a wizard which Bruce quickly took and placed back on the map. “This doesn't seem like a total surprise. Bucky has always been a bit of a nerd and from what I have read this is top tier nerd. We’ll leave you guys to it come on Sam we will hang out on my floor and leave them to their dragons and dungeons.” 

After a few hours not only was Bucky a natural but he was showing a completely different side of himself. Bruce even tested the waters a bit to see if he would really live up to the bard portion of his character. He was surprised when he had no problem paying the innkeeper with a song which he actually sung. Things ended rather abruptly when Tony came in and both Bucky and Strange vanished neither in the mood to deal with Tony’s condescending snark. Bruce sighed and made a note of their stopping place and he and Peter boxed everything up. He would take what he could from this and call it a victory. Bucky had shown a lot of his true personality through the evening and it was nice to see the carefree charming person that Steve wanted them to see.


	16. the renaissance fair pt 1

Game night had been going on carefully for the last two months and it was really helping Bucky get comfortable with people outside of Steve and Sam. They had begun to have movie nights every other week although one particularly rough day he and bruce watched all three Lord of the Rings movies and barley moved from the couch. Bucky had been having some rather bad flashbacks brought on by the spring weather and Bruce Hulked-out over something that really shouldn’t have pushed him that far. Thankfully it was minimal damage but full embarrassment. It was then that Bruce decided to invite Bucky to go somewhere with them. 

“So the renaissance fair opens up in two weeks. We were planning on going. Do you want to come?” He was quiet for a bit. “Maybe...but I’m still not okayed to go places without Steve and I know he wouldn’t go for it.” Bruce got a surprisingly devilish smile. Who says we gotta tell? I know for a fact that Steve has a mission at the end of the month and most of the tower is supposed to be empty that weekend. I can volunteer to hang with you, we can go for the day be back that evening and no one will know. You will keep it a secret, won't you Friday?”   
“Of course Bruce I would be Happy to help Sarge leave for a bit besides it’s not that different from sneaking out to get pizza or Starbucks with Peter.” Bucky looked accusingly at the ceiling. “You promised you wouldn’t tell.” Bruce laughed “It’s ok I knew. Peter doesn’t keep every secret too well but he knows what he tells me stays between us. It’s nice that you do stuff with him. Tony is a good mentor but sometimes he misses the bigger picture. Peter needs more than just a hero.” He shrugged “He reminds me a bit of Steve except he can hold his own in a fight better.” Bruce laughed. “He can bring out the childish side of Steve too. Last week they asked me if the hulk could fling the shield across the compound while they both held onto it just to see what would happen.” Bucky looked at him waiting for an answer “And?” He laughed “We don’t know, I refused. I have been through enough “can the shield ….. “With the two of them and I don’t think I can take much more of it. It’s one thing to clean up their mess when it’s just the two of them but I would NEVER hear the end of it if I enabled their poor choices.” 

“Well I guess we can try it but it’s on you if I get caught. How far away is it?” He pulled out his phone, “It’s a three hour drive but it’s a really nice fair. I try to go every year but the last few have been a bit too busy for me to get to it.” He was now looking at the map and the location noting that it was pretty much in the middle of nowhere meaning no way to catch him on a camera. “Who all is going?”   
“So far me, Peter, Strange, Wong and possibly Loki. Not sure if they were joking about him going. He hasn’t stuck around at game night long enough to get an answer and he doesn’t exactly carry a cell phone.” He passed the phone back. “What the hell why not. If you think you can make it happen I trust ya Doc.” 

He came into the living room area to find it empty. “He was supposed to be here” he muttered “Hi Mr. Barnes ready to go?” He jumped as the voice suddenly came from behind him. “Kid don’t do that to me.”  
“Whoops sorry. You told me to be discreet. Why all the secrecy anyway?” He saw his shoulders sag a little bit. “It’s kinda frustrating when even Steve thinks some of the things I like are lame. I know that “I shouldn’t care what they say” thing but after the reaction to dungeons and dragons I feel like Sam brings out the stupid jock side of Steve.” They heard someone coming into the room and stopped. “Morning guys we ready to leave?”

“Morning Dr. Banner. Still waiting on three people. Nice costume.” He nodded “Thanks. Been a while since I have gotten to wear it. You not dressing up Barnes?” He held up a duffel bag. “I’m changing when we get there.”  
“He’s still a closet nerd”  
“I’m not...wait what?”  
“A closet nerd. Someone that loves the nerdy side of life but doesn’t share that openly with others. It’s ok. Most nerds start that way. Today you will be with your people!” they took a seat on the couch while Bruce grabbed a few snacks and things and tossed them over to Bucky for his duffel. “So um ...are you technically allowed to leave the building without Sam or Steve?”  
“Nope, but my therapist said I need to develop healthy social interactions and I can’t do that here. At Least at the fair everyone will just think my arm is some kind of cool costume prop. I can also carry a few knives and still look in character. Not a lot of places like when you carry knives around.”  
“Can’t imagine why” Bruce said with a smile. There was a flash of light outside the door. A moment later Wong and Stephen Strange walked in followed by Loki. 

Bruce nearly dropped his coffee cup. “I thought you were joking when you said he was coming.”  
“They” He looked over at Bucky. “Loki uses they pronouns.” Loki stepped forward “Thank   
you sergeant. Yes I am how you midgardians describe as genderfluid. As you can see today.” Bucky rolled his eyes. “So much for keeping a low profile.” Loki chuckled. “Would you prefer a peasant? It’s not my favorite but perhaps I can make an exception for your sake. Speaking of appearances where is your outfit. Surely you are not going dressed like that.” He pointed to the duffel. “It’s in the bag I will change when we get there.”  
“He’s a closet nerd and doesn’t want to be seen” He shot a look a Peter. “Ah I remember those days. Hard to believe I was so shy just 1000 years ago.”  
“I never understood the concept of hiding oneself especially if they were gifted with intelligence and taste.” They all looked at Strange. “NEERRRRRDDDD” Wong nudged Peter. “That is not nice Parker besides Stephen is easily a dweeb.” 

“Well if you are done we are all ready to go.” They nodded and headed toward the door. “Friday said we can take the back elevator down to the garage no one will see us leave there. Before we go if you need a bathroom break go because I am NOT stopping. We have a 3 hour drive as it stands.” They looked over at Bucky. “Jeez we are all adults we got this.” He looked at Bruce skeptically. “Adult doesn’t matter trust me.” After a bathroom break everyone made their way down to the garage. “So which car are we taking?”

Bruce led them to a battered van. “This one. She doesn’t look like much but she’s got it where it counts.” They all piled in the van Bucky taking the driver's seat. Strange looked at him. “Should he be the one driving?” Bruce shrugged. “He has a driver's license now so i don't see the issue.” He nodded “Ok. As long as you are good with it.”

After a while of driving Loki cleared their throat. “So what does one do at a renaissance festival?” Peter looked up from his phone. “Oh, I didn’t realize this is your first one too. It’s great. There’s all kinds of food and drinks. There are games like Ax throwing and shooting bows and arrows. There are shows mostly a lot of Shakespeare performances and some different viking themed bands. It’s fun.” Bruce pulled a pamphlet from his bag. “I have the scheduled events for the day if we all want to pick something to do we should have time for it.”   
“Well I want to see the Jousting tournament. They normally spread that out in three parts of the day with the final showdown closing things out.” He nodded ok “Strange wants to see the joust. Anyone else?” He passed the pamphlet back to them. “Oh I want to check out the juggling show.” Peter passed the schedule to Wong. “They have a magic show? I have to see this.” They all looked at him “What I think they are funny.” Stephen rolled his eyes. “You are unbelievable.” Loki quickly plucked the paper away and scanned it. “Oh Titus Andronicus? Well I would like to see that one.” Bruce smiled. “You know Shakespeare?” He nodded “Mother would give me books from all the realms. I found Shakespeare's works to be intriguing and it is always hilarious that people tout his works as some high brow entertainment when it is some of the most infantile and vulgar writings of the time.” 

Bruce took the paper back. Ok so we have at least one joust on the schedule, a juggling act, a magic show, some Shakespeare, what about you Barnes?” He shrugged “Not sure this is all new to me. Closest I got to this stuff was seeing the Adventures of Robin Hood and a few books.” Bruce scanned the schedule. “Well maybe you will see something when we get there. I hope it’s not a long wait to get in. We got a pretty early start.”

Halfway there it began to rain. “Well the crowd should be nice now. Only the hardcore nerds go to the renn fair in the rain.” Loki frowned a bit. “Well now I will have to change.”  
“Aren't all your clothes magic so like mud and rain wouldn’t be an issue.”   
“They are magic in a sense but they are solid cloth and they can be soiled. If we are supposed to be inconspicuous I would do well to have one thing to wear and stick with it and it will have to be something that I don’t mind getting soiled because if I look too clean it will again alert people that something is not right.” Peter nodded “Oh right right right. Yes they might notice.” 

“So Mr. Barnes what kinda books did you read? I mean that got you interested in this kinda stuff.” He thought about it for a moment. “Well there were books about Robin Hood, King Arthur, and while its not explicitly Renaissance I had a copy of the Hobbit. I wish I hadn’t lost that book. I had with me when well...figure they probably tossed it with anything else. “ Bruce was frantically adjusting his glasses. “Do you mean to tell me you were toting around a first edition copy of the Hobbit?” He nodded “Yes I was. Of course I would have never imagined what that book would inspire years later. When it came out it was just another book.” 

Loki was now using Peters phone to find some ideas for a more weather appropriate outfit. After finding something that was pleasing they made the change. Bruce began to snicker. "What may I ask is so funny Dr. Banner?" Peter was also giggling. It was then that they noticed Bucky was bright red. "Do you see something you like Sergeant?" Loki replied adjusting the corset. "You caught me off guard is all." Bruce looked at him. "If that's what you want to call it by all means." 

The rain let up just as they began to see signs directing them towards the grounds. They arrive with 90 minutes to spare before the gates opened. They all piled out of the car. Bucky began to change. "Damn they fucked you up!" Everyone looked over at Peter who was staring at Bucky. He was covered with scars all over his body. Bruce grabbed his collar. "Ok let's go get tickets meet us at the gate when you are done." 

Everyone followed Bruce to the ticket office at least he assumed they had. When he turned to grab his pants someone handed them to him. "Thanks" he muttered before he looked back up to see Loki sitting on the tailgate twirling their hair innocently. Placing a hand on his chest Loki stood up and smiled. "You hide your misery well Sergeant"  
"That's what Stark's therapist is being paid for."   
"I hadn't realized you were always in physical discomfort. Are you sure today's activities will be a good idea?" He finished getting dressed. "I don't hurt any more than normal so I can manage. I'm sure there will be chances to pace ourselves and if not I can handle it." 

Loki was scanning his outfit. A simple tunic a cowl to hide his face. "Your outfit is missing a few things do you mind?" He shrugged "guess not." Loki added a belt and changed his shoes from the ragged black combat boots he had been wearing. He also added chain mail. "That's better. Couldn't have my escort looking like that. Where did you get your outfit anyway?" He shuffled his feet around getting used to the new shoes. "I made it."  
"Oh. The details are nice. I hope you like my additions. I think you will find the shoes are quite comfortable. Now let's go with the others." He stopped them. "Why are you being so nice to me? I get the impression you aren't exactly easy to get along with." Loki wrapped an arm around him. "I am quite particular with who I associate with. I find you fascinating. You are aware of the atrocities I have committed and yet you still treat me with respect." He shrugged "kindred spirits I guess."

They waded through the crowd looking for the others. They found them just as the gates were opening. They were now all staring at them. "Did you plan on being the noble ladies escort today or was that a happy accident?" He was now looking at himself and Loki. "You did that on purpose, didn't you?"  
"Oh my. I seem to have confused red and green. This is sooooo embarrassing. Well too late to change that now isn't it squire." He grumbled a bit but they made their way in.


	17. renaissance fair pt 2

Sam promised he would go look in on Bucky. They didn't want to hover and make it seem like they didn't trust him but they also had a list of conditions a mile wide to follow between S.H.I.E.L.D. and Tony. Normally on Saturday the common area was busy. He walked in to find it empty. The lights still off as if no one had been there. He did notice Banners coffee cup so there had to be someone around. "Yo Friday, where is everyone?"  
"Hello Sam. Tony is away as is Ms. Romanov"  
"Friday I know you know who I mean. Where's Barnes?"  
"My scanners indicate he is not currently in the building."   
"What do you mean he is not in the building?"   
"He and Dr. Banner left a few hours ago. I expect that he is under capable supervision."  
"That's not the point Friday. Steve is comin' back early, as this afternoon early. We promised Tony we would keep an eye on him till he got the clearance from his psychiatrist. Jeez Steve is gonna kill me."  
"I can put you through to Dr. Banner if that helps."  
"Yea do that. Then i gotta figure out what to tell Steve."

They were just getting seated for lunch when the phone was ringing. Bruce was about to silence it when he saw that it was Friday. "Excuse me guys I gotta take this one." He walked over to a less crowded spot. "Hello?"  
"Where are you and please tell me you have Barnes with you."  
"Sam, yea I felt bad leaving him alone so I took him out." There was a sudden loud shout from a crowd followed by a cannon blast. "Did I just hear an explosion? Where are you?"   
"It was a canon and I took him to a living history thing. Don't worry its fine. We will be back this evening."  
"Well you get to answer to Cap because he wrapped up that job early and he's headed back this afternoon."   
"I'm sure he will understand. Tell Steve if he needs to he can call me but I swear nothing is going to happen." Sam hung up and he made his way back over. "Everything ok Dr. Banner?" He nodded "It will be. Sam came to check in and found the place deserted and panicked. I assured him everything was good and we would be back this evening."

There were dozens of food stalls to choose from. They took turns watching their table and going to grab food. "Mr. Barnes any idea what you wanna eat?" He shook his head. "Not really got a recommendation?" Before Peter could say anything Loki appeared and placed a tray and two cups in front of him. "I took the liberty of getting a few things you might like." He raised an eyebrow. "Um...thanks?"   
"You are most welcome squire." He had to admit Loki made some good choices.

They had seen all of the shows they wanted by then and were going to close out the day with the joust. Peter suggested they play some games in the meantime. They stepped up to the ax throw. "So what's the goal here?" Bucky watched as people lined up. "Well you gotta hit the target. The closer to the center the better your points and you get a better prize." He nodded. "Seems simple enough." Bruce was watching them carefully. "Remember guys low key." They both nodded. Loki was perched on the wooden fence nearby. "I think things are about to get more interesting. James has already had two drinks which has caused him to lower his inhibitions and the spiderling is quite good at egging people on." Bruce looked over at him. "He's a super soldier he can't get drunk."  
"I assure you Dr. he can and he is at least a bit buzzed. Do you think its been awhile since he last drank?"

There was a cheer from the booth and they looked over to see Peter practically sulking. "I can't beat a guy who can hit the target in the same spot three shots in a row." Bucky patted his back. "I've got a good 75 years of experience on you kid. You did alright. Just don't call for a challenge round if you can't keep up." Wong came back over. "So what did you win?" He held up a wooden coin. "Drink token." Bruce looked a little worried. "I didn't realize the prize was alcohol." Peter shook his head. "Only if you are old enough and you have to get a perfect score." He looked over at Bucky. "I need you to take it easy ok? If this goes well we can make the argument that you can leave the tower more with others." He waved him off. "I'll be fine. I am a super soldier after all. Plus this stuff isn't half as bad as some of the garbage I have drank." 

By the time they sat down for the joust he was sloshed. Loki and Peter were holding him up mostly after he stumbled down a hill in the mud. Bruce was trying to take it in stride. "You all are horrible enablers. I'm the one that is gonna have to deal with Cap and Sam." Just then his phone rang. As if on cue it was Steve. "Hey Dr. Banner just checking in. I was supposed to be back this afternoon but Sam and I were called out on another job. Just let Buck know we will see him either late tonight or in the am."  
"Yea Cap thanks for the update." They all looked at him. "Well someone was looking out for me. Cap and Sam were sent out on a call. We will be back before they are." Peter nodded "That's awesome. I'm sure he will be fine in a while." 

Bucky was leaning his head on Loki's shoulder as he watched the joust. "You know you smell pretty" he slurred out. Loki smiled. "It's true. You smell nice doll. Like old books and nutmeg." Even Bruce couldn't keep a straight face. Peter leaned toward Wong "I think this is gonna be more entertaining than the joust." 

He managed to mostly pay attention to the show but was still occasionally telling Loki what was nice about them. When they got back to the car they helped him into the back seat and all piled in Bruce and Strange taking the front seat Peter and Wong in the middle leaving Loki to sit in the back. Before they were even out of the parking lot Bucky was sound asleep snoring into Loki's shoulder as they read a book. 

Three hours later he wasn't quite as sober as Bruce would have hoped. They got him upstairs and onto the couch. Loki surprisingly stayed to help look after him. Bucky had resumed the position of being snuggled against him. They felt a little bad for not stopping him but it was hilarious to see him drink several cups of mead and still best most the people there. Not even Thor could claim to be that efficient while impaired despite his size he was a bit of a lightweight. Bruce left to change "Ask Friday to grab me is you need anything." 

When Tony arrived at the tower get a spare part for his suit he dropped into the common area to see if anyone was around despite the late hour. He did not expect to find a muddy hung over winter soldier dressed like a nerd cuddling Loki on the couch. He took a deep breath and grabbed a pot from the kitchen. 

"This is not a flop house for tortured nerds" he said banging on the pot loudly. They both jumped up rolling off the couch. The blanket now off he saw the lipstick marks where his shirt was bunched up. Loki was also in a similar state of undress the placement of mud telling most of the story. Just then Sam and Steve walked in. "Surprised anyone was still up." They both stopped. "No way ...Barnes I didn't think you swung that way." Steve looked a bit embarrassed. "Buck really?" 

Loki began buttoning up their shirt and picked up the corset. "I'll see myself out. Until next time Sergeant." They disappeared into the hall. Bucky sat back down on the couch. "I'm not even gonna explain myself just get it over with." Sam was now howling with laughter as Tony made a comment about incinerating the couch and bleaching his brain. Steve shook his head. "You always were a sucker for a brunette." 

Tony got his last few quips in and left. "So looks like you had a good day." Bucky got up. "I'm going to bed." Sam raised an eyebrow as he staggered by. "Are you hung over? I didn't think you could get drunk." He stopped. "I'm not Mr. perfect here, there's a lot that still gets to me." He could see Sam now looked a bit uncomfortable. "Sorry man i didn't know. Look I hope you had a good day. I'm sorry I laughed at you." He stopped in the doorway "Don't be sorry for me." He walked out to his room. 

He opened the door and found Loki on the bed. "Thought you left." They looked over at him. "Seeing oneself out doesn't mean they are leaving completely. I came to thank you for an enjoyable day and if you should feel you need a certain amount of ...companionship again I might be inclined to visit." He nodded and they left.

When he finally joined the living for breakfast everyone was looking at him. He said nothing only grabbed some coffee and sat down. Bruce got up. "I've got some stuff to do" He nudged Wanda "me too." They both scurried off. He looked up at Steve. "Really? You wanna do this now?" Sam took a seat closer to them. "I just want to make sure you aren't making a decision for the wrong reasons."   
He glared at him. "Is it so hard to believe I actually kind of liked their company? I mean Jesus it's been years since someone looked at me that way."  
"Well that's kind of the point. Loki likes to play with people and you could make an easy target for mind games." He got up from the table. "Look I know your experience with them hasn't been great but guess what I don't have that baggage it was a clean slate for both of us." 

Sam now stepped in as mediator. "Look Steve is just tryin' to watch your back. I don't have much of an opinion on Loki." Steve looked at him as if he betrayed him. "Look I know adjusting has been tough. I also know you have a habit of getting mixed up with people who hurt you."  
"I think you are just jealous that I was with someone, especially someone you wrote off as bad news. Maybe I get them, the way people look at you unsure if you are really safe." Sam looked over at Steve. "That's a fair point." He ran his hands through his hair. "I'm beginning to think that you only like a dame that's trouble." Bucky growled and began to pace. "And you like feet which is gross by the way but do I bother you about that? No" Sam was now looking between them. "Ok first of lets not make this personal and second off really Cap? Look I'm gonna say this, Barnes is a big boy and he knows what he wants. As long as it's something safe leave him to it. We gotta extend a little more trust here." 

He sat back down in the chair. "You're right. I just worry. Just promise me you wont get yourself into trouble and if you do just talk to me please." He nodded "I can do that." As if on cue his phone lit up with a text message from the kid. It was a picture of them all together. It was the first happy picture of him in a long time. He passed the phone over to them. "This is what I got out of yesterday aside from the hangover."

Sam looked at the picture. "Wow y'all a bunch of nerds but that's a pretty genuine smile. See this is a good thing. Let him be the world's oldest nerd. You gonna show this to the therapist at the next session?" He nodded "figured it was part of that whole healthy social interactions." Steve smiled. "How did you end up such a nerd?" He shrugged "guess i'm just lucky like that."


	18. breaking up is hard to do

He had received two more lectures about Loki from Tony and Clint. Despite that he was currently in the back emergency stairwell with Loki's tongue rammed down his throat. "Damn doll ya gotta let me come up for air." Loki smirked "I thought a super soldier could handle anything." Loki now had him splayed out on the stairs. It was then that he looked up and saw Clint and Nat staring down at them. He quickly shoved Loki off. 

"Shit. Do you guys mind?" Nat crossed her arms. "This is where you have been sneaking off to? How long has this been going on?" Clint smirked as Nat grilled them. "It's been going on a week Natalia and I would appreciate it if you'd just butt out." Her scowl deepened "Of all the people, I just hope you know what you are doing." He winked "I've had a good handle on it so far." Loki gave him a peck on the cheek and disappeared. "Well now that you chased my date away I'm going to shoot some things."

He was at the range for an hour before Bruce found him. "Hey how are you doing?" He didn't look away from his targets. "Are you here to lecture me too?" He smiled "no I came to tell you that Steve agreed you could leave the tower with me. I figured we could move game night back to the sanctum. Loki will feel better coming there." He put the gun down "you're alright you know that Banner?" He began to clean up the targets and put the rifle back. "I'm fine with the location change, especially if it means Loki will come." 

He was practically skipping around the tower for the rest of the week. Tony crossed his arms. Is he always like this when he has a boy toy or whatever he wants to call it?" Bruce had been listening to most everyone complain about James and Loki. "I think the word you are after is girlfriend. Loki has been presenting female when with him,besides I think it's nice. Friday reported that he has not had as many nightmares in the last week or so." Steve had yet to look up from his plate. "Where is Barnes anyway?"

Natasha stepped into the kitchen "he's on the roof. Said he wanted some time outside." Steve didn't seem bothered by that but Tony was curious. "Friday, show me the roof." Friday pulled up the footage and Wanda giggled. "Someone's having dessert for breakfast." Steve looked up to see Bucky and Loki curled together feeding each other. 

"Oh gag. Why didn't you warn us Fri?" The Ai was not playing his game. "Boss it would benefit you to know that since this past Saturday James has, for the first time since his arrival, met and most times exceeded his required calorie needs for the day and has gained at least 4 lbs." Steve looked ecstatic with that information. "He's actually eating enough? That's amazing. Tony, it's taken months to get him there, we can't mess it up." Tony grumbled and left for his workshop to pout.

Every time Loki was with him she would feed him. Each time it was a little more. Today it seemed like there was no end to it. He kissed her neck and pulled her close. "You trying to fatten me up Doll?" She smiled as she rubbed his stomach. "Yes. I am." She was now in his lap feeding him more food. Her other hand was resting on his thigh. "Doll, you can't keep playing with me like this." She grinned "Are you sure James? If you want to go further we can but I would prefer privacy. Friday is able to record us up here." She hopped up towards the door and he followed her into the elevator.

That evening their game night was more lively than ever. Bucky felt more comfortable with them and had no issue with them seeing him with Loki. Bruce couldn't help but smile. "Hey Loki it's your turn. Keep it up a d I'm gonna make you do a dexterity role before you can kiss James again." Strange began to laugh choking on his drink. Wong's eyes went wide. "That is the first time I have heard you laugh. I like it. We need to hear it more." 

He wiped the soda from his beard "well, even I can't keep it together with Barnes trying to make out with Loki like it's going out of style. I bet this eats Stark up to see doesn't it?" Loki gave a wide grin. "Oh you know it does Stephen. If I recall he admitted to you that James has an ass that would make Baryshnikov jealous." The color drained from Bucky's face as Peter quickly dove over the table and grabbed him. 

Loki looked frantically while the others seemed to almost expect this sort of thing despite how violently he was gasping and convulsing. "What on earth is wrong with him?" Strange had picked him up and was carrying him towards the guest room. "We must have stumbled upon an old trigger word used for deactivation. Best we can do is make him comfortable until it ends."

When he opened his eyes Loki was dozing in the chair nearby while Strange checked his vitals. "Welcome back. Sorry about that. Seems we found a trigger word. Do you feel like you can handle breakfast?" He shook his head. "No. I feel like I'm gonna puke if I even have to think of eating." He nodded "fair enough. Bruce will be by to pick you up just relax and sit tight until he gets here." Once he left Loki was sliding onto the bed with him. He laid his head down on Bucky’s shoulder. “I hope you still love me like this. I just...didn’t feel very….pretty today.” He wrapped an arm around him. “Nah. you’re still you. Thanks for staying. Sorry if I scared you.” There was a soft knock on the door. 

“Morning, I came to take James home.” Loki got up from the bed. “Good morning Bruce. Make sure he gets some rest. I have some things to take care of today and I must be going.” Bucky frowned. “I think I scared him off. We have never spoken of the extent of my…..damages.” He carefully got up from the bed taking the hand Bruce offered to steady himself. “I’m sure he will come back. You guys seem to be doing well for each other the last two weeks. Just give him some time and space.” He nodded “yeah hopefully that's all it is.” 

A few more days had gone by and there was no sign of Loki. Thor evaded questions about him when Bucky asked. Steve found him moping on Bruce’s couch watching a movie with him. “Bruce? You need me to take him? Friday said he was here.” He looked up from the screen “No he’s ok here. I will let you know if I need you.” Steve ran his hand through Bucky’s hair. “It’s gonna get better. I promise.”

He stepped out in the hall and saw Tony standing there. “I tried to tell him, Clint tried to tell you, you tried to tell him, hell Nat even tried to tell him but he just couldn’t listen.” Steve frowned and kept walking. “I don’t think now is the best time. Heartbreaks happen we all know that but right now he doesn’t need I told ya so he needs support. He was so damn happy with Loki i just….why did they have to do that to him? Not even a word a reason just poof gone.” They rounded the corner and walked straight into Thor.

He stood a moment and cleared his throat. “I think there has been a misunderstanding.” Steve gestured to his room and they walked inside for some privacy. “Whats up Thor?” They took a seat on the couch. “Loki tried to help settle James’s mind after the incident last week. It would appear they saw some….things. A woman with blue hair.” Steve froze “Oh god Thor that was months ago. She and Buck hooked up a few times but it didn’t last.” Thor frowned “Well that was the sticking thought it James’s head it was over powering everything.” 

Steve sighed “Is it possible he’s been trying to be more…..close with Loki and that was the only point of reference his mind had? He’s been so scrambled by everything Hydra has done I'm surprised he even remembers to eat some days.” Thor sat back and considered his words. “This could be however Loki is a very emotional person and sometimes he does not stop to think before jumping to conclusions. Perhaps they got the impression that they were just a temporary play thing.” Steve nodded “I can get the conception and if this was the Bucky I knew in 1943 I would say absolutely but he doesn’t seem like he wants to be that way anymore.” Thor shrugged. “All I know is that Loki feels slighted and I dare say Darcy has not helped things at all. I will make my attempts to speak with Loki and try to reason but I feel this may take more time than one might desire.” 

Bruce carefully comforted Bucky as he listened to Loki explain he needed space for a while. It made him angry that Loki chose to do it over a video call when he knew he could be there in person but he also accepted that both parties had so many other problems this might have been the safest for both of them. Loki said their peace and hung up leaving him to deal with the fall out. He was not prepared for the low pained moan that came from Bucky. “We can get through this, trust me. Give Loki some time. They let you explain and hopefully that will help. I’ve been through my share of breakups they suck.” He looked up at Bruce with wet eyes.

“I wish Hydra had ruined the part of my heart that could break.Why does it have to hurt so much?” Bruce patted his back as he hiccuped and offered him more tea. “Your brain produces a response because it doesn't quite know what it's doing. I know Hydra took so much away from you and it doesn't feel like it now but the fact that you can feel what you are feeling right now is so important. I would be more worried if you didn’t feel anything. You are still you, still human, you are and always will be Bucky Barnes and 70 years of hydras bullshit couldn’t take that from your core only hide it.” Bucky threw his arms around him and sobbed until he fell asleep. Bruce was left with no other choice than to gently sit back and keep him comfortable until Steve could come collect him.


	19. camping with Sam

The mission was going to be an entire month long he would, with luck be back in time for his birthday. Until then Bucky was going to stay with Sam. Bucky was doing ok after his breakup but he didn’t like the idea of leaving him alone. Stark would be at the cabin with his family now that school was out and Peter was busy with his friends and if Steve read between the lines right his girlfriend. He smiled at the thought. He had met M.J. twice and she reminded him of Peg. He knew he compared many women to her but she was as good a standard as his own mother. Strong, intelligent, amazing. Anyone was lucky to find that in a partner. He moved towards Bucky's room only to have Friday stop him.

“James will be out in a moment he cannot have you in his apartment because your birthday gift is exposed.” He smiled. “Ok Friday. I can wait for him in the kitchen.” He moved to the elevator. Bucky was almost finished setting things up. “Ok Fri. you remember what to do?”   
“Absolutely James. All access to your living quarters is restricted to anyone other than Agent Barton. He will arrive to pick up the gift two days before the Captain's birthday party at the lake.”  
“Good good. If there are any issues, patch me through and try to keep the smell controlled if you can.”  
“Sure thing James. Enjoy your trip to Sam’s”

He met Steve in the kitchen, his duffel ready to go. Steve looked up from his sandwich “That’s all you’re taking?” He nodded “yup that’s all I need. Wilson kept me occupied last time. I've got clothes and two books. Not much else I need.” Steve smiled a little. “Are you really gonna let him take you camping?” He shrugged “Assateague sounds nice. Never seen wild horses before only ones on farms and pullin’ carts. It's just for a week of the trip. I’ll live.” He patted his back. “Ok well I’m gonna hold ya to that. I can’t check in on you this time.” 

They boarded the jet with the team and headed for D.C to meet Sam. When they arrived he was waiting with the car already packed with camping gear. "You ready Barnes? We got a long drive ahead of us." Steve smiled "you were really serious about taking him camping." He nodded "seemed like a good idea. Spend a week there then we are going to my sister's place in Delaware to see her and my mom." Natasha raised an eyebrow. "You sure Barnes is gonna be good with that?" He shrugged "won't know till we try. You guys be safe out there. Send us a postcard and we will see you at.the lake on the 30th." Steve gave Bucky a hug and got back on the jet as he watched them drive away. "I hope Sam knows what he's doing." Wanda took his hand "Sam is very caring and patient. I think he knows exactly what he is doing."

The drive took nearly three hours. They stopped about halfway at a dinner that Sam had been raving about. "So you seem kinda quiet wanna talk about it?" Bucky put the menu down on the table. "I don't know. It's complicated." He nodded "That's ok. Any idea what you want yet? Also we are stopping at a grocery store a little closer, i want you to make at least one meal this week. Steve told me you cook a little." 

He froze. "I didn't know you wanted that…...i um….there's only one recipe i know from memory." Sam smiled "that's fine. Make that." The waitress wandered back over "any decisions yet?" Bucky shook his head "we need five minutes more please." She nodded at Sam and walked away. "What do you want? You can get anything you like." Bucky looked nervously at him. "Anything?" He nodded "yup. Just so long as you eat something." He glanced back at the menu and nodded "pie." 

"Pie? That's it? I mean that's ok just …. Surprised me is all." He nodded again "Yup. Pie. That strawberry pie in the case looks really good." Sam laughed "Ok. Pie it is." They enjoyed their meal quietly. Sam watched as Bucky made sure before he ate that it was ok for him to have it. He wished for all the world that Bucky didn't feel that way but he did recognize that he had come so far in the last year alone.

They got back in the car and continued driving. "Loki dumped me." He said it so quietly and softly Sam almost missed it over the radio. "What now?" Bucky shrunk into his seat. "I had an incident at game night last month and Loki tried to help me. They didn't like what they saw in my head so they dumped me." Sam felt angry listening to him. "What do you mean? What did they see?" Bucky turned red. "I was, um...thinkin about Vivian. I just… not that I wanna be back with her, it's just um… I was a bit… worked up that day. Every time we got close to anything more than heavy petting someone interrupted." Sam looked at him. "Heavy petting?" Bucky stopped a moment "um….making out? Just kissing no sex." 

"Oh ok. Never heard that term before. So you wanted to do to Loki what you and Vivian did but they misunderstood?" He nodded "that's about the size of it." Sam patted his shoulder. "Misunderstandings suck. Maybe in time you can fix it. For now we can enjoy the beach and the horses." Bucky laid back a bit in his seat "so are the horses really just wandering around?" Sam turned the radio off. "Yeah. Just gotta be careful they will steal food and they do bite. Don't feed them and don't try to pet them. If you don't want them to bother it secure it in the car or the trailer." Bucky looked at him. "Trailer?" He smiled "I called in a favor. I figured that arm might make sleepin' on the ground rough. Riley's parents dropped the trailer off at the campsite this morning and they will come get it when we leave." 

They arrived at Assateague and followed signs to the campground. When they got to their site Bucky was glad they had the trailer. The site was mostly a plot of sand with a fire pit a grill and a picnic table. He hated how sand could get in his arm so easily. Sam walked over to the trailer and opened a panel to reveal the spare key. "Here we are. Our home away from home for the next week." The inside was small with a small room in the back that had bunk beds. "You want the top or bottom?" He walked in and inspected the beds "I think bottom is best. Don't want to fall out." 

They went back to the car to unload and found a horse investigating the new arrival. It walked around the car and finally walked over to them sniffing each one up and down. After a moment a few others came out and were all sniffing at Bucky's arm. "Sam….they are licking me….what do I do?" He looked around and then whistled sending them scattering. "Guess they never saw a guy with a metal arm before." He rolled his eyes. "Gee ya think?" They moved the food from the car and set up chairs at the fire pit. After a few hours and only one more horse interruption they had everything settled and unpacked. 

“So do you wanna cook dinner or do you want me to?” Bucky got up from his chair “I can do it. Might as well get it over with.” Sam crossed his arms “I don’t want you to do it if you hate it.” He shook his head “It’s not that I hate it I just haven't really cooked for anyone aside from Stevie and I feel like even if it was total crap he would eat it just to be nice.” Sam conceded “Yea he would do tha. I will tell you if it’s not good but I promise I won't be mean about it. What are you making anyway?” Bucky Grinned “It's a surprise.”   
“I’m not sure why but I don’t think I like the way you said that.” 

An hour or so later he came out to the picnic table with a plate of toast and a pan with something grey in it. Sam looked at it and wrinkled his nose. “What the hell is that?” Bucky fixed a plate and gave it to Sam “It’s G.I chow.” He stared at the plate “This is definitely an army thing. In the air force food wasn't cruel and unusual punishment.” Bucky rolled his eyes “Well in the army we were just a bit tougher. It’s better than it looks, try it. In the war the days we got shit on a shingle instead of rations were practically a holiday.” Sam glared at him “Did you just call something you want me to eat shit? That’s not how you convince people to eat something you made.”

Bucky was already happily eating his. Sam poked at it a bit and finally gave it a try. “Ok um...this actually isn’t bad once you get past the appearance.” He grinned “See told ya it was better than it looks.” Bucky tossed him a piece of toast “Try it on the bread.” Sam did as Bucky did “What's in this any way?” Bucky dished out what was left between them “Butter flour milk and ground beef. You can use any meat you like. One time we used deer meat that was pretty good. Steve sometimes puts peppers in it.”   
“So its like a poor man’s hamburger helper?” Bucky stared at him confused “What?” Sam dropped his fork “You don’t know what hamburger helper is? I’m gonna have to fix that. Its kinda like this but it has noodles there ones with cheese or taco flavor. It’s kinda like a casserole but you make it on the stove. They have them for other meat too like tuna.”

He leaned back a bit “Huh haven’t heard of that yet. Of course I kinda just get what I know from the store if I go at all. Someone else takes care of food at the tower unless Steve specifically takes me.” Sam made a face “He insists on that little place in Brooklyn with the organic and homemade stuff. You won’t find Hamburger helper there.” He laughed “Yea I think he likes that they don;t bother him there. He hates when people stop him on his run because he’s too polite to keep moving.” It was then that one of the horses without warning bolted over and yanked at his hair sending him falling backwards on the ground. It then made a move for the rest of his dinner which Bucky stupidly tried to defend. This resulted in a combination head butt and a well placed hoof to the stomach. Before Sam could react the horse helped itself to the place and left Bucky on the ground. 

He carefully moved him to the bunk inside the trailer. There was already a bruise on his stomach and he could see the two black eyes from the obviously broken nose. “Well that’s not how I planned to spend the first night.” Bucky woke up a while later with a groan. “Fuckin horse.” Sam couldn’t help laughing. “I told you not to touch them. You had a Steve moment there of course I think Steve would have head butted the horse.” He moved out to the table and sat down. “Why the hell do they let people camp in a place with attack horses?” Sam raised his eyebrow “Attack horses? Seriously?” He crossed his arms “Well what would you call that? I didn’t want it to steal my food.” 

“You are kinda in their house. It’s ok we still have plenty of food. Tomorrow we can check out the beach a bit, maybe hop over to ocean city to the boardwalk. You might like that it’s kinda like Coney island. We could also take you to frontier town.” Bucky looked at him “Why does that sound childish?” He laughed “It’s not completely childish. It’s fun. I mean it’s kinda dopey but it’s fun. Riley took me years ago, I feel like you might get a kick out of it.” He smiled. “He was pretty special to you wasn’t he?” Sam eased back into his seat “Yea best friend I ever had. You remind me of him sometimes. The way you bust my chops about things.” He smiled “well you remind me of Steve at times but you have more self preservation. For a guy who barely made it to adulthood he really does have the self preservation of a fruit fly.” 

The rest of the week was much improved from the horse incident. They ended up waiting to go to the beach because it rained for two days straight. The first morning Sam found Bucky sitting outside in it. He watched from the trailer doorway. “There are better ways to take a shower Barnes.” He made a grunt of acknowledgement but said nothing. He came in a while later and changed into some dry clothes. “Well I guess the beach is a bust what’s the plan?” They spent the day playing board games and talking with the hope that tomorrow would be better. The second day or rain they ended up at a few thrift stores and once it cleared a bit they went to the boardwalk. Bucky whistled as he looked up and down the shore line. “This is a hell of a lot bigger than I expected. Where do we start?” Sam shrugged “Whatever you want to do. Not a lot of people here because of the rain. It’s the ideal time for you to see it.” 

They wandered in a few shops and looked at the games and the rides. Bucky tossed money to a few of the performers that were braving the rain to try and scrounge up some cash. He still had a nice stock pile he had taken from the hydra safe houses he cleared. Not even Steve knew about it. “Did you just give that mime $100?” He looked at Sam “Nope Hydra did.” Sam convinced him to ride the haunted house at least once and they got some pizza to eat before they headed back to the trailer. They didn’t make it to Frontier town before the week was up but they enjoyed their company even if Bucky was left feeling that horses were more horrible than he had once thought. They would be headed to Sam’s Youngest sisters place to visit with her and his mother before they headed back to Dc for two weeks. They spent the last evening at the campfire and Sam came out with a few squares wrapped in foil that he carefully placed on the grate in the fire pit. 

“What’s that?” Sam looked at him “Smores.” Bucky grinned “I didn;t realize you were a girl scout Wilson. Guess that’s why you joined the airforce.”   
“You and I both know Rhodey and Carol would kick your butt if you made that crack around them. Besides everyone makes smores now it’s not just a girl scout thing.” Sam made a few and then suggested they eat them away from the horses to avoid any other incidents. After that they packed up what they could and tossed it in the car resolving to worry about the rest in the morning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While I never had any issue with the ponies at assateague you can easily go online and find reviews of the park and camping areas about people having unfortunate run ins with the horses. the next few chapters are going to be a Little more bonding time between Sam and Bucky.


	20. Ma'am

They pulled up to a small house with a large secluded property that may have once been a farm. A woman came out to meet them. “What took you so long to get here?” He stepped out of the car and gave her a hug “We had to make a stop. Got stuck in traffic for a while and my friend got a bit stir crazy.” She looked over at Bucky and noted the light bruises around his eyes and nose. “What happened to him?” Sam laughed “He tried to save his meal from a horse at Assateague.” She shuddered “I still have a scar from that one that bit me. Horses are horrible. Well, aren't you going to introduce me?”

“Give me a minute I was getting there I was gonna wait till we saw Ma so I could do it all at once.” She gestured to the house and they went inside. There was an older woman sitting at the counter cutting vegetables. “About time you showed up. We were wondering if we would have to eat without you.” He gave the woman a kiss on her cheek. “Ma, Regina, this is James Barnes.” He held his hand out but Regina went straight for a hug. “Sam’s told us so much about you. It’s nice to finally meet you.” He nodded to Mrs Wilson “Nice to meet you Ma’am” She shook her head “Don’t Ma’am me, call me Ma.” Bucky blushed “I’m not sure If I can do that Ma’am.” She patted his hand and chuckled “We will work on it. You look like you’re dealing with a broken heart. I’ve got just the meal for that.” He shot Sam a betrayed look. “He didn’t tell me anything, I know these things. Now Sam,get him settled. We can talk over dinner.”

Regina led them down the hall to the guest rooms. “You guys picked a good week to come. Farm fair is this week. I was planning on going tomorrow night if you want to go.” Sam shrugged “Could be fun.” Bucky got the feeling Regina wanted to speak with Sam alone. “I’m gonna go get cleaned up.” He disappeared into the guest room and closed the door.

“Why are you bringing your work with you?” Sam frowned, “He’s not work. He’s my friend. I promised Steve I would take care of him.” She crossed her arms. “He is the reason you nearly threw your life away. You weren’t there with Ma to see her turn on the tv and see from the news that her son is being arrested for helping a murderer who you now say is your friend and you bring to MY home.” He scrubbed his hands over his face. “He is not a murderer. He was cleared. He is an abused,abandoned POW. He was manipulated and tortured for 70 years. I trusted Steve and He trusts Barnes. Trust me. Spend some time with him. He’s a good guy. He needs some normalcy.”

Bucky curled up on the bed as he listened to Regina. She was right. He was a murderer. No amount of exceptions and excuses could change that. He killed people. Some of them he remembered and others were just nameless bodies in the pile. He would never be anything more than a monster. He could hear a door slam and someone stomp off. He covered his face with the pillow as sobs wracked his body. He wasn’t sure when he fell asleep but he woke up to someone quietly knocking on the door. “Hey, we are almost ready for dinner if you would like to come out.” He looked up at Sam. “I don’t think I’m going to. I...have a headache.” Sam opened his mouth to protest but he nodded instead “Well if you change your mind come on out. Text me if you need anything.”

He woke up again at about 2 am and silently walked to the kitchen for some water. He was startled when the light came on and Sam’s Mom stood in the doorway. “You don’t need to be afraid of me. Sam has told me you have been through a lot. I know my baby did right by protecting you.” He broke as he fell into the chair “I’m so sorry. You almost lost him because of me. I had no right to drag him into everything. He could have been here, home where he needed to be. Not out wasting it all on me.” She pulled a chair up next to him and placed a firm hand on his shoulder. “No one has ever made Sammy do something he doesn’t want to and you should know that by now. I understand that my Gina said some rather hurtful things and you might have heard them. Don’t pay any attention to her. She means well but she lets her mouth go before she puts her brain in gear.”

He looked up at her “She didn’t say anything that wasn’t true. I am a murderer. No matter what way you slice it I killed people. I pulled the trigger,I planted the bombs,and I used my hands.” She rubbed up and down his back. “Sounds like you still have a lot to forgive yourself for.” He shook his head. “There’s nothing to forgive. It won’t change a damn thing. The body count will always be there.” She got up from the table and fixed a glass of water for him. “You don’t forgive to change what happened, you forgive to move on in life. You can’t begin to move on if you are still dragging that weight around. Clearly Sam is able to look past it all. He sees a good man and I believe him.” He took a couple sips of water. “Thank you ma’am, good night.” 

She reached out and grabbed his arm. “Not yet. Eat. You missed a nice dinner.” She was already pulling a plate from the fridge and sticking it in the microwave. “I don’t want to have to beg honey. I promise it won't kill ya. It might put some meat on your bones but it won't kill ya.” He ate the plate of food quietly as she watched over him and once finished he thanked her and got up to go back to his room. “Good night James. Tomorrow is going to be better just wait and see.” 

He woke up a while later to the smell of breakfast cooking and music playing in the kitchen. He got changed and quietly made his way outside. Regina was at the stove swaying with the music as she cooked. Sam and his mother were nowhere to be seen. He didn’t recognize the song playing but he liked it. He stood in the doorway listening and watching until she suddenly turned around. “Oh, I didn’t think anyone was up yet. Um.. breakfast will be done in a bit.” 

He moved closer to the table and sat down cautiously. “Good morning.” She forced a smile on her face.”Good morning. Do you want something to drink? We have tea, coffee, ovaltine..-” He cocked his head “They still make that?” She looked at him “What Ovaltine?” He nodded “Yea...Stevie used to love it when we could afford it. I didn’t think it was still around.” She pulled a canister from the cabinet. “Do you prefer it hot or cold?” He thought for a moment “Hot please.” She nodded and proceeded to pour some milk in the mug and place it in the microwave. “So you really are from the 1920’s? It’s not some weird exaggeration?” 

“Yup. it's true. Was born in 1916. Amazing what science can do ain’t it.” She turned to face him as she cooked. “That must be so weird. To suddenly exist in a world like this.” He shrugged “Weird stopped phasing me when I saw a guy rip his face off and I met a talking racoon.” She cringed “you saw a guy what?” He chuckled “Saw a guy rip his face off. Thought I was having a stroke or something but it was real. You ever heard of Red Skull?” She nodded “yea the bad guy in those hokey movies sam used to watch.” 

“Exactly except- wait movies? What are you talking about?” She turned the heat down on the stove “You don’t know about them?” He shook his head “They made movies based on the comic books and the old movie reels.” Bucky was baffled “Why am I just learning about these?” She shrugged “not sure, you can find clips of them on youtube and I’m sure Sam still has the movies we could set the VCR up later if you like.” She pulled out her phone and brought up a few videos the first dated 1943. The film was grainy and old “Oh...my...god...is that..STEVE?!?” She chuckled “As far as I know yes that's the man himself.” 

He couldn’t stop the giggles as he watched Steve stomp around a movie set and “rescue” a damsel from Hitler all while singing about war bonds. “The Smithsonian failed to mention this.” She smiled “I think they wanted to preserve some of his dignity.” Bucky snorted “Well he definitely lost it here.” The clip ended and she found one from a few decades later, 1960’s. He watched as the clip showed “Captain America” saving the day from Red Skull. As he punched goon after goon each hit was covered by words on the screen describing the sounds. She took the phone and put it back in her pocket. “I’m sure Sam will show you the rest.” 

As if he knew they were talking about him Sam appeared in the room a moment later. “Morning. Surprised to see you two up already.” They both shrugged “I figured I would let Ma sleep in since she took care of dinner last night.” Sam sat down at the table “How’s the headache?”   
“Better thanks. Regina said to ask you about some old movies you used to watch.” Sam grinned “You asking about the Captain america movies?” He nodded “yea that would be it.” Sam laughed “Steve never showed them to you?” He shook his head “Nope although I saw some clips I can see why.” Sam was still grinning “Oh well now I have to show you. We can dig them out after breakfast.” 

He grabbed Bucky’s cup and took a drink expecting it to be coffee. He quickly spit it in out. “Are you drinking chocolate milk?” He took the mug back and crossed his arms “It’s Ovaltine for your information.” Regina rolled her eyes “Get off your ass and get your own coffee Sam.” He nodded as he pulled out a cup and began to fix his own. “Seriously though you are supposedly the world's toughest assassin, sorry ex-assassin and you are drinking ovaltine?” He nodded “It’s good. Me and Stevie used to save up for it. He loved drinking it when he was sick.” Sam smiled “I love how you do that.”   
“Do what?”  
“When you have a memory about Steve before he got the serum you call him Stevie. You do it when you are worried about him too. It’s cute.” Regina raised an eyebrow “The stevie you were just telling me about was Steve Rogers? I mean now it’s kinda obvious but it’s hard to think of him when you say Stevie.” Bucky nodded “That’s because the Stevie I’m talking about was tiny and barely 90 lbs soaking wet. Stevie is a tiny little punk with a chip on his shoulder ready to take on the world or die trying. Steve is a giant punk with a chip on his shoulder ready to take on the world and die trying or give me a heart attack in the process at least. Two sides of the same stupid coin.” Sam laughed “He does have his moments doesn’t he.” 

Sam's mother appeared in the kitchen a moment later. "Good morning good morning we've talked the whole night through" at this she patted Bucky's cheek "good morning good morning to you." He couldn't hide the smile. "Nothin could be grander than to be in Louisiana." She wrapped him in a hug "Oh I could just eat you up. Polite and cultured."   
"Good morning ma'am" she rolled her eyes and roughed his hair up. "I said don't ma'am me. Call me Beatrice." She husked as she wiggled her eyebrows seductively. 

"MA! No.Down." Regina hauled her into a chair and gave her a look while Sam was quietly short circuiting. Bucky grinned "Well alright then Beatrice it is or i could call you Bea." She began to fan at herself as she cackled "oooooh I like this one can we keep him?" Sam groaned "Barnes I swear don't you so much as look at my mom sideways." He threw his head back and laughed. "Worried you might have to call me daddy Wilson?"  
"Oh if he won't i will!" Regina choked on her breakfast "MA! Stop makin a fool of yourself."

Breakfast was full of talking and a bit of bickering between Regina and Bea but it was nice. Bucky sat quietly taking it all in as Sam glared at him occasionally. They helped clean up and then Sam took him to the basement to look for the Captain America tapes. He grinned when Sam opened a box with his name on it at right in the top was a tattered and worn Bucky bear. "Aw Sam you do care." He quickly shoved the bear out of sight trying to pretend it didn't exist. "Not another fuckin word barnes.


	21. Dance partner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mentions of assult.

They spent the afternoon watching all the Captain America movies. He laughed at how cheesy they all were. As hard as it seemed to be they just got worse. "Wow these are garbage." Sam laughed "yea they are but only if you know the man himself. I loved these as a kid." 

Gina came into the room "get ready to go to the fair. Ma's coming with us. We'll just eat there tonight." They nodded and got up from the couch. Gina quickly stopped Bucky "James….I'm sorry for what I said. I just worry about Sam. He sometimes gets himself hurt trying to save others. I hope you can forgive me." He nodded "You didn't say anything untrue. Besides, I know what it's like to protect someone. If we don't look out for them who will."

They got in the car and headed through the small little town and then down a dirt road where they came to a clearing. There were stalls and rides set up and a few tents. They got out and walked around the 4-H booths and looked at the petting zoo. Something made Bucky look over towards the carnival area. They had some clowns wandering around and balloon animal artists. Something about one of the clowns just bothered him but he was just standing around so he just assumed his general dislike of clowns was the cause.

He was currently walking with Bea’s arm linked with his. She was pulling him all over to see things. Finally when it came time for dinner she led him over to a stall. “You have to try the Catfish my church makes.” Sam shot him a look and he frowned. “I can’t. Fish makes me sick.” She patted his arm. “That’s fine we have plenty to choose from.” He nodded “I’m kinda thinking about a corn dog.” He walked toward a booth and Gina stopped him. “NOT from them. See if someone else has it.” He cocked his head “Something wrong? Old ex you want to avoid?” He now noticed none of them were laughing. Sam gestured to the sign “Read the group name and google it bro. You don’t want to give them your money.” 

He settled on a burger from another booth and sat down with everyone pulling his phone out to google the group. He paused as he scanned the page. “Sam….you telling me a neo nazi group is just casually selling corndogs at a fair and no ones got beef with that?” They looked around. “The people that do are….a minority. Dad learned the hard way to just deal with it quietly. So we don’t buy from them and we encourage others not to as well. Everyone knows but it's one of those “They don’t do anything mean to me” problems and no matter how many times you tell them well duh you are their favorite color it doesn't stick. People are Idiots.” He nodded in agreement. Despite that they enjoyed their food. He reached over and grabbed some of Sam’s fries mostly to see what he would do. He laughed when he practically squawked at him. “Calm down Sammy I’ll get some more later and you can share. Want to play some games? I bet I can smoke you at a few of them.” Gina Smiled. “Ma and I will wait here for you guys ,go have some fun.”

After Bucky had won his third goldfish and handed it off to some random little kid Sam decided it was time to pick a different game. They tried the water gun race. Bucky had been watching that one and saw that the same station won every time meaning it wasn;t the players ability it was who ever was lucky enough to get that spot. He walked over with Sam and took a seat and shrugged. “Not sure how good I will be at this. Never played it before. They waited as the seats filled up for the next game and Sam had a smug look on his face as he felt he would win this for sure. Bucky grinned when his bell sounded first and he picked out a large teddy bear. He got up and walked over to Bea and gave it to her. Sam glared “You knew you were gonna win didn’t you?” He held his hands up “Nope I guess I just got lucky.” 

“Why don’t you kids go on some rides? It’s a pretty night for the ferris wheel.” Sam looked at his mom with a softened expression “Only if you and Gina ride too. Come on, it will be fun.” Bucky purchased some tickets for the ride and they got on. Sam and him in one car and Gina and Bea in the other. They stopped at the top and he looked over the fair. Something by the carnival tent caught his eye. It was the creepy clown from earlier. He was pressed against a trailer with a small struggling body. The car moved forward enough and he could make out what looked to be a barely 14 year old girl. “Sam...I gotta get off.” He looked at him “In a minute dude. I thought you were ok with heights.” He shook his head, eyes locked on the scene. “No I gotta go NOW.” before Sam could stop him he had dropped down onto the car below him and then onto the ticket booth and was bolting across the grounds.

He grabbed the clown around the throat with his left hand holding him up against the trailer as the small girl scrambled to cover herself eyes wide with fear. “dayte mne odnu veskuyu prichinu, po kotoroy ya ne dolzhen potroshit' vas, kak rybu, i natyanut' u dereva kishki.” He heard people behind him “Hey, put the clown down.” He glanced back to see Sam standing there. He tossed the clown against the trailer and let him go. He then took off his jacket and offered it to the little girl. A police officer had finally pushed through the crowd. “Sir I’m gonna need you to come with me.” Bucky planted himself. “Take him first. He needs to keep his filthy hands off children or have them cut off.” Sam cringed as he could hear the heavy Rusian accent that came from Bucky. The cop now put the scene together and nodded. “Well, I’m gonna need all three of you to come then.” He took the little girl by her hand as the Cop cuffed the clown and drug him to his feet. He looked over at Sam. “Sorry. I’ll call you when they are done with me.” 

They rode in a car seperate from the clown to the station. The little girl sat in the front seat while Bucky sat in the back. She hadn’t spoken a word the entire time. When they arrived at the station the girl's parents were waiting at the desk for her. Bucky smiled at the thought of a happy reunion but was greeted by her parents exchanging frustrated glances. “We told you NOT to wear that skirt to the carnival. Look what happens when you don’t listen to your father and I.”  
“HEY! Skirt or not she's a child NO ONE has the right or invitation to her body.” They looked over at him. “I’m sorry do we know you?” He shook his head “No but she could have been a lot worse off if I hadn’t jumped in. Clothes are NOT an open invite. If you firmly believe that you are no better than the clown I tore off her.Hold her close then tell her how thankful you are she’s safe. Tell her it's going to be ok but for the love of god DON’T EVER say she did it to herself because no one ever does.” The cop quickly ushered him into another room to get his statement leaving the girl with her parents. 

“So you’re not from around here. What brings you to town?” He took a deep breath “I’m here with my friend. We are visiting his mother and sister.” He nodded “Ok , who is this friend?”   
“Sam Wilson. I..I don’t know the address of the house we are staying at but I can call him up here.” He shook his head “No..no that’s not necessary we know the Wilsons. You caused quite a panic jumping off the ferris wheel.” He shrugged “I couldn’t wait for us to hit the ground. He would have gotten a lot farther in that time. As it stands he got further than he should have.” The cop nodded “well that’s why we are hired to keep an eye on things. Next time call for help don;t take matters into your own hands.” He chewed the inside of his cheek to keep from mouthing off. There was a knock on the door and the girl poked her head in. “I wanted to return his jacket.” Bucky looked at her still in the torn shirt. “Do you have something else to cover up with? If not keep it. It’s not a big deal.” She hesitated “My parents said to give it to you.” She hung it on the door knob and left. “She has nothing to be ashamed of.” The cop looked at him but said nothing. After a few minutes he stood up. “Your ride is waiting for you, let's go.” He was relieved to see Sam waiting at the desk for him. 

The ride home was quiet. Gina had taken them home and Sam got his car to come get him. “Man, I was sure you were gonna be spending the night in jail. Mom was ready to collect money for your bail.” He laid back in the seat. “Not gonna lie I was thinking that too. They seemed perfectly content to let that little girl get assaulted.” Sam shook his head “Sleepy place like this they don;t appreciate someone coming in and doing their job better than them. I uh.. Couldn't help notice you kinda slipped into…”  
“Kill mode. I know. I couldn’t help it. Thank you for stopping me. I did almost kill him.” Sam was quiet for a while. “What did you tell him?” Bucky chuckled as he thought about it. “I said give me one good reason I shouldn't gut you like a fish and string you up by your intestines from a tree.” Sam laughed “Yea we had a feeling it was something like that.” 

When they got back to the house Bea and Gina were sitting on the porch waiting for them. “Thank goodness they didn’t keep you. They were more upset when you stepped in than about what happened to the poor little girl. Come on let’s go inside and have some tea.” Bea put on some old records and they sat and talked for a while. Bucky was learning some rather unsavory things about the people Sam's mother lived around. “Why do you tolerate this?” She shrugged “Honey it’s everywhere I’ve been. We learn how to deal with it.” He frowned. “That's not right Steve and I fought and died fighting shit like this and to see it still happening right under everyone's noses every damn day.” She placed a hand on his. “We don’t let them get what they want. We keep living and thriving and doing right by everyone no matter who they are. No it’s not a damn bit fair but it’s better knowing that we can make things better.” She stood up and took his hand. “Do you dance Sergeant?” Gina rolled her eyes. “Not in a long time Ma’am.” She grinned and pulled him close. “It’s just like breathing. Come here.” She wrapped an arm around his waist as they swayed to a song he didn’t know. He closed his eyes as she hummed along to the melody. 

Gina leaned over and whispered to Sam “Is he that touch starved?” He let out a sigh. And gestured to the porch so they could talk. “It’s been a long time since he’s known a caring touch and he just went through a kinda rough breakup. He is a mess. I mean he’s come really far in the last year alone but he’s still struggling with people.” She looked up at the stars “Who was she?” He paused “the break up? That’s complicated. She..they...are Thor’s sibling. Someone who is just as damaged in the people and emotions department. Seemed like they hit it off well too but some kind of misunderstanding happened and they responded the only way they knew-”  
“They ran.” He nodded “Yup. Loki ran all the way to New mexico.” She shook her head “Jeez. Sorry I was so mean to him yesterday.I should have thought before I spoke.” He wrapped an arm around her. “Its ok. We are all human. Just, cut him some slack. How about we take him on a picnic tomorrow. He likes to be outside. It will be nice. We can go to that place that you like." She smiled "that would be nice. We have to go to the grocery store too. Perhaps he and Ma can pack up a picnic and you and I can go to the store. I don't think he should be in town tomorrow after all the excitement tonight."  
"Yea that sounds like a good plan. Man it's weird going this long with him and not havin Steve check in. I mean it's good to give him some more independence but it's still strange."

They moved back inside to see Bucky and Bea dancing. Bucky was now swinging Bea around like they were a couple kids and not a woman in her 70's and a 100 some year old soldier. When the music stopped Bucky was drenched in sweat and Bae dropped onto the couch panting. Sam grabbed two glasses of water and brought them over. "Don't break my mama, she's the only one I got." 

He smiled as he joined her on the couch. "She's a good partner. Haven't done that in almost a hundred years." He patted her thigh and looked over at her. "Thanks for the dance doll." Bea began to giggle as she playfully swatted at him. "Sam you have been holdin out on me,are all your other friends this charming?" Sam rolled his eyes "I can't say for sure. Steve's a perfect gentleman though."  
"Stevie would like your mom Sam. Course I think she'd like me more than him by comparison." She grinned "what are we using for scale?" She slid her hand further up his leg and he blushed a bit. 

Gina sighed "ok you two need to simmer down before Sam has a stroke." This elicited giggling from both of them as they made several comments about why she would like him better than Steve. She got up and kissed his cheek. "Good night Jimmy. I think you've worn me out for the night." Sam smirked at him "jimmy? She just called you Jimmy. You almost put a knife in Clint when he called you that." Bucky shrugged and said with a smirk "with an ass like hers she can call me fido for all I care." 

"I swear you are doing this to bother me."   
"I was this morning but now it's kinda genuine. I'm not talkin' anything serious. I just…..like her company. She gets that I think." Sam sat down with him. "Just don't go doing something neither of you are ready for."  
"I'll do my best with that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all that have left kudos and comments. I have at lease one more chapter planned for their visit with Sam's family.   
> Thanks for reading and if you are quarentined like many of us are take care of yourselves.


	22. Picnic fail

Sam woke up to music playing in the kitchen. He wandered out to find his mother and Bucky side by side at the counter singing along with minnie the moocher. He stood in the doorway and smiled as they moved along with it. He quietly pulled out his phone and recorded it to send to Steve. Gina came up behind him and leaned her chin on his shoulder.

"They seem happy. Just saying. I don't think it will go far but you know how lonely she's been since Dad passed. I mean she does stuff at church but she doesn't always connect with them. I say let them have their fun." 

She walked into the kitchen and grabbed coffee cups for everyone. "So Sam and I were thinking it's a good day for a picnic. We figure you guys could make some food and he and I will go get a few more groceries. Sound good?"

Bucky was moving food to the table and smirked "you trust me alone with your mom?" Gina smiled "I think she can handle you. Besides I think it's a good idea if you don't make another appearance in town right now." They all agreed on that. 

Once breakfast was finished everyone got to work with their tasks. Bucky did whatever Bea asked him to do. He chopped things up, he got her basket out of the attic and he pulled chairs from the basement. He was surprised when a box fell over and a picture fell out. A group of older men but one stood out in particular. He picked it up and took it up stairs.

"How did you know Gabe?" Bea looked over and saw him with the picture and smiled. "My father worked with him during the Korean war. I met him once or twice before he passed. Nice man. My father spoke the world of him. Gabe spoke about both of you. He would give talks at schools about the importance of diversity and working together. Who would have thought all these later I would be in the presence of another Howling commando." Bucky couldn't help the tears as he hugged the picture a little. "God I miss them so much." 

She came over and pulled him into a hug. "I know it must be hard. At least you still have Steve. Just let it all out. It's ok." She guided him out to the couch and sat down with him patting his back as his tears dampened her shoulder. "You poor thing. Have you been holding onto this hurt all this time?" He nodded his head and coughed " I'm sorry. I shouldn't be unloading my emotional baggage on you. You didn't sign up for that."

She pulled out a handkerchief and wiped his face. "I will never turn away someone who needs space to grieve. You can't take care of yourself if you are worried about others and how they see you." He pulled her tight into a hug and kissed the top of her head. "Thank you for being kind to me."

It took about an hour to get to the place Gina wanted to go. It was out of the way but nice. There were a few picnic tables around and some hiking trails but that was it. Not another person to be seen. They set lunch up at a table in the shade. Sam was telling him about the different trails and mentioned one went to the beach and one went to a cave. Gina suggested they check out the cave and then they could go to the beach. 

They were cleaning up lunch and horsing around when Sam shoved him a little too hard and he stumbled into the bushes. "Damn it Sam." He was immediately alerted to a sharp sting in his side. Sam froze "dude….freeze. please tell me you got a knife on you." He nodded "good cuz you're sittin on a copperhead. Any chance you can get it off your side?" He was listening to Sam but he couldn't focus. His arms felt heavy and his face wasn't letting him form words. He saw Sam lurch forward as he felt another sharp pain in his right hand. Without thinking he smashed his left arm down and felt something squish underneath. 

"Gina, help me move him. God why did he have to find the only copperhead in Delaware. Steve is gonna murder me. Ma call 911, tell them we are heading to the hospital." Bucky could hear them panicking but he couldn't do anything. He couldn't move, he couldn't talk and he couldn't breath. He began to panic and he felt someone grab his hand. He couldn't see very well. He slowly faded out as he felt someone's hands on his back.

He woke up and noticed the tube in his throat. Sam was in the chair talking to someone. He was surprised to see Tony standing in the room. "Hey there he is. He lives to fight another day huh? Don't worry. We can cover the med bills just keep me posted if you need anything else. Get better Frosty." Sam got up and looked at him. "Man we thought we lost you. Been out for almost two days. Stark came out to make sure they were able to care for you properly here he also brought the anti-venom in. I'll go get a doc so they can unhook you from some of this stuff. Maybe you can get outta here tomorrow. Probably gonna stay with Gina and Ma an extra week. You can't travel like this."

He disappeared out the door and returned with a doctor and a nurse. They checked his vitals and a few other things and they slowly unhooked a few things and removed the tube in his throat. "Mr. Barnes, you have about two weeks to recover from this. You will experience pain at the bite areas for at least the next 7 days. The swelling will probably last for about two weeks. The discoloration should go away in time but the bites will scar. We will keep you for one more night and hopefully let you go in the morning but you will be on bed rest and medication." 

They walked out and he looked at Sam. "What happened?" He sat at the edge of the bed. "When you fell, you landed on a copperhead. It couldn't get out from under you so it panicked and bit you a few times. You seriously cheated death. You coded several times while they tried to get you settled. I'll let ma know you're awake. She's been asking about you."

The next morning after a little arguing from Sam he was discharged after they ran a few more tests. His right arm was still at least twice its normal size and his torso was lumpy down to his hip. He had meds for pain and meds for his blood pressure and some to make him sleep if he needed it. Sam helped ease him into the car. 

"I could have been out of here sooner if they didn't take more blood." Sam looked at him. "They shouldn't have taken more blood. Tony explicitly said no. Let me take a look at those discharge papers." He scanned the documents and frowned. "I don't like this. The blood work order is not in your paperwork. Let's get you home I'll call Stark. Good thing I put my address on there and not moms." 

Gina helped settle him in bed giving him a few extra pillows for his arm. Bea was running her hands through his hair and talking to him quietly. He had just taken the meds as he was instructed. He could feel Bea's hand move down his face and to his neck she was then suddenly gone.

"Sam...Are you still talking to Mr. Stark? I think somethings wrong with James. He's clammy and not very responsive. I can barely feel a pulse." Sam held the phone aside "Be right there to check him. You catch that Tony? Yea, I can have him ready to move in an hour." Sam walked in and checked his vitals. "I don't understand. It's been days. Besides he's a super soldier. It takes a lot to keep him down long." He checked his body for any sign of missed bites or things that looked out of place but found nothing. "Ma, I don't want to alarm you but I think you and Gina might want to disappear for a bit. This whole thing seems bad. Tony is sending Dr. Banner to take us back to New York. Maybe it would be a good idea if you visited the family?" 

Bea frowned. "Sam...let me come with you. I can help. I wouldn't feel right just….dropping him." He nodded "ok. Go pack what you need. You comin' Gina?" She shook her head "no, I owe some friends a visit. I'll call them up, I can be gone by tonight." She gave him a hug. "Take care of them."

Bruce arrived with Happy in tow. "How is he?"   
"In and out. Lot's of difficulty breathing and slurred speech. His blood pressure is really low too. It's like the poison is hitting him all over." Bruce began checking him. "You are sure he was stable at the hospital?"  
"Yea that's why he was discharged."   
"Hmm well i have a few running theories. Steve and I both found the serum isn't built for venoms or nerve agents. It's part of how we handle the Hulk. Perhaps he's still struggling through and the anti-venom burned through his system before it could clear things up. Let's get him back to the tower." 

Happy walked back in. "Boss had me set a perimeter. If anyone that isn't authorized steps foot here Friday's gonna get an alert and start filming." Sam gave Gina one last hug. "Take care. Call me when you're settled." She hugged her mom and they said goodbyes. Sam patted Bucky as they took off "we're gonna get you home."


	23. Mama bear

They weren't gone an hour when Friday interrupted. "Boss is sending a feed through."  
The house was swarmed with what Sam was pretty certain were Hydra agents. They swept the house, checked Sam's car and left as fast as they appeared. "Good thing we got out when we did." They heard a groan from behind. Bucky was trying to sit up but Bruce stopped him. "Easy. You're in the jet. We are heading home. Hydra just swept through the house so we left in time."   
"Time for my meds Sam." Bruce got the pills out and read the labels. "Maybe I should run a scan on these. I've never seen a gel pain pill like this and while I know he's a super soldier the dosage is a bit high for my comfort. I'm gonna give him something else."

Bucky slumped forward a bit. "Gon' thro' up" Bruce quickly moved a basin to his lap. "Jeez. I'm not liking this. I'm not giving him any meds I didn't mix. Happy, have Friday check the hospital records. Someone there is Hydra."  
"They could have also found him from the request for anti venom. Hospital had to call in for it. They had to give personal info. I also have a sneaking suspicion someone from the police department tipped them off." Bea shook her head.

"Wouldn't surprise me a bit especially since they wanted James practically locked up but couldn't find a reason. He paid a fine and walked out but they weren't too happy about it." Bruce scrubbed his hands over his face "What did he do?"  
"He stopped a clown from assaulting a child." Happy looked back at them from the controls "He what?" Sam smirked "damn near gave us a heart attack too. He spotted it while we were on the ferris wheel and he dead ass jumped out and went after the dude and the cops were upset with him. Not the skeez who grabbed a little girl and ripped her clothes off."

Happy shook his head. "I will never understand people. We'll be back at the tower in about 30 minutes if you wanna make sure he's good to move. How ya feelin Barnes?" He turned his head a little "been better,been a hell of a lot worse." Happy turned to face forward "That's the spirit." Bruce rolled his eyes. "So Mrs. Wilson are you planning on staying in the tower?" She looked over at Sam who shrugged "seems like a good idea. Bucky has a spare bed in his room and I can take his couch. I wouldn't feel right sending her off to a hotel. Is Tony ok with that?"  
"I don't think it will be an issue." She laced her fingers with Bucky's metal hand. "Good because I have two boys to spoil rotten this week." Bruce smiled but said nothing until Bea grinned at him "always room for a third Dr. Banner." Happy snorted loudly. "Tony would adore her." Sam groaned "I've already got one person flirting with her, everyone else back off." 

"Aw Sam you do care. For future reference I would rather not be called pop."  
"And I'm the only one to call him daddy." Bea began to cackle as Bruce turned a deep shade of red and Sam looked close to melting. "Aw come on Sam we are just teasin. I ain't gonna make any moves on your Ma she's just a fun gal to be around."  
"You need someone your own age." He snorted "only one guy in my age range and he aint interested and the even older ones didn't seem to work out for me. It's only a 35 year age difference. We're both adults." Sam cringed, "please stop talking."  
"Oh yea Tony would adore her."

Back at the Tower they settled Bucky back into bed and Bruce gave him new meds while he waited for the analysis of the old. He came back a while later to find Bea had made herself at home and was feeding Bucky pie. "Hope I'm not intruding. I just got the labs back. The gel pills had more venom in them. If you had kept taking those you would have been unable to stop Hydra from grabbing you. The other two pills were a placebo. Good thing you caught that or we might be making some pretty tough phone calls right now. Where's Sam?"  
"He went out for a run, said he needed some air." Bruce noted the devilish smile Bucky wore. "Ok well if he has questions tell him to call me. I'll give you guys some space."

Bucky didn't realize the pie was gone until Bea got up from her spot. "Did I really eat the whole thing?" She returned with a plate of sandwiches and chuckled "you sure did. I like 'em with a healthy appetite. Good thing Friday was very helpful in telling me your favorite foods. If you say you're hungry while I'm here somethings wrong. By the way… I couldn't help but notice something in your closet."

His attention was drawn back to Steve's birthday present. "Oh...yeah...um...it's a gift for Steve. Back before the war we couldn't afford much and I learned to make alcohol. Lots of people did. We even did it during the war. It's mostly a gag gift since he pretty much can't get drunk but he's a sucker for nostalgia so I followed a few youtube videos and set up a still in my closet. Which reminds me, I gotta tell Clint I won't need him to pick it up since I'm here." He pulled his phone out and texted him and grabbed a sandwich from the tray. "You're gonna fatten me up the next two weeks aren't ya." 

The next two weeks did see a quite noticeable change in Bucky. Every chance she had Bea was feeding him and he was eating it. Bruce noticed the change as they were mapping the progress of his swelling. His side was much better and his arm was starting to look normal in size and color. Bruce was finally able to give him a clean bill of health.

"You sure about that doc? Seems to me I'm still a bit puffy." Bruce couldn't hold back the laugh "That is not from the snake bite that is from Bea. Every time I'm checking on you she's feeding you something. It's good to see you fill out a bit." He blushed "she does take care of me." Tonight was her last night in New York. He and Sam would be leaving for the lake in the morning and the thought made him honestly sad. 

He got back into his apartment to find her busy cooking. He walked over to the counter and wrapped his arms around her. "Gonna miss you when you're gone." He gently kissed the top of her head. "You should stay here with me." She turned and tilted his head down "Baby you and I both know that's not something I can do. That doesn't mean I won't come visit or that you can't come visit me but we are both using each other to fill an empty hurt in our souls. You have a lot more ahead of you to settle down with me. I've had my love and made my life with him and I enjoy being close with you but it can't go any further than where it's at now."

He frowned a bit but didn't let go "yeah...I guess I get that. I mean I'd still love to have you around. I don't get home cooked meals often. I do love the way you hold me when we dance. You aren't even afraid of my arm. I don't want you to feel like anything I said or did wasn't genuine cuz it sure was but I respect your choice even if it stings a bit." She kissed his cheek and pulled him closer. "That's my daddy bear." He chuckled as he took a step back "does that mean you're my mama bear?" She grinned "Always, now go get washed up and find Sam dinners about done."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im sure we will see Bea again. Thanks for reading :) if your reading


	24. love handles

The next morning they made breakfast and packed Bruce's van to head toward the lake. Bucky was in his room putting on something other than pajamas for the first time in two weeks. As he pulled up his jeans he struggled to get them past his knees. "Any suggestions here Friday?" He huffed as he laid back on the bed. "At the moment it may be ideal for you to borrow some pants from either Bruce or Clint." 

"What about Steve?" There was a long pause from Friday. "James my scanners show you have gained nearly 80 lbs in the last two weeks. You actually have an ass to fill out a pair of pants now." He rolled his eyes and looked at the mirror. "Damn. Ok um I'll borrow from Clint. Thanks Friday." 

When he finally joined them for breakfast Sam handed Bruce twenty bucks. "He said you were held up by a wardrobe malfunction. Take it you filched some of Steve's jeans?" Bruce snorted as Bea filled their plates. "I'm pretty certain he is barely making it in a pair of Clint's jeans." He glared but didn't argue. Once they were done breakfast They were taking Bea to the airport and then they would be on their way. Bea placed two containers in Bucky's lap. "The top is a Strawberry pie for you and the bottom is a chocolate walnut cake for Captain Rogers." She gave both him and Sam a hug and a kiss and headed for her flight. Sam smiled "I guess you are good for each other."

When they arrived at the lake the Jet was already landed nearby and he saw Morgan and Peter running around in the yard with Clint's boys. Lila was sparring with Nat as Steve and Laura carefully watched them. They piled out of the car and walked over. Clint did a double take when he looked over at Bucky. "Damn dude what happened to you?"  
"My mother is what happened to him." Steve was now looking him over "you look good Buck." He pulled him into a hug "damn straight I do."

Natasha came over and immediately grabbed a handful of him on either side. "You fill out Clint's dad jeans better than he ever did."   
"Oh shit those are MY jeans? Damn how much weight did you pick up?" Bruce had joined them now "Friday said he picked up nearly 80 lbs in the last two and a half weeks." Steve shook his head "what was she feeding you?" Sam snorted "what wasn't she feeding him. He was pretty much taking it easy for two weeks straight and she had a captive audience to cook for not that he seemed to mind since she had Friday tell her all of his favorite foods." Steve grinned "I'll have to thank her. So how's the snake bites?"

Bucky held up his arm for Steve to inspect the discolored scars. "Still a little tender but otherwise ok. Had the best nurse I could ask for the last two weeks." Sam rolled his eyes "He means my mother." Steve laughed "yea I got your messages. I told you he could charm the pants off any gal." Bucky shrugged "I tried we settled on a blow job." Sam froze "No...no ...you... take that pack dough-boy…" Clint was howling as he watched Sam self-destruct "relax Sam I would never ask that of your mom but just remember I'll eat ANYTHING she offers me." Steve groaned and shook his head "I think you need to ease back Buck."  
"I'll say he does. That's still my mama he's talking about."

Tony and Pepper had now come out along with Happy and May. "Great looks like the gangs all here. Barnes…..jeez you...you have a shape now. Damn you fill out those jeans." Pepper rolled her eyes. "Glad you guys got in ok. Are you feeling better James? How was Assateague?" He wrapped Pepper in a hug "I'm much better now and it was nice but horses are evil." She grinned "I bet there's a story there." 

They all moved towards the large picnic table. Sam pulled out his phone and showed Steve a few pictures and videos from while he was away. Steve watched the videos of Bucky singing and dancing with Bea and hugged Sam. "That's the most he's acted like himself in so long Sam, thank you for sharing your family with him." He patted him and pried him off. "Don't get all sappy on me. I'm glad he opened up a bit more. I think you guys gotta cook with him more. He's able to see what's in the food and he's making good connections to meals."  
"We can work on that. I'm sure we can make it a better habit." 

The bench creaked a bit when Bucky took a seat between Steve and Happy. Tony looked up and pointed. "I think you better sit on the other side Terminator. Rogers is a solid 350 and Happy isn't that small and I can only reinforce a wooden bench so much." Everyone was as quiet as they waited to see Bucky's reaction. "You callin' me fat Stark?" Tony began to back pedal stumbling over his words in a hasty apology. Bucky responded with a laugh "I'm just messin with ya. Dude I pick up 80 lbs on top of my 195 I'm not mad that things have weight limits. Good thing Sam's mom didn't." The table erupted in a chorus of chiding and Pepper was glad the kids were occupied with the tree fort Tony built. Bucky moved to the other side sitting down by Clint and Natasha. 

Natasha continued to play with him while they all talked and ate. He quietly leaned close to her. "Doll you're drivin my crazy doing that. I can't take much more teasin'." She smiled and squeezed around his waist one more time. "Who says I'm teasing? It's a good look for you and I'm up for a little fun if you are." He wrapped an arm around her "you tell me when and where and I'll be there doll."

His phone lit up as she texted him  
"Hammock after everyone's asleep?" He grinned at the message and responded "I like your thinking but how about the jet? Gotta consider the kids in the tree fort." She grinned back at him. "good thinking. I'll bring a few extra blankets."

It took everyone a few hours to cool down and head to bed. In that time Nat found every excuse to have her hands on him. It was driving him crazy. He saw her creep out to the jet and after a few minutes he followed only to see Clint and Laura at the kitchen table. "So…..a bit past your bedtime isn't it?" He froze in the doorway "Understand that there is NO attachment here. This is 100% physical." He nodded "Are you here to protect me or her?" They both looked at each other "I think a little of both James. We just want to be sure you know what she's asking of you." Clint looked out the window "She's very….rough and controlling. She will start off sweet just know when she flips the switch all bets are off." He nodded and quickly made his way outside. Laura leaned on Clint's shoulder "she's gonna eat him alive." He grinned at her "and he's gonna love it. It will be fine but I bet he's gonna feel it in the morning."

Bucky found Natasha waiting for him in the jet wearing nothing but a silk robe. He was practically drooling as he moved closed. She stood up and placed a hand on his chest. "Heel boy, we do this by my rules. What I say goes do it or get out. Safe word is Captain." He smirked "real cute Nat. Never gonna let go of the fact that I-"

Before he could finish she had him pinned down getting his clothes out of the way as fast as possible. Everything after that was a blur. He woke up the next morning still in the jet and Steve looking him over. "Clint sent me to check on you. He said Nat um….blew off some steam last night." He groaned as he sat up. There were several hickeys and other marks on his torso. "Damn guess I'm not going shirtless today. She was…..an animal Steve." He nodded "yea, I've heard stories. She knows what she wants and she will get it. I told everyone we went for a run so you weren't doing a walk of shame." He changed into the clothes Steve brought. "Thanks. God damn...I think she tried to screw me to death. I don't even remember what happened last night but she hit all the right notes." Steve grinned "I will give the serum credit it does make sex amazing." Bucky nodded "speaking of which now that you're ya know here have you had the pleasure with anyone?" He laughed "nope. I didn't really feel the need. Guess I got my fill of USO flings. I've had my fun but hey you keep havin' yours." They headed back to the cabin laughing and talking about times past and a few one night stands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading. hope everyone is being safe right now.


	25. Together with my best guy

The next few days were full of games and other silliness. Bucky couldn’t keep the Cake from Steve because the minute he brought it from the car he smelled it. He practically stalked him to the house until he placed it on the table. “Yes Steve, it’s for you. Compliments of Sam’s mom.” He smiled when he opened up the box. “Is this a chocolate walnut cake?” He laughed “I’m pretty sure you already know that answer but yeah it is.” He looked around at everyone doing their own things and smiled. “Wanna watch the sunset from the roof? You can bring your cake. I’m gonna bring my pie.” 

Steve watched as Bucky opened a second box with a huge pie inside. “No wonder you picked up weight if she fed you like that.” He softly punched his shoulder. “When you eat that cake you will know EXACTLY why I ate everything she handed me.” He smiled and grabbed some forks “Ok I guess we can disappear for a little bit.” 

Bucky grabbed a pillow and they headed to the upstairs balcony and then climbed onto the roof. Steve took one bite of his cake and moaned. “Damn Steve it’s a cake, calm down.” He laughed “No I will enjoy my cake how I want to. If this is the kind of food you have been eating I want in. This gives my ma a run for her money. This cake is better than sex.” He rolled his eyes “I wouldn’t go that far but it’s pretty damn close. Here try the pie.”

They sat and watched the sun go down over the lake as everyone goofed off on the ground around them. He leaned against Steve and closed his eyes. It had been a while since they had a moment like this. It reminded him of the days where they would sit on the fire escape. Back then Steve fit perfectly against him, now the role was reversed but there was still room for him. There would always be room for him in Steve’s world. He was quickly alerted to the sound of firecrackers from behind the house. 

They collected plates and hopped down to find Clint giving the kids a safety lesson for handling fireworks as he handed them all a sparkler. “Are you really the one for this job Clint?” He looked over at Steve “Well seeing as though Captain America was too busy on the roof Demolishing cake with his boyfriend yes, I am the one for the job.” Steve smiled and wrapped an arm around Bucky’s waist “What can I say I don’t get many chances to have my best guy all to myself.” Bucky couldn’t help the blush. “Awwwww Steve you made him blush. Ain't that the cutest.” 

He swatted Clint away. “Shuddup. Go bother your wife.” He lit another firecracker and tossed it in the air. “I would but it seems the ladies have formed their own little club and I’m not allowed. So, you excited for your birthday tomorrow Cap not every day you turn 106?”   
“Yea I am though technically I’m 36 if you discount the 70 years on ice. It will be nice to celebrate with everyone. For once I actually feel like celebrating.” 

The next morning Bucky slipped into Steve’s room and carefully waited on the floor by his bed. He knew his alarm would go off at 6 because he was “sleeping in” that morning so he quietly moved to disable it. His plan was to wake him with the noise maker he brough. As his hand reached for the phone Steve quickly grabbed him by the wrist and hauled him onto the bed into a bear hug. “Morning Buck” He smiled. “Happy birthday. This ain’t weird for you?” He held him a little tighter. “Buck we practically shared a bed my entire childhood and young adult life. Hell we shared a tent in the army. Besides I miss this. Thor’s the only one that would ever...ya know cuddle.” He repositioned on the bed. “Really you tried to replace me with Thor?” 

“I wouldn’t use the phrase replace buuuut at least he was comfortable enough to do it and not make it awkward. People nowadays can’t seem to cuddle just for some affection it’s always gotta be sexual. For a group that's so open about everything else you would think platonic cuddles would be a thing. I mean Clint and Natsha do it all the time and so does Tony and Rhodey and when he’s not around Bruce but no one..-”  
“Wants to cuddle Captain America. Shit Stevie I would have been cuddling ya for the last year if I had known. Ya gotta communicate.” He smiled as Steve blushed a bit. “I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. I know you are very selective about who touches you.” 

“What the hell made you think you were suddenly not allowed. Shit Steve you and I have done things together that I bet some married couples don’t share. I taught you to kiss with my own mouth. You and I experimented together when we had ideas. There’s no goin’ back on that stuff.” They laid together quietly Steve occasionally running his fingers through Bucky’s hair. Suddenly the door swung open and Peter along with Morgan and Clint’s kids came in with a tray. “Happy Birthday!” Lila had a smirk on her face that reminded him of Nat. “Looks like we interrupted something.”  
“We didn’t mean to wake you guys up.” Everyone looked over at Cooper. Yup he was 100% Clint’s flesh and blood. “Are you having mommy and daddy time?” Peter looked down at Morgan, his face red. “Mo! I um...don’t...were you?” 

Steve chuckled “Thanks guys and no. I was just enjoying some time with my best friend. He’s always the first person to wish me happy birthday for as long as I’ve known him.” Peter handed off the tray and the kids all climbed onto the bed as Steve told them stories about him and Bucky growing up together. He answered questions until Nat stepped into the doorway. “Is this where the party is at? Everyone was wondering where the birthday boy was.” Morgan ran up to Nat and smiled “Mr. Steve and Bucky were having mommy and daddy time but then we brought them breakfast.” Stve was doing everything he could to keep his composure. “We were not….doing that..we were just relaxing together.”  
“In the same bed? And neither of you are wearing a shirt. Uh huh….sure.” Nat winked and hearded the kids out of the room. “Come on downstairs. Tony has tons planned for your birthday. Don’t worry I talked him out of the stripper in the cake but if you change your mind maybe we can convince Barnes to do it.” 

When they arrived downstairs for breakfast Tony tossed a handful of confetti at Steve. "Hope you're ready to have fun today old man. We are gonna party like it's 1929." Bucky laughed "you don't want to do that. That was the year Stevie got rheumatic fever and spent his birthday in bed. It worked out though cuz I had the mumps so we were stuck with each other. You wanna pick a year to party like,try 1941, that was a great year. Stevie and I got our hands on a bottle of hooch and…. Whoops can't finish that story in present company. Sam's not nearly old enough." Sam tossed him a glare but it didn't last long as he laughed at Steve picking confetti out of his hair. 

Tony had a full day of food and games planned. He had even hired someone to do a professional fireworks show out on the lake. Bucky couldn't wait for him to open gifts. He really hoped Steve appreciated the whole thing. Clint was the only other person that knew about it. "So you really think he's gonna like a batch of homemade everclear for his birthday?" He smirked as he sat up a bit in the Hammock. "I'm counting on it." He stretched back soaking in the sun a bit. "Becca and I learned to make it when we didn't have much money. I used that skill a lot. Back then you could pay for a lot of things with the stuff. Plus it kept Stevie outta bars which cut back on how many fights he got in. Not by much but enough. By the way Cooper is an oblivious nerd." Clint choked on his beer.

"Why are you calling my kid names?"   
"Because he is an oblivious nerd Clint." Natasha had sauntered up behind him and casually climbed into the hammock with Bucky. "Seriously Clint, the kids found the old folks in a rather compromising way this morning. Even the 6 year old got the hint. Cooper apologized for waking them up." Clint laughed "Oh god Coop. Yea pretty certain he isn't interested in sex at all. Like Nate has had lots of questions and comments but Coop….he took a girl to the movies and she asked him if he wanted to kiss her…. He asked, why would he want to do that during the movie they came to see?" 

Bucky was laughing harder than he expected. "Aw shit Steve did that to a dame. We went on a double date to see Pinocchio and the gal actually liked him but Stevie likes his cartoons more. So I'm of course stealin' a kiss every now and then from my date and her friend eyes Steve up and snuggles real close and asks him for a kiss and he says i thought you wanted to watch a movie. She dumped a coke in his lap and put the popcorn tub on his head. My date left on principal." 

Natasha laughed "That sounds like Steve. He can't spot attraction if you put it on a billboard. Remember that week we all tried to flirt with him just to see what would happen?" Clint began to snicker. "Oh my god yes. Tony came at him with everything short of flat out asking. I don't know who was worse afterward, him or you. You were both so riled up and horny because you were so sure he couldn't resist. From what I recall it worked out very well for Bruce though didn't it." Natasha wore a devilish grin. "Poor guy didn't know what hit him." 

Bucky shook his head. "You gotta be forward with Steve. He doesn't play guessing games. If you don't spell it out he doesn't take it. I know for a fact that he could, if he wanted to, tell some pretty wild stories about his USO days. I will tell you this the Stevie I left at the dock when I shipped out was NOT the Stevie that pulled my ass from a prison camp. Anyone would be lucky to have him." Clint's eyes narrowed "Are you saying you slept with Steve?" Nat rolled her eyes "And you wonder where Cooper gets it from." She hopped up and walked back towards the cabin "dinner's about done then the old man is gonna open presents."


	26. Birthday blast(ed)

While Thor was not able to be at the party he did send a gift for Steve. It was the first one Tony handed him just to get it out of the way. Bucky looked at the bottle in Steve's hands. "Whatsat?" He smiled "This is the only thing that can actually get me drunk." Tony laughed "no that stuff gets you wasted. I distinctly remember the first time you drank it and a very nice house plant that you vomited in." He laughed as Tony recounted Steve being drunk. "Yea despite that I didn't do anything regretful." 

Nat rolled her eyes "that's because Thor played sorority sister with you all night and wouldn't let anything happen. It wasn't for lack of trying. But he put you to bed before we could have any fun with you." Bucky nodded "remind me to thank Thor for that." Steve smiled and opened a few more gifts. Bucky was purposefully saving his gift for last. Tony made the signal for fireworks and he placed the box in Steve's lap.

"Thanks Buck. This one from you? It's kinda heavy." He opened the box and pulled out one of the jars and inspected it. When he opened the jar Tony whipped his head around. "Did you just open up paint thinner? God damn Rogers." He chuckled "Buck did you make this?" He nodded "yea just like old times huh? Had some good times with that stuff." Tony winced "please tell me you didn't actually DRINK that toxic waste." Bucky smiled "we did so did your old man. I traded him for a few nice things with this stuff." 

Steve passed it to Tony. "Try some." Tony took a small swallow and gagged. "I've drank some garbage in my days but THAT is the WORST thing I have ever let in my mouth." He rolled his eyes and handed a jar to Bucky. "Looks like you and I are sharing this." 

After they each finished a jar Steve smiled and grabbed his gift from Thor. By now the kids were in sleep and the adults were having a bit of fun. He took the empty jars filled half with Bucky's everclear and added a bit of Thor's mead. "Thanks for sharing this with me Buck." 

Sam had his phone out. He wanted every single minute of this. Bucky was completely trashed and making every attempt he could to get in Steve's pants. Steve was politely playing hard to get. He was also a little drunk but he could at least walk straight. Tony looked over to see that the everclear was gone as was half of the mead from Thor. 

"The super soldier is gonna be super hungover tomorrow." At that moment Steve stood and wrapped an arm around Bucky. "Les get you in be'. Cmon Buck." He staggered inside with Bucky and headed towards his room. Sam shook his head. "I hope he knows what he's doing." Tony nodded "Friday will step in if needed. I'm sure he's got it."

Steve laid Bucky on the bed and wiped his hair out of his eyes. "You've had 'nough tnight. Sove I. Time fer sleep." Bucky pulled him into the bed and wouldn't let go. "Im octopus. Can get me off easy." Steve smiled and relaxed into his grip. "Gnight Buck."   
"Gnight Stebie happy birday."

Steve's alarm went off at 6 am and Bucky felt like he wanted to die. Steve despite being a bit sluggish compared to normal was humming and awake as he washed up and changed his clothes. He came back into the room and shook Bucky. "Come on. We gotta get ready to go today. We got a long drive back." The thought of moving made him feel ill. He was quickly running towards the bathroom. Tony walked by and heard the noises and poked his head in. "I see someone's dealing with last night's fallout. How you feelin Cap? Barnes was all over you like a lovesick teenager." 

He chuckled "I'm doing ok. Should have kept an eye on Buck. I forget his serum has limitations. I think he's gonna skip out on breakfast. I'll be down in a few." Tony nodded and left. Bucky appeared and crawled into bed. "Tell ya what Buck. Get dressed and I'll put your things in the car. You can lie down until we are ready and then I'll come get you sound good?" He grunted in reply. "Ok. We won't take long."

Steve came back after breakfast and gently plucked Bucky off the bed still wrapped in the sheet. He promised Tony he would return it as he carefully buckled Bucky into the seat. Bruce was gracious enough to turn the music off in the car. "If it helps he can just lie on the seat. He was pretty wrecked last night." Steve nodded and adjusted him so that he was a bit more comfortable.

"I feel bad about it but I haven't had that much fun in a long time. It was even kind of nice to wake up and have to take care of him. Hangovers were the only time I could take care of him before the serum." Bruce smiled "It's nice watching you two care for each other. He really has come out of his shell." Steve nodded "yea. The videos Sam showed me it was like seeing him back in the day. I'm glad to see that side of him." 

They chatted on the drive back to the city while Bucky slept off his hangover in the back. He woke up once on the ride back to get something to eat when they stopped at a diner but outside of that he was dead to the world. When they arrived back at the tower he went straight to his room. Steve came in to check on him. “Buck, you ok?” He found him sitting on the bed. “I don’t know. I feel like I might have embarrassed you.” 

He sat down next to him. “How would you have done that?” He let out a sigh and leaned against him. “I heard what Stark said I was all over you last night. I know how shy you can be about that kind of stuff but I was too drunk and lonely to care.” Steve smiled “Buck, I’m always gonna be there for you when you feel like that. Simple fact is you are stuck with me. If anyone has a problem with what you and I share they can screw off because I didn’t ask them.” He looked at him sheepishly “What do we share? Like what is this?” He shrugged “I think we are still really great friends with occasional benefits. Is that ok with you?” He nodded and wrapped his arms around him “It absolutely is. I guess I just needed to hear you say it out loud.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always thanks for reading. Check out my other works if you like :)


	27. Hydra gets Kree-ative

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heads up as far as this story goes everything ended with the first battle with thanos. No one gets dusted and there is no time heist just to clarify.

Bucky came out to the common floor and heard voices Steve was talking with someone he couldn't quite identify. He was alerted to something pushing past his legs racing into the room. He rounded the corner to see Carol Danvers and the talking raccoon. "Oh hey Buck. You remember Carol and Rocket?" He waved but didn't answer. "Carol dropped by because they got word of a kree on earth selling Hydra weapons on the black market of nowhere." 

"Fun…..if i knew what half that meant." Rocket crossed his arms "It means your Hydra people are branchin out and playin' with things beyond them, that's what it means." He rolled his eyes "sounds typical for Hydra. I'll leave you to it." It was then that an orange cat hopped up on his shoulder and purred in his ear. "Well, looks like Goose approves. I guess he's good to go." He looked at Steve.

"What does she mean I'm good to go?" He smiled a little. "Rocket want's to find the Kree. He thinks maybe they are working through old Hydra bases and you know them better than any of us. We could really use your help. This kree has more information than they should about the team so we need to end this." He nodded. "Am I cleared for this?" He nodded "yes."  
"Ok when do we get started?" Steve patted his back. "Rocket has a location search going, we'll move out as soon as we get a ping."

He headed towards his room and pulled out his gear. He held up the kevlar uniform. There was no way it would fit him now. It was made for an underweight winter soldier. He made a quick phone call and went down to the locker room and grabbed Clint's old uniform. It wasn't his favorite option but at least it was protection. Even Clint's uniform was cutting it a bit close. He rejoined the others and Steve made a face.

"What. I can't go out there in sweatpants and a tshirt can I?" Steve shook his head "No it's just…. I haven't seen that outfit in a long time. Didn't know Clint kept it." He nodded "well it's a good thing he did. It's about the only thing I had to wear." Goose resumed her perch on Bucky. "Ah that's why she warmed up to you so easily. She likes chubby guys. I couldn't see it till now." Rocket snickered "At least he still looks threatening even with the fuller face. Quill never did look threatening especially when he filled out a bit more." 

Bucky crossed his arms. "Do we have a location yet? I'd rather not spend the rest of the day listening to you fat shaming someone." Rocket got quiet as he looked at Bucky. "Not yet jeez don't get your boxers in a knot." There was a small chirp and a map projected from Rocket's wrist. "Here it is." Steve looked at the map. That's near manhattan. I thought we cleared that one." Carol frowned "clearly someone came back. Lets go. Goose wait here ok. Mommy will be back." She gave the cat a small kiss and they left.

The closer they got to the building the worse Bucky felt. He hadn't been cleared for a mission in over a year. Even before that he hadn't really fought since they stopped Thanos in Wakanda years ago. He and Rocket carefully cleared the building checking for traps and cameras. They cleared the room and he signaled Steve and Carol. Despite the building being clear he still felt like someone was watching him. It was then that something struck him from behind and wrapped around his neck like a collar. It prevented him from calling out to Steve as some kind of energy surged through him. He wheeled around to see a petite woman with tattoos and Blue hair smash Carol into the wall like it was nothing and then walk over to him.

"Hey James, long time no see. Interesting companions you're running with these days." He shook his head as he backed away from her. "Vi...vi..vivian? Why?" She shrugged "Why not? Hydra needed a way to expand their reaches and I wanted a new toy. You were so easy to manipulate once I found my in. I hope you like my new toy. Everything Hydra needed from the chair but this is portable. So let's give it a go shall we?" Steve raced forward but was easily stopped by Vivian. Rocket was frantically adjusting something on his gun as he watched over Carol and Steve desperately trying to wake them.

He felt a surge in the energy pulsing through him as it tried to tear away memories. He screamed and fought. Struggling to hold on to Steve and Sam and Nat and every other person he loved so much. He finally felt it all rip away just out of his grasp as the world around him disappeared. 

Steve staggered towards Vivian as his punches landed she could see he had every intention of murdering her. "You leave him alone." She snapped her fingers and sent another wave of energy pulsing through the collar. "His mind will be pudding by the time I'm through too bad you won't live to see it Captain." She wrapped her hands tight around his throat and smashed him into the floor. She was just about to deliver the final blow when Rocket fired off a shot setting the sprinklers off. He then tossed something in the air and waited. Vivian was now gasping and choking on the ground. This gave Carol a chance to grab her. "Rocket watch them. I'll get her back on the ship."

Bucky opened his eyes and found himself in his bed being held by Steve. He looked around the room. Steve feeling him move woke up. "Buck?" He latched onto Steve as he began to sob. "Did I hurt you? God please tell me I didn't hurt you. She tried to take you away from me Stevie. She tried and... and.. I fought…. I fought so hard it hurt. I couldn't lose you. No you ever again. Or Sam or Natasha or Clint. I love you guys. I NEED you guys. Please tell me I didn't do anything bad. I can't forgive myself if I hurt you." Steve rocked him as he hiccuped and sobbed rubbing small circles on his back.

"It's ok Buck. It's ok. You didn't hurt anyone. We're fine. You did good. I'm so sorry I asked you to go. If i had any idea that Vivian-"  
"Vivian...this was all my fault. I let the fox in the hen house." Steve gripped him tight with one arm. The other was in a sling and he could see the dark bruises on his neck and chest. "No. It's not. No one considered that she was a rogue alien. Carol only just found out because Rocket's team caught one of their weapons runs. Don't blame yourself. What matters is that Vivian is being taken back to be dealt with under the fullest extent possible. How's your neck feeling? It took Tony and Rocket hours to get it off. We were scared you were gonna wake up before they were done."

He ran a hand around his throat and could feel a swollen groove. "I guess it's ok." Steve pulled out a handkerchief and wiped his face. "Good. I'll give Nat a call and tell her you're up. What sounds good for dinner? You get to pick?" He smiled still holding onto Steve. "Any meal I have with you is my favorite but I like the sound of pizza." He laughed "ok. I'll have Nat bring it in." He was now taking a good look at Steve.

His face was bruised and his back was in a brace. His right leg was propped on a pillow and he could see the pins holding it in place. "Damn Stevie she hurt you." The words stung as they left his mouth. "I'm-" he stopped as Steve placed a hand on his mouth. "Not. Your. Fault. If anything I need to apologize. That was a raw deal for you. For what it's worth Carol was so scared you were not gonna be ok. She left Goose here until you were stable. You told Tony your rank and file while he was trying to check you out. That's how I knew you were ok." He laid back against Steve "I don't think I'm good for missions anymore." 

Natasha arrived with pizza and sat on the bed with them. "Glad to have you back with us. As you can see Steve celebrated turning 106 by getting the stuffing knocked out of him by a kree and almost not making it to 107. I knew Carol could punch his old ass through a wall, I just didn't want to see someone actually do it to him." 

Natasha stayed with them as they ate pizza and watched movies. She fell asleep with her head on Bucky's chest and Bucky had his head on Steve's listening to the steady beat of his heart. Despite all that it caused he thanked god everyday for Erksine's serum. He thanked God that Steve had a chance to live his life and for tonight he thanked God for the chance to be a part of that life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes this chapter got a bit sappy. Thanks as always for reading check out my other fics. Kudos and comments are always appreciated


	28. Worldcon

The few weeks after the Kree incident found things very quiet. Steve was for once taking things easy as he recovered from his latest near miss. He even turned down a mission. He cited that he needed to take some personal time. “Not sure they are gonna allow me to go kid.” Peter sulked at the counter. “Why can’t they let you live a somewhat normal life?” He took a seat next to him. “They are but I can’t just go off and do whatever. They want to make sure it's safe. Too many Hydra surprises lately. He continued to frown. “Just go with your friends and have a good time. Besides you don’t really want to be dragging an old man around… what was it again?” 

His face lit up at the chance to explain. “World con! And it turns 100 this year well technically its over 100 but this is their 100th gathering. It’s super cool they are gonna have it back here in New York where it started out at NyCon in-”  
“In 1939! I was there!” He was startled by the sudden excitement Bucky was exhibiting. “I took Steve for his birthday. It was so great. We gotta go. I didn’t think that was still a thing!” As if on cue Tony, Pepper, and Steve came in. “Perfect timing. Steve! I wanna go do something with the kid next weekend.” Tony and Steve looked at each other. “That depends...what is it?” He put his hands in his pockets. “Oh well it's um..tell him Peter.” He quickly pushed him forward.

“Oh right my turn to talk. So um there's this thing.. Worldcon and-”  
“Hold it, you want to take Barnes to one of your nerd conventions?”  
“Yes?” Tony looked at Steve. “Not sure if that's a good plan. What do you think Rodgers?” He crossed his arms. “I mean maybe. We can look into it.” Bucky and Peter were both smiling at them. “Ok well this is weird.” Pepper laughed. “I think it’s cute. Peter could use a friend and James needs the social interaction. How about we ask Bruce to go? He’s a good chaperone.” Tony clapped his hands together. “Cool cool send the king of the nerds to baby sit Parker and the old man.” Peter let out a cheer. “Yes! hanging out with Dr. Banner and the winter soldier! this is gonna be awesome!” 

Over the next few days Peter was trying to talk Bruce and Bucky into costumes. After much deliberation they settled on star wars. Bucky chose Han Solo, Bruce picked a Jedi and Peter wanted to be a storm trooper. “Aren’t you a little short to be a storm trooper?” Steve quickly quipped when they presented the plan at dinner. “Damn! The old man got us on a Star Wars reference!” Tony looked over at Bruce. “Banner, language Steve is RIGHT there.” He hung his head “Still have not lived that one down.” Bucky grinned “Did he do the language thing again?” Tony dropped his fork “What do you mean again? There was a first time?” Steve gave him a look that practically begged him to stop. “He made the mistake of saying it the first time the reels were being filmed. Dugan Didn't let him live it down for a moment. We even started a swear jar because of it. The best moment was when Steve ended up having to put money in it. We really let him have it for that.”

“What did he say and why?” Peter looked at him. Bucky saw Pepper nod towards Morgan who was eagerly awaiting the rest of the story. “Well…. What he said is not appropriate for certain company at this table and as for why I guess he had a good reason… They dropped a tank on him.” Morgan's eyes went wide. “What?how?” Peter was at the edge of his seat. “Well when Captain america was out on the field he was the target they all wanted to hit. A few of them got desperate and bold enough and you can do anything when you have enough adrenaline so they rolled a tank over on him. Thankfully they did it on a hill and it rolled over him and kept going barley missed his head. But he had a few cracked bones. Few hours later he was good. A bit sore but no worse for wear.” 

Pepper smiled a silent thank you for being mindful of Morgan. “So you guys will be gone for the weekend then wont you?” She asked. Bruce shrugged. “Not really we will be here in the evenings.” Tony rolled his eyes. “No you won't. I’ll get ya a room at the hotel. Go have a good weekend then I don't have to have three nerds walking in and out of my building two days in a row.”   
“It's five days!” Peter squeaked. Steve looked up. “Five days? You sure about this?” 

"Steve it's fine. I know the people here nothing's going to happen. It will be fun. Trust me. Besides who would think to look for the winter soldier at a sci-fi convention." Bruce seemed to ease some of his apprehensions a bit. "Fine but I want you to check in each day." Bucky rolled his eyes. "Okay mom." Tony raised an eyebrow. "You really missed your window on the whole horrible teenager thing you know that." He responded by sticking his tongue out at Tony. "Rogers, control your brat." Steve couldn't help but laugh. 

Wednesday morning came and they were all piling into Natasha’s car. She rolled her eyes when Bruce slid into the front seat. “I can’t believe my job has come to being a nerd taxi service.” He smiled “I’m sure Tony is paying you well enough for it besides you won't have to see us again until Sunday afternoon.” She looked in the rear view mirror “Rogers OK with you being gone that long?” He shrugged. “Seemed like it. We did background checks and all that stuff. Bruce promised to keep a lid on things besides it’s just a bunch of nerds.” She pulled away from the tower. “That it is.” 

When they arrived at the hotel it was bustling with people. They made their way to the front desk to check into their room. To no one’s surprise Tony got them one of the best rooms he could buy which worked out because it gave everyone their own bed. Bruce looked out the window and could see the atrium filled with people below. As he looked around he could see there were other windows decorated with flags from their favorite fandoms. “Oooo maybe we should find a flag.” Peter said as he looked around. “Sounds like we have our first mission for the day after we get our badges. what say you, Captain Solo?” He could see Bucky scanning the crowd.It was much bigger than he anticipated despite his research it was hard to imagine just what 3,000 people actually looked like in one place. “It’s huge. What kind of flag should we get?” Bruce thought about it. “Well we could get a star wars one or we could aim for the silliest flag we can find. I could go either way on this. What do you say Peter?” He was working on putting the plastic storm trooper armor on. “Well that depends how silly can we get with that flag?” Bucky helped Peter finish strapping things in place. “There’s only one way to find out. Let's get going.” 

As they made their way through the crowd to get registered Peter nudged Bucky. “Look the Avengers are here.” He pointed over to a group that was dressed up as the Avengers including one guy who was comically painted to be green like the Hulk. Bucky got a grin on his face. “Picture” he said as he tossed his phone to Peter. He went over to the group and asked for a shot with them. After they got a few silly pictures with them he sent the pictures to Tony and Steve. “Didn’t realize you guys were coming after all.” Tony was first to respond. “Is that supposed to be me? They look like they are wearing a trash can.” He showed the text to Bruce who laughed. “Tell him you thought he looked pretty good.” He nodded and passed the message along. 

The line for registration was moving fairly slow. This gave Bucky time to examine the convention space itself. Old habits die hard and he was always aware of escape routes. He noted that Bruce seemed to be doing the same thing. In an effort to speed things along someone was coming down the line and passing out the schedule of events for the weekend. She paused when she got to the three of them. “Dr. Banner?” He looked at the woman a moment. “Dr. Foster, this is an unexpected surprise. We didn’t know you were in town.” She smiled “I try to keep this under the radar a little bit. I am running a panel on super humans later though if you would like to sit in.” He took the booklet from her. “We will have to see what our plans are. I’d like you to meet Peter and James.” Peter waved and Bucky held his hand out for a shake which Jane gingerly took. “Hi, you're the one Thor talks about.” She blushed. “Yea he and I kinda dated for a while now we are just friends.” Bucky realized he might have embarrassed her. “Sorry I didn’t mean to upset you.” Her eyes brightened. “Oh no it’s just weird knowing that a god from another world talks about you. I should let you guys get moving. Have fun.” They finally got to the top of the line and received their badges for the weekend. 

They took a seat at a table nearby and looked at the weekends events. “They have a few game tournaments we could join one of those. Or trivia contests, those are cool.” Bucky looked at the list of trivia sessions and pointed to one. “I gotta do this one.” Bruce scanned the book. “The ultimate Captain America trivia contest. Really? I mean isn’t that cheating?” He got up from the table “only if they know who I really am. I’m gonna sign up right now before the spots are gone.” He came back a few moments later with a satisfied grin on his face. “You are unbelievable, you know that?” He sat back in the chair and continued to look at the other events. There were dances in the evenings and concerts and a costume contest. There were a few other panels about Captain America scattered throughout the weekend and one about the advances made by Stark industries vs Hammer tech. They found a few author readings and made some time for Dr. Foster's presentation and began to look around at everything else going on. It didn’t take long for a small collection of Princess Leia’s to find Bucky. He was doing ok with the attention until one woman was particularly bold and grabby with him. 

“Off please.” He pushed the woman away. She looked at him almost shocked, “What’s the matter Solo? Can’t handle a little close contact?” He was adjusting his shirt. “Didn’t like where your hands were.” She rolled her eyes and stomped off. Bruce went over to him. “You need a minute? We could go back to the room if you like.” He looked around and straightened up. “No it’s ok. The way she touched me just brought back some bad memories. I'll be ok.” They made it a few steps when Bucky got the feeling they were being watched. He turned to see someone walking towards them. He took a step behind Bruce who quickly looked to see someone dressed as the red skull standing in front of them. “Can we help you?” The person smiled “I was just hoping to grab a picture of you three you look great.” Bruce could feel the discomfort radiating from Bucky. He turned to him. “This person would like a quick picture of us. Then I think it’s time for a lunch break.” Bucky was practically frozen in place. Peter gave his hand a quick squeeze. “Captain battle pose.” He quickly snapped to attention in his best Han Solo pose. The Red Skull thanked them and went on their way. Bruce led them into the cafe attached to the convention center and sat Bucky at a table with Peter.

“Mr. Barnes I’m sorry I didn’t think anyone would be stupid enough to actually dress up as Red Skull.” He put a hand up. “It’s ok. The comic books that came out made it seem like Red Skull was some kind of made up enemy not a real person. They couldn’t possibly know they walked up to one of the only people that actually saw that bastard up close.” Bruce returned to the table with some sandwiches and tea. “Here this should help. You realize they might be at the Trivia tomorrow right?” He shook his head. “I know that now. I just wasn’t prepared for it. They looked so real. Like damn. I thought I would only ever see that face in my nightmares. Sorry we had to stop because of me.” Peter patted his back. “No worries I was actually starting to get hungry anyway so it all works out.” They enjoyed their lunch and made their way back out into the hall to find the vendor area. 

They immediately found a booth with dozens of different banners. Bucky was immediately drawn to the section for lord of the rings and grabbed an Elvin flag as well as an Orc flag. Peter and Bruce found a star wars flag that was half rebel alliance and half imperials. Bucky was still digging through flags when he came across the Howling commandos flag. He walked back over to Bruce and Peter. “We should put these up later.” They continued through until it was time for the dungeons and dragons team game they signed up for. He wasn't exactly sure how a tournament style game worked but he was willing to give it a shot. He had enjoyed playing the game with Bruce and Peter. When they got to the room they found their starting table. It was a simplified version of the game. they knew each table had its own dm and the sessions were 10 rounds long with one task to be completed by the teams and one enemy to defeat between them. 

They made it through 4 sessions before they were knocked out by a group of 12 year old girls. It was a good match and the girls were absolutely brutal and merciless. The head of their team reminded Bucky of Steve. She was a masterful tactician while her teammates handled some of the more interactive social parts of the game play. Bucky realized it was over after round 4 but didn’t let on that he knew. They ended the game with a hand shake and Bruce handed each of them a card about Stark Industries S.T.E.M. programs for girls. They headed back out just in time to catch Dr. Foster's Panel. It was a packed house; they just barely found seats next to each other. She smiled when she saw them walk in. 

Her panel ended up being quite helpful for Bucky as it explained some of the bits and pieces regarding the avengers and other people he had only heard about but still wasn’t comfortable asking about. Of course she couldn’t exactly cover super humans without mentioning the start of it all, Project Rebirth. Once she was finished she allowed people to ask questions. There were some good ones that people asked about the social implications of super humans existing, even bringing up the attempts to legislate against mutants. There was a gentleman that stood up and something about him made Bucky cringe. “Thank you Dr. Foster for your presentation today however I can’t help but think your studies have been a little bit biased since it is no secret that you were involved with Thor for quite some time.” Jane tensed up a bit but didn’t back down. “Well in an attempt to avoid any bias my presentation has been peer reviewed and in case you hadn’t noticed Thor was omitted from it just to be safe. I maintained my focus on earth based super humans such as Captain Rogers and the Hulk.” The man nodded along “Ok but seriously what makes you qualified to present on the subject and be honest here your only connection to any of this is Thor, unless of course you have moved on to Captain America.” This elicited a bit of snickering from a few men and women in the room. 

She was starting to get flustered as a few more agreed with the off handed comments. “I don’t feel like we need to battle about credentials here but if you feel so inclined you may look at my website and you can see how my work has begun to overlap with this subject among the many other subjects I specialize in. I hoped this would be a fun discussion for the weekends events especially with there being a special focus on the convention being back in Captain Rogers hometown for its 100th meeting.” The man rolled his eyes. “It must be easy to excel in a field when you have an Avenger in your back pocket.” At this point, Bucky had enough and he quietly walked over and picked the man up and took him out of the room, placing him in a nearby garbage can just outside the window of the presentation room. He came back in without a word and sat down waiting for them to continue. Jane couldn’t hold back the laugh and soon most of the room were laughing as the man comically tried to escape the can which only resulted in him tipping over spilling himself with the rest of the trash on the floor. When the room cleared she came over to them. “Thank you for the assistance. There’s one in every crowd. I have learned not to argue with them. I know my worth at the end of the day.”

It was then that she noticed the silver of his arm showing through where his sleeve had slid up. Her eyes went wide. “Barnes?” He froze. Bruce looked around the room. “Keep that information quiet. We just want to have a nice calm weekend.” She smiled. “I can do that. Let me buy dinner for you guys at least.” Bruce grinned “Nah let’s let Tony pay for this one.” He pulled out a charge card. “He said if we needed anything this weekend put it on the card. So I think we need to have a nice dinner in our room,” he added when Bucky looked a bit nervous “I would love to have you.” She smiled “fine with me I have some things to wrap up. I can meet you in the elevator in about 2 hours is that ok?” They all agreed “Yes we haven’t seen all of the vendor hall yet or the artist alley. We should be able to finish most of it by that time.” 

They parted ways and continued to the remainder of the vendor hall. There was a booth selling adult sized pajamas made to look like animals and other characters. Peter was scanning the racks when he pulled out an Iron Man one. “Oh god that's hilarious. Does stark know about these things?” They began to scan the racks and Bucky immediately found a Captain America one. He looked over at Bruce. “I should get this and say nothing just show up in the common room one morning wearing it. Bruce found a spider-man one and smiled at Peter. Well, I'm gonna have to get this one.” They quickly paid for them and moved through the rest of the booths. They had just finished the vendors area when Bruce realized it was time to meet Jane. 

She had just walked up to the elevators when they had arrived. "What's in the bags?" Peter grinned and pulled out the pajamas. "We all got a pair." She grinned. "I can see why Thor likes you." Peter blushed. "He talks about us?" They stepped into the elevator. "All the time. He speaks very highly of all of you. He is still learning about James but from what I understand Loki has filled in some of the blanks." Bucky turned deep red. "Loki talks about me?" He said quietly. She gave him a puzzled look.

"We...uh we kinda had a thing for a while at the beginning of the summer." She raised an eyebrow. “You? You’re the one they have been brooding about these past two months?” She saw something in his eyes not quite hope but something familiar about it. “I...um...they...what?” She smiled. “They are a pair of heart breakers aren't they?” He looked awkwardly down at his feet. “I think I was the heart breaker.” They were now sitting in the hotel sweet he filled Jane in on his side of the breakup. “Suddenly Loki was just gone. So I figured it was just another person in a long line of people I hurt.” Peter patted him softly. “Those situations are always tough. I wish we could have helped sort it out.” He shook his head. “No, I don’t want to hurt anyone.” Jane pulled out her phone and discreetly texted Thor.  
“We need to get Loki and James to see each other. He clearly misses them.” Thor responded quickly “Agreed. Perhaps you can offer Loki a chance to be a part of your speaking engagement this weekend. I am aware that He is there with Dr. Banner and Peter.”  
“Great plan. The sooner the better. I’m sure we can get them some room to speak privately.” 

That night Jane proved to be excellent company. Despite what he had thought talking about the breakup was quite helpful. Even Peter was able to offer some helpful input. Once he had fallen asleep the adults were able to talk. "So why did your thoughts go to Vivian?" He began to blush again. "I felt intimidated. Being with Loki it's different. Not like being with anyone else not Steve or Stark." He froze as Bruce's eyes went wide. "Tony?" He realized what Bruce was thinking. 

"No no god no. Um There was a night…with Howard and I. We were both bored and lonely and kinda drunk so one thing led to another and yeaaaa." He waited half expecting them to question his relationship with Steve but no one mentioned it. "I know what you mean. When I realized that Thor and I were headed that direction I was practically apologizing. He was patient and kind. I will tell you this, they might be gods but they are no different than you or I in the bedroom. I will admit though I'm a bit curious. You said you have been with Steve?" 

He let out a laugh. "It was one time. But yeah it was...an experience. His first time with a guy. Those dames at the USO really did teach him a thing or two." At this Bruce spit his drink. “”Sorry did I ruin the illusion that Captain America was a virgin?” Jane was in near hysterics as Bruce tried to compose himself. “No it's just I never really thought that way about well ...most people especially not Steve.” Bucky grinned “yeah and that's how he gets away with so much shit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> World con is an actual con. It's the oldest existing sci fi convention and one of the first recorded instances of cosplay. Even in the early 1900's people were being nerds. 
> 
> thanks for reading check out my other fics. Comments and Kudos are much appreciated :)


	29. Shazbot

The next morning Steve called during breakfast to check in. Bucky turned it into a video call so that he could see for himself that everyone was alive and well. Peter was already wearing the Ironman pajamas and He could see the flags on the window behind them. Tony appeared on the screen with him. “What’s with the banners Banner?” They turned the screen so he could see all the flags. “Everyone with a room facing the Atrium had flags up for their fandoms so we got into the spirit too. We have An elven flag and Orc Flag,a star wars flag, and a Howling commandos flag.” Steve laughed. “I can’t imagine which flags Buck picked out. I’m glad to see you guys are enjoying yourselves.” He went to hang up when Tony spotted the Iron man pj’s. “Wait...Kid ...what are you wearing?” Peter grinned. “My pajamas. Don’t they look super comfy.” He rolled his eyes. “They look an awful lot like me.” They all began to laugh. “Thats cuz they are you.” Tony crossed his arms. “I don’t remember giving anyone permission to make those besides now I need a pair of those pjs.” Bruce smiled “I think we can get a pair for ya Tony.” 

They headed down to finish seeing the artist area before the trivia contest. Bucky was not completely prepared for some of the content in the artist alley. “Fan art” as Peter explained, was still an odd concept for him. He knew it was no different than any other art but it was weird to see people’s drawings of people he knew. He was absolutely blown away when he found someone selling a picture of him, how he used to be. He looked down at the image. It wasn’t quite a recreation of any of the images seen in the museums or the comic books. The artist looked up from their book. “Well I’ll be damned.” Something about the tone made him snap to attention. He was now staring at a man in his 40’s, his badge read Damon Phillips. “You look an awful lot like him Captain Solo.” Bucky stammered a moment. “Do ...do I know you?” He shook his head. “I get that a lot. I’m told I look like my grandpappy, Colonel Chester Phillips. Most schools don’t cover world war two without mentioning him. That said I wasn’t exactly born yesterday and you look like you have seen a ghost. So the rumors are true huh? I guess stranger things have happened. Don’t worry I won’t let anyone know. Mind if I get a look at the arm?” He took a small step back. “I don’t mean any offence. He stood up from the table to reveal a crude prosthetic right leg. “What happened?” He took a seat again. “I would love to tell you it was lost in some great heroic fashion but it was removed a long time ago. I had cancer. They did all they could but this was the best option. Don’t feel sorry for me though. I get along fine.” 

He was leafing through the other images, they were all scenes he recognized but he knew were not public information. Damon watched as his eyes lit up with each memory. “When I was sick, I spent a lot of time with him. He told me all kinds of stories but he didn't exactly have pictures. I decided it would be a great idea to try and provide the pictures for him. If I hadn't been as sick as I was I don’t think I would have had that time with him nor would I have taken to drawing.” He had stopped at a picture a few of them lined up battered and bruised after a fight at the Stork Club. Peg dead center her hair and dress perfect her knuckles bruised and a busted lip. “Which fight was this?” He let out a laugh. “That was inspired by the general Idea of how often you lot brawled.I was able to send that one to Mrs. Carter from what I understand it hangs proudly in her estate. I only met her once or twice. She was at Grandpappy's funeral. I was able to meet all of them well, most all of them.” He could tell from Damons inflection he meant Steve and himself. He quickly pulled his phone out. “Hold on a sec. Can I take a picture?” He nodded. “Stand up and look grumpy and serious.” The man obliged and He sent the picture to Steve. He received a reply back in seconds. “Why the random picture of Phillips?” He smiled at the text. “Hey wanna mess with Captain America?” Damon’s eyes lit up. Just about that time Bruce and Peter had made their way over to him. “I would be honored Sergeant.” He texted back “Long story is it a good time to call you?”  
“Sure thing whatever you need Buck.” 

Steve was sitting in Tony’s lab. He was as they put it being a mother hen so Tony put him to work testing some new toys for the team. As promised, Bucky called him. “Hello?”  
“Captain! Just where the hell have you been? Looking for you was like looking for a needle in a haystack” Tony turned to see Cap go pale before he dropped the phone. “Whoa Cap? Hey Spangles what is it talk to me?” He could hear someone on the phone so he grabbed it. “Barnes WHAT the HELL?” He could hear the phone quickly being shuffled around. “Tony? What happened with Steve?” Tony sat him in a chair and gave him a drink of water. “Not sure but he sure as hell looks like he saw a ghost.” Bucky stopped laughing. “Oh shit really? Put him on quick.” He passed the phone over to Steve. “Your boyfriend wants to speak with you.”

“Hey Steve? Stevie? Ya good? I didn’t mean to spook ya. Come on, talk to me.” He could Hear his breathing steady on the other end. “I..wow Buck...who was on the phone. I could have sworn it was..was..”  
“Phillips I know. It was kind of. That was his grandson Damon who looks and sounds SO much like him. That was him I sent you a pic of. I thought since it didn’t phase you that it wasn’t actually Phillips I would mess with you. I didn’t mean to put you in a fit.” He could hear an easy laugh on the phone now. “Damn. How did you manage that?”   
“He’s one of the artists here. He has some amazing work. I know you would love it.” He could see Damon shoving a book towards him. “For you guys” He mouthed. “He gave me a book with some of his art so you can see it on sunday.”  
“Oh..Ok Buck. I look forward to it. You keep having fun.” 

Peter tapped him on the shoulder. “We gotta get to the trivia contest if you still wanna do that.” Damon was getting up from his table. “Sounds like we are headed to the same place. Don’t tell me you entered a Captain America trivia competition.” He gave him a sly grin. “Yes I did. Thought it might be funny.” Damon laughed. “Well It should be a fun time. I'm going to watch but I won’t tell anyone. It will probably be hilarious to see.” Bucky introduced Peter and Bruce to Damon as they walked to the events hall. As Bruce had mentioned the day before there was someone dressed as Red skull sitting in the audience. He was prepared for it this time. He found his spot and was soon greeted by one of the girls from yesterday’s dungeons and dragons tournaments. She smiled sweetly. “Come to get beaten again captain solo?” 

He smirked at her. “Don’t get cocky kid.” She was wearing a brown leather jacket and fatigues with a project rebirth shirt underneath. She was dressed as Steve, little Steve. “Nice costume. Classic look, I respect it.” She smiled. He was now taking in what he saw. Her frame was small and fragile. He listed as each breath seemed to rattle in her lungs. “I’m James,” he said, extending his hand. She took it, “Margret.” Because of course she was going to just remind him of every important person. “That’s a nice name. So I take it Captain America is your favorite?” She nodded. “He came to our school last year but I was sick so I missed him. Maybe he will come visit again this year.” He leaned back in his chair. “He’s a good guy like that. I'm sure he would come visit your school if you asked.” She fidgeted in her seat. “Knowing my luck I’ll just be sick again.” He knew that look. That pained expression. Steve had worn that face pretty much constantly as a child. A few other participants ambled in. 

They went through and as people answered a question wrong they were eliminated. After round one half the contestants were gone but Margaret was still in it. For some reason the moderator was giving particularly hard questions to Margaret. He got the impression that most of the competitors were not fond of her presence. He found it especially unfair when the moderator's next question for her was to name every single town they liberated and the dates. He didn’t quite remember all that. She took her time closing her eyes as she slowly listed them. He waited holding his breath until the mod gave a defeated sigh and marked it correct. 

In the end it came down to the two of them and there was no end in sight. Someone came in to let them know they were at the end of their session and the moderator was frantically trying to find something at least one of them couldn’t know after having run out of questions. The bell sounded, signaling the end of the session. “Oh shazbot!” the man yelled. Bucky felt his brain lurch as the room began to spin. He woke up soon after on the floor with an ice pack on his head and someone holding his hand. His whole body hurt. The room was quiet except for the few voices he could hear. He was trying to look around but someone placed a hand on his chest. “I’ll get them for you” a tiny voice said.

“Excuse me Dr. Banner, James is awake now.” He heard a relieved sigh. Bruce Knelt beside him and eased him into a sitting position. There was a woman patting his face with a damp cloth. The little girl from earlier was holding his hand. “James it’s ok this is Margaret's mother. She happens to be a nurse. We think you had a trigger, nothing major but I think it’s best we take you back to the room for the day.” He could feel himself struggling to breath. Everything felt so fuzzy. He could tell by the taste in his mouth he had most likely threw up and if he hadn’t he sure was about to. He lurched forward barely making it to the trashcan in the room. He heaved for a few more minutes before it stopped. “Mission report?” He said, confused. Bruce froze “Ohhhhh We gotta call Steve.” Peter was still watching Margret and her mother whose name was Sarah (go figure). “Hey let’s take a walk? I think the adults have to do some adult things. Mrs. Sarah we are gonna go get a snack.” She nodded. Bruce was already on the phone with Steve.

“Yea, we found another trigger word. He seems ok but he’s confused. I'm gonna put you on video just do what you need to. Heads up one civilian in the room. Her name is Sarah and she’s been a huge help so don’t freak out.” He could now see the woman easing Bucky into a chair. “Hey Buck It’s me. Your Name is James Buchannan Barnes It’s August 9th you are at a convention with Peter and Bruce. You and I have been best friends for practically forever. You are safe now everything is ok.” The woman was still holding his hand as she gently rubbed his back. He was getting his bearings. “Hey Punk. Sorry to worry you.” He could feel the tension in the room loosen. 

Bruce and Sarah helped him off the floor and to his feet. Peter came back in with Margaret as they were moving him. "We are taking him back to the room, let's go." It took a bit of work but they soon had Bucky settled. Sarah placed a new damp towel on his forehead and tucked the blankets around him. "You get some rest James. Plenty of fluids don't push yourself if you don't feel up to doing anything" she gave Bruce her card. "If you need anything my cell number is there we are only 15 minutes away if it's after convention hours." Bruce thanked them and sent them on their way.

Peter was sitting near the bed. "I guess we are done for the day." Bucky sat up as much as he could. "I'm done but you guys should keep enjoying yourselves." Bruce walked in shaking his head. "And what? get killed by Steve? Nope you aren't being left alone." He frowned but before he could protest his entire body cramped. Peter got the can over to him just in time. "Mr. Barnes my spidey senses are going crazy around you right now. I wouldn't feel right. What exactly happened?" Bucky wiped his mouth. "One last deactivation code. I thought we got them all." 

They spent the rest of the day watching movies. Peter occasionally left to see things. That evening Jane let Bruce know she would be bringing them dinner. She arrived that evening with chinese food and Loki in tow. Loki shuffled as they waited in the elevator. "I don't see why I have to accompany you to have dinner with your college. I was perfectly fine on my own." She smiled as they stepped out of the elevator. "It will be fun. Trust me."

When she knocked on the door Loki didn't expect Bruce to answer the door to the penthouse suite. Loki stamped their foot and looked at Jane. "You tricked me!" Bucky looked up from the couch and immediately darted for the bathroom and slammed the door shut. Bruce looked at Jane "Are you kidding me Jane? He's already had a rough day, did you really need to add drama to the mix?" Loki pushed through the door and dropped the bags on the table and sat down next to Peter arms crossed. 

Bruce headed towards the bathroom to check on Bucky. He was sitting on the bathroom floor knees drawn to his chest shaking when Bruce opened the door. He looked up at him with wet eyes. "I can't do this today. I feel miserable. I barely have the spoons to deal with Jane I can't deal with an awkward ex right now. Why would she do something like this to me?"  
Bruce ran his hands through his hair. Before he could answer Jane led Loki in the bathroom. "Because Thor and I have watched both you and Loki broken hearted and lonely for the last few months. Even if you dont resume a serious relationship you two clearly care about one another. I just thought you might benefit from seeing each other." 

Loki sat on the floor in front of Bucky. "I see you have been eating well." He blushed a bit "I um..Sam's mom...she was good to me. You look like you um.. have you been working out?" Loki nodded "Thor's way of keeping me distracted has been through improving my combat skills." Bucky nodded "I see. You look good."   
"You as well you look…"  
"Healthy? Yeah you too."   
"I hear the blue haired woman is a traitor." Bucky winced "Yeah. Look Loki I wasn't wanting her over you. I wanted something physical with you but I couldn't ya know… visualize it. I still have a hard time with my head." Loki had scooted closer. "I suppose I'm just not used to things lasting. I'm used to one night stands. I may have let my fear lead to an over reaction." Bucky stayed put his back against the shower door. 

"Well I don't have fancy mind powers so I need you to tell me things like if you want to be my buddy or my doll?" Loki was quiet "I don't know what I want." Bucky's stomach growled "well right now I want food so lets start there?" Loki stood up and held out a hand for him. "Fine. We shall start there."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading check out my other fics. Kudos and comments are very much appreciated   
> Stay safe


	30. I know

Despite the awkward start dinner wasn’t a total loss. Jane was telling Loki about the troll in her presentation and how Bucky handled it. Loki smiled as they looked over at him. “I’m sure Thor will be pleased to know Jane has others to look out for her, not that she needs them, it’s just nice to know he needn’t worry so much when she’s away.” Bucky gave a small nod “Happy to take out the trash any time.”   
“Speaking of trash what happened with the blue haired woman.” 

Bucky glared at Loki and Jane looked over at Bruce. “I’m pretty sure you have your information. Don’t see why I have to retell that one.” Peter tapped Loki and shook his head. “Ah I see not the time. My apologies. Fine then what else have you been up to.” Bucky took a deep breath. “I went on vacation with Sam in June. Got bit by a horse and a snake and then I got embarrassingly shit faced on Steve’s birthday. What about you?” There was a tension in his short answer. Loki cleared their throat. “Well, I spent some time getting to know lady Darcy better and Thor taught me how to wield stormbreaker should the need ever arise. I also went home to Jotunheim for a while.” 

“I thought you were from Asgard.” Bruce looked over at Bucky. He knew home was a tender subject for Loki. Loki snarled across the table “I AM NOT AN ASGARDIAN.” Bucky responded by putting his hands up “Jeez fine sorry your majesty.” You could hear a pin drop as they all looked at him. Before he could question anything Loki leapt across the table pinning him to the ground. Their skin was blue and cold and their eyes were red. “DOES THIS LOOK ASGARDIAN TO YOU? WELL DOES IT?” Bucky looked them in the eye “How the fuck should I know.” Loki paused and regained some of their composure. “I see. Right. How would you know? I just assumed when everyone was so bent on keeping us apart….”  
“No one told me you could turn blue or anything. No one told me any personal business about you. They only said you played with people's heads.” 

Loki let out a strained laugh as they sat down on the couch “I have made quite the fool of myself haven’t I.” The laugh continued until it turned to a sob. Bucky carefully went over and sat on the couch. “Talk to me. I honestly have no clue what just happened other than the fact that you look like a game of thrones character right now.” Jane brought over a drink for Loki and Peter grabbed a blanket while Bruce took a seat nearby to keep an eye on them while still giving them space. “I..just...I’m...LOOK AT ME!” Bucky nodded “I am..you’re blue.” Loki looked almost mad as they shook their head “I’m a monster. I am a frost giant.” Bucky was still looking at them with the same expression. “That supposed to mean something to me? Loki I’m pretty familiar with the monster department. I don’t care what color you are. I don’t have any history with you.” 

“Surely you asked Friday about me?” He shook his head “No. I prefer to get information from the source. When I ask for information on a person it’s usually just a name and a picture so I know who I am looking at. I don’t let the computer tell me your story because Friday may have had their mind made up for them by the Avengers and clearly that's gonna be biased.” Loki sniffed a little “So you don’t think I’m a monster?” He wrapped an arm around them “So what if you are? You didn’t run away from me, neither did Peter or Bruce or even Jane. I’m not gonna run off that easily. Now can we finish dinner?” Loki nodded and followed him back to the table this time taking the seat next to Bucky. It was just then that Steve called to check in with them. Bruce answered and Steve smiled to see Loki feeding Bucky in the background. 

“I see Jane and Thor’s plan worked?” Bruce shrugged “Mostly. It was….dicey for a bit but I think they are working it out. How are you?” He smiled “It’s quiet here. I’m watching Morgan for the night so Tony and Pepper can go out.” He turned the camera down to show her asleep on his lap. “She fell asleep while we watched Snow White.” Jame smiled “That’s so sweet.” Bucky hopped up from his seat and came over to Bruce “Speakin’ of sweet, Stevie you gotta make a school visit. Little girl kicked my ass at dungeons and dragons yesterday, I got to see her again today. She was dressed up as you. Little you. She missed you last year because she was sick. I have her moms phone number if you want to work something out.” He smiled “Aw. Of course Buck. Get the info to Pepper, she handles all my visits like that. We can make that happen.” He nodded “Great now I’m gonna get back to my dinner.” Steve smirked “looks to me like you’re havin’ dessert first again.” He laughed and went back to Loki “Good night Stevie. See ya in a few days punk.”  
“Good night Jerk. Good night guys.”

Loki joined them for breakfast the next morning. Despite Jane insisting they stay Loki left with her citing they did not wish to do anything regretful. They were all suited up and ready to go. Loki frowned. “I was not aware you all were wearing costumes.” Bucky rolled his eyes “Can’t you change shape into whatever you want? Just do that.” Loki continued to pout. Bruce let out a sigh “What’s wrong?”   
“I want to be the princess.” He smiled “ok that’s fine.”   
“I don’t want to match James.” He frowned “Well it’s not like I have another costume.” Peter shrugged “it’s ok. You can still be Leia and Bucky can still be Han. It doesn’t mean you are a couple.” Loki rolled their eyes “Fine.” Bruce let out a breath he didn’t realize he was holding. “Ok if that's out of the way let's go have a nice day.” 

Bruce left them to go help out with a game tournament and Peter disappeared into the crowd. “Well can’t say I’m surprised that happened. I guess it’s you and me.” Loki nodded “So it would seem.”  
“You look nice.”  
“I know.” The answer was very curt. Bucky stopped and turned to Loki. “Are you gonna be like this all day? I don’t know what else to do. I’m trying here. You are being so damn difficult.”  
“James, you are making a scene bigger than the death star.” He pinched the bridge of his nose and growled. “Well your worship I wouldn’t be making a scene if you would turn off the goddamn attitude.” He stomped off back towards the room and Loki followed. 

“Where are you going?”   
“Why are you following me?” Loki stopped “I...because...everyone else left…..I don’t want to be alone.” Bucky tensed as the elevator door closed. “Well I can’t do a crowd right now. Maybe call the kid and see if he will hang with you.” Loki shook their head. “I do want to be with you, I just...I don’t know why I’m being so aggressive. I really don’t. Everything I say keeps coming out wrong.” The elevator opened and he headed to the room. “Fine come in but I need some quite right now. I’ve got a migraine.” Loki nodded and headed in the room. Bucky went into his bedroom and turned the lights out and closed the door. After a while he could hear Loki creep in and lay an ice cold hand on the back of his neck.

“Thanks Doll.” There was a moment of silence. “I’m your doll again? Shouldn’t you play with your doll?” Loki purred quietly. Bucky Adjusted so he wasn’t muffled by the pillow. “Right now It feels like my brain is trying to escape through my eyes. I don’t feel like playing with anything. Loki responded by gently rolling his shirt off and placing himself against his back. “Bruce told me this might help” Loki whispered quietly. Bucky relaxed a bit more into the cold and was soon sound asleep against Loki.” 

Bruce checked on them around lunchtime, Bucky still asleep as Loki ran their fingers through his hair. He nodded to Loki and stepped back out with Peter. “Looks like he’s asleep. I’ll see if I can get Loki to come out for lunch.” He quietly moved back into the room and tapped Loki. “Let’s leave him be for a while and get some lunch.” Loki carefully got up and followed him. “I’m not surprised he has a migraine. We found another trigger word yesterday.” Loki looked at him “You mean It’s not my fault?” Bruce’s expression softened. “No it’s not. Migraines are triggered by lots of stress. I will admit Jane showing up with you and the small scuffle might not have helped but I think it would have happened regardless of your presence. I’m glad he had someone with him when it hit though. He gets very aggressive sometimes.” Loki rolled their eyes “Oh yes I saw that perfectly clear when he made a scene in the lobby shortly after you two left us.” 

“I’m sorry that happened. Try not to take it personally. He’s had a lot go on. Hydra made a move for him twice.” Loki raised an eyebrow “Did they now?” He nodded “Yeah they tracked him down to the hospital when the snake bit and then when they tracked down Vivian. If Rocket hadn’t deactivated her breathing device Vivian would have killed Steve and taken him away.”   
“I see. Well perhaps I can alleviate that issue a little in time.” Bruce felt a shiver as he saw the murderous smile cross Loki’s face. 

A while later Bucky came back out now dressed in the Captain America pajamas. “What on earth are you wearing?” Bucky looked down as if he almost forgot. “Pajamas.” Loki rolled their eyes. “They look ridiculous.” Bruce smirked “we all have a pair. Peter got Ironman and I got Spiderman. They are quite comfy although I admit they are not the most flattering thing one could wear.” Loki nodded “On that we can agree.” Bucky shrugged and grabbed a bottle of water. “I make these look good.” Peter snorted “No you don’t. Nobody does. I bet not even Captain Rogers would look good in those.” Bucky smiled “Oh he looks good in everything AND nothing.” Peter shook his head “I don’t want to think of my childhood hero that way. Nope nope nope.” Bucky couldn’t hide the laugh. 

“I am inclined to agree with the spiderling. I do not wish to think of the Captain in such a way he reminds me too much of my brother.” Bucky now had a devilish grin “Yea i guess that is a bit weird especially since they are cuddle buddies.” Loki was now deep red. “Please. Stop . Now.” Bruce chuckled “You are giving him exactly what he wants. He is like Tony. Give him an inch he’ll take a yard.” Bucky cackled “I’ll bet Thor would take a yard of Steve any day.” Loki spit their drink at that as Peter blushed even more. “Ok James I think you have managed to mortify both Peter and Loki. Besides if you really want to know what Thor want’s ask Jane I’m sure she would happily tell you.” Loki glared “You are enjoying this aren’t you Banner?”   
“Yes, yes I am.”

They made their way back down stairs Bucky still wearing the Captain america pajamas. While in the artist area he found a pillow made to look like Cap’s shield and a plush of Mjolnir. Loki simply rolled their eyes. “You are unbelievably stupid sometimes James.” He shrugged “what you don’t want to be seen with Naptain America? Get it? Because I’m dressed as Steve, but it's pajamas and a pillow shield.” Peter was giggling and Bruce shook his head and smiled. Loki wrapped an arm around his waist and moved closer “You are a doofus.” He leaned into Loki a bit more “But am I your doofus?”   
“Perhaps I lay a certain degree of claim to you.” Bruce quietly took a picture of them wrapped together and sent it to Jane. “I think it worked.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading. Comments and Kudos are always appreciated.   
> Not gonna lie I'd love id anyone reading wanted to take a crack as some "naptain" america fan art ;) stay safe out there in the crazy world


	31. R-e-s-p-e-c-t

Saturday was full of panels and several game tournaments. Loki was helping Jane when the guys were busy. They didn't see each other until much later. Loki was now sporting a short white Dress, thigh high white heels and dark hair done up in buns not to mention a very curvy figure. Bucky whistled.

"Daaaamn doll. The force is strong with you." He stepped forward but Loki evaded him. "I did not invite you to lay hands on me. I'm going to a party with Jane after dinner." He raised an eyebrow. "That so? What kinda party doll?" Loki frowned "It's for women interested in science fiction." He nodded "nice."  
"You can't come." He sputtered a moment "why not?" Loki rolled their eyes "I already told you the party is for women." 

"You aren't a…." He stopped as Loki glared at him "care to finish that sentence James? I'm genderfluid I am just as much a man as I am a woman." He wrapped an arm around Loki's waist "sorry I didn't mean it that way I just...it's confusing sometimes. Shame I can't come along, I'm sure the gals would love me." He wiggled his eyebrows and Loki's frown deepened. "You are not the end all be all of existence despite what you seem to think." 

"How would you know? I haven't gotten past second base with you." Bruce buried his face in his hands. "Why are you choosing now to have an argument with your pants making all the decisions?" Bucky grinded his hips against Loki. "Because I think Loki has no right lookin that good and then questioning my prowess." Bruce cringed as Loki threw Bucky to the floor. "Listen to me now" they hissed "Just because I like you does not mean you have any right to do whatever you want with me. There is a time and a place we are NOT there right now."

"Damn ok ok. I hear ya, loud and clear I crossed a line. You couldn't keep your hands off me this morning. How was I supposed to know." Bruce walked over and helped him up. "Boundaries are allowed to change James. What was ok this morning one might not want this evening. Loki you have a wonderful time with Jane." Bucky nodded gruffly. "Have a nice night." Loki turned and left as Peter gapped at him.

"What the hell was that?" Bucky shrugged "I kinda thought we were ok now. Saw the outfit and thought they were sending out signals ya know?" Peter shook his head "No clearly Loki wanted to be a sexy princess Leia and you were a typical creepy horndog Han. They just wanted to look good for them and no one else." He sat down next to Peter "I..ok I'm sorry kid. I'm still getting used to some things and I clearly still have things to learn." Peter let out a sigh. "It's ok. You just gotta be more mindful and apologize to Loki when they get back. How about we check out the dance downstairs in a bit?"

Bruce smiled and shook his head "count me out. You guys are more than welcome to though. Just remember check out is tomorrow at 10 and I want to be out of this room getting breakfast at 9." They both nodded and scarfed down their dinner. They got cleaned up and headed downstairs.

After an hour Peter was starting to wonder if it was a good idea to have brought Bucky down. He was having a blast but all things considered he might be having too much of a blast. He felt someone tap his shoulder and saw Loki looking at him. "I was told you came down with James." Peter nodded "He's um.. over there… I'm pretty sure he's drunk." Loki rolled their eyes. As they made their way over they saw a woman practically in his lap talking to him. They decided to listen in and see what was being said before they jumped to conclusions.

Bucky was aware that the cute brunette in the starfleet dress had been steady sending him drinks. He happily accepted but was content to stay put. He watched as she finally made her way over and sat in his lap. "I'm kinda involved with someone toots" he slurred out. She giggled and moved to the arm of the chair. "Don't look too involved to me. You had no problem accepting the drinks I sent over." He smiled "makes ya feel better I'll pay. Homuch?" She grinned "Not much at all." She grabbed his collar and laid a hand on his groin as she forced her tongue in his mouth. He was pushing her back but between the drinks he had and her hand placement he was pinned. Suddenly someone tore her off from behind as he wiped his mouth and caught his breath. Loki hauled him out of the chair and held him up Peter was quickly at his other side helping him. 

Loki carefully laid him in bed as Peter grabbed Bruce to check on him. He pulled out his first aid kit and checked Bucky's eyes and placed the emergency bracelets Tony made on his wrists. "Friday can you scan and make sure his drink wasn't spiked?" There was a small pinch as the bracelet took a sample to scan and after a few minutes Bruce had a toxicology report on his phone. "Thankfully he's just drunk. Are you ok Loki?" They nodded and held Bucky close as he dozed in their arms. "I am. I hope he didn't do something stupid because of me." Peter shook his head "no i asked him to go. I thought it would be fun and it was until things got out of hand. I'm sorry. Thanks for helping me get him."

Loki smiled sweetly at Peter. "No need to apologize. He is allowed to do things on his own, it's part of having a life. I can take care of him from here thank you both of you." 

Bucky woke up with arms around him and at first panicked. At first he remembered the lady from the party. He jerked around to see Loki holding him close, a smile on their face as they slept. He relaxed against them and closed his eyes a while longer knowing it would be time to get up soon. He was surprised when he woke up to find Loki was already up and gone. He cleaned up, packed his bag, and headed down to breakfast with the others after he collected his flags from the window. 

Loki was sitting at the table with them laughing at something Peter said. They spotted him and quickly gestured to an open seat. Loki handed him a cup of coffee. "Feeling better this morning?" He nodded "yea thanks for getting that lady off me." They smiled warmly. "You're welcome. Here, have a muffin, it's chocolate with peanut butter inside." Loki passed him a plate with two on it. Bruce walked back over and sat down. "Rooms all squared away and Nat will be here at 3 to get us. Lets meet back here at 2:45."

They placed their items in bag check and everyone was off again to do their own last minute things. Loki led Bucky off to a screening room that was unoccupied. There was a movie playing but Loki didn't seem interested. Instead they drug Bucky into a chair and straddled his lap pulling him into a kiss. After a moment they seperated. "Doll you can't drag me to a dark room and kiss me like that it carries a certain weight." Loki shook their head. "I know. I need this." Loki was tugging at his clothes and it was then he put it together. "You get off on possibly getting caught don't you." 

It all made sense the times Loki was all over him they were in a somewhat public place. They wanted to be seen but not broadcast it outright. Loki responded with a moan as they continued to fumble with his belt. "I got it,calm down." Loki positioned themselves rather quickly and made quick work of everything. Bucky felt a shock of cold go through him that took his breath away as the both panted and moaned. Loki moved and he suddenly Bucked his hips and another wave of cold tore through him. He was brought back to earth by his phone ringing. "Shit it's Steve." Loki was adjusting their skirt as he answered the phone.

"Couldn't wait a few hours punk? what's going on?" Loki saw him nod as his expression became sullen. He hung up and sat quietly. "James is everything ok?" He was shaking as he pulled Loki close. "Sam's mom and sister…..someone burned their house down. It's all my fault. It had to be Hydra. I drew them to their home. They let me in and I brought pain and destruction." Loki laid a soft kiss on his neck. "Are they ok?" He nodded. "Gina's got some cuts and bruises from jumping out the window but they are ok. Sam's helping them salvage what they can and Tony's helping to find them a place to stay. I swear if Hydra hurts her I will make them regret it. They don't touch mama bear and get off easy." 

Loki smiled at the nickname. "Mama bear?" He blushed a bit. "She um…. She called me daddy bear and it kinda stuck." Loki smirked "sounds like I have competition." He shook his head. "Nah. I mean she's great but I don't think it's a competition." Loki was looking deep into his eyes. "You clearly love her. Just like you love me. You even have intimate thoughts about her." He jumped back a little. "Are you reading my mind?" Loki nodded "yes. You project them loud and clear. I'm not angry. She seems wonderful, charming even."

He let out a sigh. "I enjoy your company too ya know." Loki leaned a head on his shoulder "Of that I have no doubt. You are a very loving person. Physically and emotionally. Whatever happens I feel we will share some form of bond. you have quite a way with people. Now let's find the others."

When they found Bruce a while later he took one look at them and laughed. "You two are unbelievable." Bucky looked at him "whadaya mean?" He grinned "The big guy is more perceptive than people realize. I guess as long as you weren't caught no harm no foul." Loki nodded and winked as they waited for Peter to meet them. Loki gave Bucky a peck on the cheek. "Jane and I have a flight to catch. Call me." Bruce patted his back. "All things considered good weekend?"  
"Yea good weekend."  
"Great because your pants are on backwards and you have lipstick on your face."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading comments and kudos are very much appreciated   
> Stay safe


	32. and offer you can't refuse

After a few weeks of fussing and searching Gina and Bea both insisted they wanted the house restored and they would be going back. Tony made some calls but even the best contractors would have months of work ahead of them. Gina's accounting work made it easy for her to pick up and move anywhere as she worked from home and Sam happily opened his home to them. Bea had other ideas.

"Captain Rogers offered for us to stay in New York." Gina rolled her eyes. "I don't think he thought you would take him up on it. Besides Sam is closer to the house in case we need to check in on things." Sam chuckled "if ma wants to make Steve eat his words let her. Bucky will be happy to see her." She smiled "fine ma you can go stay with your boyfriend for a while. I'm going to stay here with Sam."

Steve left to pick Sam up from the airport just like he did once a month. He didn't expect to see an older woman walking with him. "Sam, good to see you. This must be Beatrice. Pleasure to meet you ma'am." She giggled as she held out a hand. "He is too cute Sammy. Please call me ma." Steve smiled "if you say so ma" He said with a wink but Sam still saw the blush in his cheeks. "Oh I like him he catches on quickly." Sam shook his head "You rolled over too easy for her man." Steve smiled "I can be easy for the right person." 

"No, don't you start too. It's bad enough when Barnes does it-"  
"That's because he means it. I'm only teasing Sam. " Bea chuckled as they settled into the car. "Learn to play the game baby and you'll have fun too." Sam rolled his eyes as he smiled wondering what kind of monster he created.

Bucky had no clue Bea was coming. Sam figured it would be a nice surprise. Friday let him know Steve was back and he waited on the common floor for them. When Bea stepped out he nearly tripped over himself as he went over wrapping her in a hug and spinning her around. "Mama bear" he growled as he sat her down. She patted his cheek "Daddy bear. I told you I'd be back." He kissed the top of her head. "I'm so sorry for what I brought to your doorstep."

"Honey I don't blame you one bit. Besides, Mr. Stark was kind enough to cover the restoration. I finally get my wrap around porch and the attic is gonna be another guest room so Sammy doesn't have to make an excuse as to why both you and Steve can't come visit with him." He chuckled "Well I'm gonna hold Sam to that. Gonna have to have a big house warmin' party for ya when it's done." Steve came back from dropping off Bea's bags and clapped his hands together. "Ma I would love to treat you and Sam to dinner this evening. I know you like to cook but tonight is your night off. How does Thai food sound?" 

Sam couldn't help but smile "That's Steve's go to food but the place he orders from is great. You'll love it. Anyone else joining us?" Steve checked his phone "looks like Nat's at Barton's Thor is of course still in New Mexico, Bruce is on a conference call with Helen and Looks like Tony and his are not back from Morgan's tap class. So just us for now." He nodded and they settled at the table. Bea was digging around the cabinets.

"Mama bear this is your night off captain said so." She turned and placed a hand on her hip. "No meal is complete without dessert." Steve walked over and laid a hand on her shoulder "I have it handled. Relax." As he walked back to the table she swatted him with the spoon in her hand causing him to let out a yelp. "Careful there Steve doesn't have enough padding to handle a playful smack." Sam and Bucky snickered as Bea joined them at the table. "So Bucky tells me your father worked with Gabe." She smiled warmly "He did. Served in Korea with him and they kept in touch afterwards. He was a nice man.” 

When dinner arrived Bruce had just wandered into the kitchen. “Bruce, care to join us? We have plenty. I even ordered pastries from that place you like.” He smiled and sat down with them “Hey Sam, Beatrice. How are you guys? I was sorry to hear about the house.” She smiled “All things considered we are good. Thankfully we could save the items in the basement and the first floor. Second and the attic were a loss as was the furniture but we walked away with our life so that more than I could hope for. Mr. Stark has been more than generous with the restoration.” They chatted about the house and plans for new furniture. Tony appeared in the doorway with Pepper. “Friday told us we had company. I see someone took Steve up on his offer.”

Bea held out her hand and Tony quickly gave it a kiss. “This must be mama Wilson. Pleasure to meet you finally.” She giggled “I like this one too.” She looked over at Pepper and smiled “Is he always this charming or is this a show?” Pepper shrugged “He has his moments. Nice to meet you Beatrice, I’m Pepper.” Steve pointed to the open chairs at the table “We were about to have dessert want to join us? Is Morgan in bed?” Pepper took a seat and Tony followed her. “Yea we just put her in bed and then came here. We figured it would be hard to get her down if she was distracted by visitors. Are you staying until the house is finished or just for a little while?”

“Straight to business, I see why you wear the pants Pepper. As long as you will have me I would like to stay but I can always go back to Washington with Sam if you get sick of me and don’t be afraid to tell me.” She smiled “I don’t think I will get tired of you. I’ve put up with Tony for over 10 years and I married him so if I still have him I can handle anyone.” Tony scoffed “Are you trying to say I’m difficult?” She patted his arm “Well I wouldn’t say difficult more like-”  
“Annoying?” He squawked at Bruce who winked at Pepper. “We love you Tony.” He waved Bruce off “Yea yea you only say that cuz I buy all the food and you don’t pay rent.” 

Bucky got up and fixed himself some more coffee and a cup for Bea. She wrapped an arm around his waist and leaned her head against him “Thank you Daddy bear.” Tony began to choke on his drink. “What did she just call you??” Bucky laughed “She’s my mama bear so I’m her daddy bear. What are you jealous Stark?” He shook his head “I’m not sure jealous is the feeling I have in mind.” Bea grinned “aw I bet you were one of those that refused to believe your parents had sex for fun too aren’t you.” They could see the blush on tony’s neck and cheeks. Bucky laughed “I could tell you things about Howard that would make you turn as red as your armor.” Tony stiffened and rolled his eyes. “Dad was too straight laced for that.”

Steve nearly choked and Bucky was near hysterical. “Ooooooh man. Your dad had just as much of a playboy reputation as you have.” Bruce looked between Tony and Bucky and finally spoke. “Well now ya gotta tell him.” Tony stared “What? What does he have to tell me? I don’t need any more secrets about my dad coming from Barnes.” At this Steve was laughing so hard he was turning colors. Bucky cleared his throat. “Your old man was willing to try anything once when it came to the sack. I don;t know what he was like with your mom but when we knew him, let's just say I have hands-on experience.” Tony gasped “NO. you gotta be lying.” Steve let out one last wheezing laugh “He’s not. I walked in on it. They were in MY room at the barracks. Need I remind you I have an eidetic memory so I still have that image seared into my brain.” 

“I think I was better off not knowing anything about my dad prior to 1970.” Pepper smiled. “Tony I’ve seen the pictures from the old stark expos you didn’t think anything of the fact that he was always wrapped around a beautiful woman in EVERY one?”Steve chuckled. “This is better than the day he found out I wasn’t some prudish virgin.” Tony responded by getting up from the table and leaving. “He’ll be back, you know he has to go pout.” 

They continued to laugh and talk until Pepper looked at the clock. “It’s after midnight I think I should be going to bed.” Bruce nodded “same good night everyone.” Steve and Sam got up from the couch and looked over at Bea. Bucky was asleep next to her as she ran her hands through his hair. “Ma we should wake him up. “ She nodded and gave him a gentle nudge. “Let’s go to bed, it’s late.” As she stood up Bucky wrapped his arms around her and pulled her onto his lap. “I need a good night kiss first.” Steve rolled his eyes. “Now you know what they were like for a whole two weeks.” They all headed for the elevator. “Buck has always been a real charmer.” Sam nodded “So i’m seeing. Sometimes I don’t think he realizes he’s doing it but he KNOWS he’s doing it when my mom is involved.” He shot a look over at the two of them wrapped around each other. “Leave room for Jesus.”  
“I’m an atheist pal.” Steve snorted out a laugh and got off at his floor. “Good night try not to kill each other before breakfast ok? Sam I’ll call you at 7 for a run?” He nodded “Yea sure thing night Steve.”   
“Night Stevie”  
“Night sugar bear.” Bucky looked over at Bea “Oh he gets to be sugar bear?” She smiled “yes he does. Now get to bed.” She swatted at his rear and gave Sam a hug. “Night Sammy.” 

Sure enough the next morning Bucky heard Sam get up at the crack of dawn and make his way out with Steve to go for a run. Bucky snuggled down into his blankets until he heard music in his living room a while later. Bea was up and making a pot of coffee as she bounced around the kitchen. He pried himself from the bed and quietly stepped out. For the first time he saw Bea in her pajamas. Her hair was tied back and her gown hung off her shoulders a bit. He couldn't help the whistle he let out. She turned to him and smiled. “I wasn’t sure you would be up so early.” He sat down at the couch and was surprised when she sat right in his lap. “I’m a light sleeper, especially when I know people are up and about.” She wrapped around him “How long till they get back?” She purred at him. 

“He looked at his watch. They normally show back up around 10. Why? you got idea’s?” She snuggled closer to him and he adjusted so he was lying back a bit. “No hard plans at the moment.” As she said this he felt her hand move closer to the inside of his thigh. She began to chuckle. “I’m only teasing. I just like having some quiet time with you.” He nodded “I like that too. Maybe we can check out the zoo today since we couldn’t go last time. Shouldn't be too crowded now that the kids are back in school.” She hummed as she listened to him talk about seeing things around the city. “Sound’s good to me.” After a while she patted his leg. “Lets start breakfast for the boys.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading kudos and comments very much appreciated. I hope you all are taking care of yourselves right now.


	33. Empty nest

The next couple weeks Bea was more than settled in with the others. She and Wanda loved cooking together, she would talk with Bruce about his work. He was surprised to learn that Bea was interested in becoming a science teacher but never had the chance to go to college. She had no problem helping with Morgan if Tony and Pepper were busy and she all but adopted Peter. 

Steve loved getting to see Bucky out of his shell. Bea had this energy that made anyone feel safe. He got the same feeling from Sam when he met him. He grabbed his gear and gave them both a hug. "Take care of him Bea. We'll be back soon." Bucky grinned "kick some ass out there Stevie." He patted his back and left with the others. 

"Well we have a few days to ourselves. Got an empty nest as it were. What would you like to do?" Bea hugged herself close. "I can't shake the feeling that he shouldn't have gone." Bucky nodded "I feel that way every time he leaves but he's tough. How about we go to the farmers market today. It's the last one of the season. They probably have some good deals on apples." She smiled and grabbed her jacket. "Sounds like a plan." 

They walked hand in hand down to the market. Most of the vendors knew them by name at this point. They looked over each stand picking out some things to cook for the week. Bea smiled "I haven't canned my own fruit preserves in a while. That could keep us busy for an afternoon or two." She and Bucky went through and picked out more fruits and made arrangements to have them delivered to the tower later. They headed to the store to get jars and other supplies to cann things. 

Bucky smiled as they set everything up on the counter. "My ma and Steve's ma would cann things at the end of summer. Came in real handy in the winter especially when Sarah had to choose between work and Steve. They would spend the better part of a weekend prepping and cooking. Steve always got to do the labels because his handwriting was so nice." He let out a deep sigh. Family memories could be tough sometimes but Sam taught him that talking through them was better.

Bea placed a hand on the small of his back bringing him out of his thoughts. "We got a lot of work to do, best get crackin'." After a few hours of work the counter was full with several dozen jars. He sat and watched her carefully label the jars. Her handwriting was neat and curly as she finished a label she carefully blew on it so it was dry and didn't smudge.

Over the next two weeks he helped Bea make blankets for all of the tower residents as well as some extra blankets for her family for Christmas. He quickly learned where every craft shop in the city was. Bea had him up in the morning and he quickly settled into a routine with her. On Friday night they went out to a movie and dinner. When they came back he and Bea settled in for the night. He was sitting on the couch watching tv when Bea came out and curled up with him. 

"It's so nice having someone to share my evenings with but I gotta say, my bed's been pretty cold and lonely." Bucky looked at her "you askin' me to go to bed with you? I thought we weren't serious." She chuckled "It doesn't have to be serious. I see the way you look at me. I may be 70 but I'm not dead. Nothing wrong with a little roll in the hay. Not like you have to worry about getting me in trouble." He shifted on the couch. "How about we share some space tonight and go from there. I don't want to mess things up." She patted his cheek "fine by me. We can just cuddle." 

He led her to his room. She looked at the Ragged blanket on the bed as he carefully folded it and moved it to the side. "You miss him when he's gone don't you?" He nodded "He's my family. I always worry when he's gone. He can be pretty stupid sometimes." They sat on the bed and talked for a while. He was soon settled, his arms wrapped around Bea holding her close. He ran his hands along her body despite her age, she was in amazing shape. He smiled when she linked her hands with his. She wasn't afraid of him. 

He kissed the back of her neck and pulled her as close as possible breathing in the scent of her perfume. Bea turned to face him a little more and Kissed him. They held each other the rest of the night until he heard the team arriving in a flurry of noise. Before he could get up Sam came bursting into his room. "Barnes we need you no-" he froze as he looked over them. "We'll discuss this later. We need you in the med bay. " he was immediately up and following Sam. 

"What happened?" Sam shook his head. He looked pale and bruised. "The whole building went down and Steve was in the basement. Took us a day or so to find him. It's not pretty. He's got some chemical burns and internal bleeding. Serum's working overtime but i think its focus is on the organ damage and not the tissue. Helen is worried about putting him in the cradle because we don't know how the serum will handle it." They entered the med bay and he saw Nat carefully holding Steve's bandaged hand. 

"They just put him under again. Helen is gonna change the bandages in an hour. I never want to see any part of Steve's bones again." She shuddered as she spoke. "I've got it from here Nat. Go get some rest and a shower." She stood and gave him a hug. Once she left Sam looked at him. "Did I interrupt something?" 

"No. We were only cuddling. It was her idea. Not mine." He nodded "That's fine. I'm more ok with it than I think I should be. I guess I'm glad she's happy." He nodded and took Steve's hand. "You get some rest too. I'll take care of Steve."

He spent the better part of the day watching Steve heal and sleep. Bea came in for a while and helped clean him up where they could. She placed the blanket they made over him and left to take care of the others. Steve was awake by the evening but not for long periods of time. "Hey punk, ya gotta stop scarin' me." Steve smiled a little "just in time for halloween huh? Nice blanket." He smiled and tucked it around him more. "Yea I helped Bea make one for everyone on the team. We also helped make Morgan's halloween costume. You get some rest. I'll be here when you wake up again. I'll always be here." He held Steve's hand tight and let out a shakey breath. "Till the end of the line pal."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading kudos and comments always appreciated.   
> Take care of yourselves and stay safe


	34. baggage

Their daily routine changed with Steve being back. Bea still got him up in the morning. They fixed breakfast for the tower residents and then Bea went to take care of Steve. If she wasn't busy she was with him. Clint was the first to say something.

"I'm getting the feeling that you are a little jealous of Bea taking care of him." Bucky growled and scrubbed his hands over his face. "I don't know. It's so stupid. I just….. we had a nice routine the last two weeks and then Steve gets himself pulverized by a building and suddenly it's like I don't exist and I love her and I love Steve and I want them to be close but I don't know." Clint passed him another beer. "I remember getting jealous when Nat and Steve started hanging out, I had not had to share Nat and I was so surprised that she and Steve latched onto each other so quickly, so easily. For a while I was worried it might have even been serious. I finally got my head outta my butt and realized that the people I know and love are gonna have a life, besides, Laura helped me work out my frustration. Maybe you need to have someone work things out with you." He nodded and sat back. Maybe he did.

He knew what Clint was hinting at but he didn’t want to go that route. Instead he was hanging out with Bruce playing skyrim. “Sounds like you might need to just talk to her? I mean you are both adults if you feel like you want some more affection from her maybe just spell it out. Although I’m sure Loki would be happy to hear from you.” He let out a sigh. “I don’t know if I want Loki and Bea in the same place. The last thing I need is for Sam’s mom to get caught up in my drama.” Bruce chuckled “I don’t think there will be drama. She might be able to help both of you. Either that or they will both spoil you rotten.” He smiled at the thought. He liked having people to spoil him. They played for a few more hours until he got a text from Nat. “Your mama bear is looking for you……..so is your side chick or whatever you call them.” 

He hopped up from the couch “Shit. I gotta go.” He bolted for the door only to find Loki standing in the doorway when he opened it. “Oh hey Loki...how are things?” Loki smiled “Things are well. I figured with halloween approaching I might drop in for a visit with my favorite monster.” He smiled and stepped into the hall. “That so?” Loki nodded “Yes that’s so. Although I was finally able to meet Mrs Beatrice. I can see why you like her, she is quite enjoyable. Why have you not bedded her?” He couldn’t help the burning in his cheeks. “I um.. It’s kinda complicated I really want to but I just don’t want to ruin it?”

“That sounds like more of a question. Has she not offered?” they stepped onto the elevator “Of course she did I mean she’s been sleepin’ in my bed with me for a week now. I just… I don’t know.” Loki grinned mischievously “I am aware I am a hard act to follow if that's what the problem is. Please know I don’t want anything permanent with anyone. I live far too long to get tangled up with another person and I don’t mind sharing.” The elevator door opened and he stepped out into the common area. Steve was sitting in the chair reading and Bea was at the stove. 

“There you are. Loki said they would find you.” He smiled “I was hanging with Bruce for a bit. You seemed like you had your hands full.” She turned and placed a hand on her hip. “I only have my hands full when they are wrapped around you isn't that right Loki.” Loki responded with a smirk and made a grab for Bucky’s ass. “Really? I’ve got it coming from both sides now?”   
“I’m down with that” Bea cackled. Steve wasn’t quite expecting that response and began to choke on his drink. She came over and handed him a napkin. “Don’t let a little orange juice take you out after all you just went through Sugar Bear.” He wiped his mouth and smiled. “Sorry I just wasn’t prepared for the two of you tag teaming Bucky’s …..frustrations so openly.” 

Bea returned to the stove. “Well until he gets properly laid and isn’t as wound as a top you will have to deal with it. Speaking of which-”  
“NO.” Steve was trying to move out of the chair he reached for his crutch which Loki had already snatched out of his reach. “Afraid to get into a little dirty talk Captain? Come now we are all adults here.” Loi was now perched in Steve’s Lap a hand placed on his chest. They quickly changed form and he was being stared down by A brunette with bright red lipstick. Steve stiffened and Bucky froze “Off….NOW.” He tossed Loki to the floor and staggered out of the chair leaving the crutch as he limped off. 

Loki adjusted themselves “Did I do something wrong? I only acted on what he wanted.” Bucky shook his head. That’s the problem. He’s held a torch for Peg for so long. If He hadn;t gone in the ice I know he would have had a life with her.” Loki was silent for a while. “I should go apologize shouldn’t I?” Bucky grabbed their arm. “No. not empty handed. Peg based emotional issues require this.” He turned to the freezer and dug around pulling out a carton from the back and grabbing a box of cookies from the cabinet. “Butter scotch ice cream and Snicker-doodles, with Strawberry syrup. Now you can go apologize to him.” Loki nodded and marched into the elevator. “I like them, they are feisty.” He smiled and shook his head. “You two might actually kill me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry short chapter hopefully more soon :) hope everyone is safe and healthy  
> thanks for reading kudos and comments are appreciated. check out my other works too if you want something else to read :)


	35. warm and fuzzy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> we take a little detour of sorts this chapter is just Loki and Steve.

Loki found Steve in his room with the door closed. He carefully knocked and waited. “Go away.” He then turned the music that was playing up louder. Loki knocked again. “I said GO AWAY.” he was shouting to be heard over the music now. Loki huffed and pounded on the door once more. “If you don;t open up this ice cream is going to go to waste and I don't think either of us want that.” He heard the music go down a little and footsteps coming towards the door. Steve opened it a little and peered out. “What kind of ice cream?”

Loki held up the tub “Butterscotch with snicker doodles and strawberry syrup.” Steve opened the door a little more. “Bucky sent you with that?” Loki nodded “He said it was the only way to make my slight right. I was not aware that you feelings for Ms. Carter was a sore spot. I hadn’t even really intended to look like her. I was half expecting it to be….someone else.” Steve raised an eyebrow. “That so? And who did you have in mind?” Loki smirked “well I narrowed it down to either Sergeant Barnes or Natasha.” Steve rolled his eyes.

“Why does everyone think there's something between Natasha and I? She's a great person but I’m not interested in her that way.” Loki followed him to the counter and sat the items down. “I see, you aren’t surprised that I inferred there was something between you and the sergeant?” He laughed “No. that’s been said so many times it doesn’t phase me. Yes Bucky and I...experimented with each other but it was two friends who felt safe enough to try things together. At the end of the day it wasn’t for me and Bucky and I are still thick as thieves.” Loki nodded. “I see. I guess it is a nice concept.” They sat in silence as Steve ate the apology ice cream. Finally he spoke up.

“So um… mind if I ask why Bucky? I mean I know he’s really damn charming but I don’t know he just didn’t seem like your type.”   
“My type? I wasn’t aware I had a type. I can’t really explain it honestly. He’s just so...different. He fascinates me. It does help that he doesn’t shy away from my touch. I run rather cold being a frost giant and all.” Steve cocked his head “A what?” Loki seemed surprised that he didn't know. “Somehow I thought Thor would have told you all about that when I invaded with the chitauri.” He shook his head “No he didn’t mention much. He was very defensive about you. You don’t look like a giant though I mean you are fairly….normal in appearance.” 

Loki chuckled “Ah Captain, you are so innocent when it comes to magic. I use magic to hide myself.” Steve nodded “Oh ok. Can Thor use magic too?” Loki scoffed “No.. with exception of Odin where I come from magic, sedir, was a woman's art just as being a warrior was a man's art. I am trained in both much to the dismay of many but as you are aware I am much more skilled with my magic.”   
“I mean you still fight well. You nearly kicked my ass in Germany. Might have had Stark not dropped in.” Loki smiled “I will take that as a compliment Captain. I would not last long against a warrior such as Thor but I surmise I could hold my own by midgardian standards.”  
“So um….. Can I see what you...um what you look like….normally?” 

Loki blinked at him a few times their mouth agape. “You...why? Why on earth would you want to see….THAT?” He put his hands up defensively “I didn’t mean any offence I just...I want to know the real you? I’m curious. I don’t want to make fun of you it’s just ya know I never imagined growing up that gods and other ...beings were real.” Loki let out a shaky breath “I see. Well. I shall show you BUT, what you see does not leave this room. You tell no one.”  
“Yea I can do that. Secrets safe with me.” He watched as Loki carefully stepped back. Their form became a little taller, a little more gaunt. Their skin was now a shade of light icy blue and their eyes were deep red. He took note of the slightly darker markings on Loki’s body.

“My god...you’re….amazing...can...would you be ok if..I want to draw you.. Like...oh my god the markings and the color….you look so...gorgeous.” Loki took a step back “You...like this? This cursed form is...appealing to you?” Steve stood and moved closer “It’s you...the real you. I like it. It’s spectacular.” Loki was still confused “But...I am a monster...I’m hideous. Why would anyone like to see this.” He shrugged “It’s different, I like different, I mean that is to say I… You aren’t some typical boring human. I won’t show anyone the drawing I just wanted to ask before I did it.” Loki shrugged and resumed their preferred appearance. “You and Sergeant Barnes are so odd. Many in your place would have shunned me.” Steve grinned “Well, I don’t give up on people very easily and I don’t know when to turn tail and run so you are stuck with me thinking you look amazing when you are a blue giant with red eyes. Can I ask why you aren’t that much taller as a giant?” 

“I am a runt. I was born weak and sick so my family placed me in the temple in the hopes that I would be blessed to survive. Instead Odin found me and took me home thinking Lauffey was careless with his child and he had hit the political jackpot. Sadly it was only disappointment from then on.” Steve smiled “Looks to me like you got better. I know what it’s like to be the runt.” Loki smiled “Yes everyone tells the tales of the great Captain America, the little guy who refused to give up and allowed the army to use him as a lab rat turning him into a strong brave and perfect hero.” He couldn't help but laugh at Loki’s way of telling it. “Well I wouldn’t say perfect. I still suck at talking to women, I get motion sick still and I get migraines quite easily, let’s not forget the fact that most pain medicine is useless on me and they only use the big stuff if I'm in dire straits. Sure I’m strong but I’m not perfect. No one really is.” 

Loki took the empty ice cream bowls and placed them in the sink. “Well I think this makes up for my faux pas earlier. I am going to rejoin James and Beatrice upstairs. She said to let you know that dinner would be ready at 6 and Miss Morgan would like you to see her halloween costume afterwards.” He nodded “Ok i’m gonna go down to the gym for a bit but I’ll be at dinner. Thanks for cheering me up. Sorry if I acted like a bit of an as.”   
“No worries Captain. You had every right. I will remember that it is a tender subject.” Loki left him and stepped in the elevator. When the doors closed Loki hugged themself tightly. “He doesn’t think I’m a monster either.” The thought was warming and even comforting after spending hundreds if not thousands of years being told that frost giants were hideous and horrible. Perhaps Thor’s affection for the people of midgard was not as misguided as previously thought. They did enjoy Darcy's company and even Jane was tolerable. It made them almost sad to know their life span was such a small blip in the grand scheme of their existence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading kudos and comments are always appreciated. stay safe and stay healthy. hopefully i will be back to updating a bit more frequently


	36. dinner dates

Dinner was an interesting affair. Tony was finally the one to address the Matter "Soooo everyone's cool with Barnes having two people fawning all over him at the table? I mean if i didn't know any better I'd swear they were having a competition." Bruce smirked as Loki adjusted in Bucky's lap "well I told you we needed more chairs now that Morgan is using a big girl seat. Besides it's nice." 

Bea giggled as Tony became more flustered "he's just jealous that we are having more fun than he is. We always have room for you and Pepper." He opened his mouth but no sound came out. Pepper shot them a warning look "well we better reign it in mama bear. I don't want to be on Peppers bad side." Loki hummed in agreement. "Was Barnes always like this Steve?" 

He chuckled "not in our day. That would have gotten him arrested." Peter's eyes went wide "really?" He nodded "there were laws against so many things back then. My ma broke plenty of them and taught me to break them but Bucky was always a bit more careful." Morgan looked at him "why did your mom break laws? I thought we had to follow them." He smiled "well a long long time ago some of the laws we had were made by people who were mean. Ladies were not allowed to do so many things because the men in charge didn't like it. They also made laws about who could love each other and even how people of different skin colors couldn't have any rights. The laws were unfair so we felt it was ok to break them." Tony rolled his eyes "great Steve now my kid's gonna be an anarchist."

Bucky laughed "Steve has that effect on people." Morgan looked over at her father "what's an anarist?" Pepper smiled "no sweetie an anarchist, it's someone who generally opposes rules and people in charge in many cases it's because they feel people are being treated unfairly." 

"That is quite the diplomatic way of putting it Pepper. That said, miss Morgan, anarchists tend to incite chaos to make change. Sometimes by violent means. It is always wise to fight for a cause in ways that do not detract from your cause." Bruce raised an eyebrow "perhaps this is a conversation for when she's a little older?" Tony threw up his hands "thank you Bruce. someone with sense." 

"My husband and I started our kids early in activism. There are lots of resources out there for kids should Morgan really be interested. There's always a good fight to fight and it's gonna be her world one day so she should have a voice sooner than later."  
"Thank you Bea Tony and I will keep that in mind." Bucky laced his hand with hers "see that's what I like in a gal. Always ready to fight." She smiled "I can think of a few other t things you like in a gal but they aren't for present company. How about we clean this up so Morgan can show Steve her Halloween costume we made." He nodded and they began to clean things up. 

"Can I show them mine too Mrs. Beatrice?" She smiled at Peter "Of course. I just finished it this afternoon." He and Morgan quickly raced off to get their costumes. "They are just gonna look so cute tomorrow aren't they?" Tony took the dishes from her "They are always cute, especially my little Morgan." She patted his cheek "Of course she is."

A few moments later Peter and Morgan came bounding into the room. Steve looked up from his sketchbook and laughed. "Tony's gonna kill you." Pepper knelt down "pumpkin you look great. So do you Peter. These costumes look fantastic." Tony came back into the room and froze. "My kid is dressed like you." Peter then puffed out his chest "and I'm dressed as Captain America. Matching costumes means more candy." Steve stood up "you can't go out dressed like that Peter." He looked over, completely panicked "what?"  
"You can't go out like that. Not without the shield." He grinned at Peter "you just gotta be careful with it." His face lit up "are you serious?" He nodded "of course I'm serious." 

Peter whooped and cheered as he and Morgan raced around the room. Tony scooped Morgan up. "Well now that things are settled it's time for you to go to bed." She pouted but didn't argue. He and Pepper wished everyone good night and took Morgan to bed. Peter said his good nights and left shortly after. Loki and Bruce were drying the dishes and putting them away and Steve was drawing in his book. 

Bea wrapped her arms around Bucky's waist and nuzzled her face in his neck. "How about we slip away for some dessert?" He grinned "I think that sounds like a great idea Mama bear." They snuck off without another word. Steve looked up as they left and smiled to himself. 

Loki finished with the dishes and turned around. "Where are James and Beatrice?" Steve looked up "I believe I heard her mention something about dessert." Loki nodded "I see. I guess I snooze I lose." Bruce patted their shoulder "Bea doesn't seem to mind extras perhaps you should test that theory?" Loki shook their head. "No. I'm not a prude but I don't particularly have the confidence for a threesome."  
"I thought that was a normal thing on Asgard." Loki scoffed at Steve. "Not for me it was not. While there were many festivals that lauded orgies I was never included in those activities. It's just as well. It may have resulted in some rather awkward discoveries on my part. Intimacy makes it difficult for me to hide my true form."   
"Ah yeah that would be awkward."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading stay safe and stay healthy   
> kudos and comments greatly appreciated  
> check out my other works :D


	37. Trick or treat?

Bucky was surprised when he woke up sandwiched between Bea and Loki. He carefully nudged Bea. She smiled when she opened her eyes. “I see you two have an understanding?” He gestured to Loki who was wrapped around him softly snoring into his hair. “They seemed kinda lonely and lost and since you were already asleep I figured it would be fine. “You didn’t have a nightmare at all last night though. Normally you do a lot of shouting in your sleep.” 

“That so? I hope I haven’t been keeping you up.” She shook her head “No no, I’ve dealt with my share of nightmares. My daddy had them after Korea and Sammy had them when he first got back after he lost Riley. Well since I’m up I guess it’s time for a pot of coffee. Loki sat up,still holding Bucky “Coffee sounds wonderful right now.” There was a knock at the bedroom door and then Thor stepped inside. 

“I apologize for the intrusion I need to Speak with Loki. It is rather...urgent.” Loki rolled their eyes “Can you at least wait until I have had my coffee?” Thor looked nervous. “Well perhaps but not a moment sooner.” Bucky stood up and grabbed a shirt. “What’s got you spooked big guy? Don’t tell me all the halloween ghosts and goblins got to you?"

Thor pulled up a chair. "Not quite but your celebration is somewhat related." Loki sat down at the table with them while Bea fixed a pot of coffee and Bucky got mugs out. "Well what is it then?"   
"Hela sent word a head she is coming to visit. She has been keeping an eye on us." Loki nodded as Thor continued. "Her letter says she wishes to speak to your suitor as it is her job as the eldest of the family." Bucky raised an eyebrow "you tellin me im 'bout to get the shovel talk from your sister Lokes?" 

"It would appear so. Hela is not as nice as Thor or I. She is the goddess of death for a reason." He grinned "I've dealt with my share of those kind of sisters." Thor shook his head "She is a very persuasive person. She always gets what she wants." He smirked "so what does she want?" Loki was watching Thor carefully "she has requested that as your bonded brother the captain be her escort while she is here."

"Ok so Stece has to show her around how bad can it be?" Loki now looked nervous "my sister is a bit intense. If you get my drift." 

"Yea and Stevie is a big boy. He doesn't let anyone manhandle him. I'm sure he will be fine. When does she arrive?" Thor pulled a piece of paper out. "She arrives at noon. I shall alert Steve that she has requested his presence. I shall see you all later." He bowed and left them. No sooner had he left a video call came in from Tony.

"Good morning, just wanted to let you all know Bea's house should be repaired and re-furnished in two weeks so hey you'll be home for Thanksgiving." She smiled "Thank you Anthony. I will let Sam and Gina know." He gave a quick salute and ended the call. "Well looks like you two will have to come over for Thanksgiving. The attic should have plenty of room for you two and Steve." Loki smiled "that sounds lovely Beatrice." Bucky smiled sadly. "Gonna miss havin' you around here mama bear." She wrapped him in a hug. "Well you always gave a room in my home and a spot in my bed but I'm sure Loki is more than up to the task of keeping you warm aren't you?"

"Of course."

Thor returned at 11:30 with Steve in tow. "Why does your death goddess sister want me?" Thor chuckled "Captain you have illuded death many times by the skin of your teeth. My sister does not like being cheated. If she cannot have you in death she will try other ways." He stopped "what do you mean other ways?" Bucky walked over and slapped his shoulder "he means you might get laid." 

Steve was now deep red. "Was this you idea?" He pointed at Loki and Bea. "Not at all Captain. This was Hela's own idea. It is easy for her to travel between worlds right now and apparently she felt the need to give James the, what was it, the shovel talk?" Steve laughed "some things never change. Buck you still got protective siblings comin after ya." Bea snickered "I know anyone would come after him." 

Loki began to laugh as Steve eventually got her meaning and turned even deeper red. "Sam must take after his father because I have never heard him talk like this." Bea walked over and pinched his butt. "I'm old and I have no need for a filter besides sugar bear, I think it's cute to watch your cheeks get all rosey. Does that blush go alllllllllll the way down?" She now had him backed against the counter. Buck, Loki,and Thor were laughing as he tried to handle Bea's playful advances with dignity.

They were quickly drawn to a figure appearing on the balcony. Thor and Loki quickly moved to open the door and let her in. "Sister It has been too long. How are things?" She smiled at Thor for a moment "I guess I can't complain." She looked over at Bucky. "So this is the one my sibling has currently bedded. Interesting specimen. Do you plan on bearing his child?" 

Steve couldn't help but spit his drink. Bucky looked over at Loki "No. Kids were not part of the deal." Hela frowned. "Well sooner or later one of you needs an heir." Loki moved over towards Bucky. "Sister you are in no position to question our lack of heirs." She smiled. "Maybe with luck I will be in a position to fix that." She licked her lips and looked over at Steve who paled. "Um… ma'am I don't make it a habit to get in bed with someone I barely know."

"Well then we won't use a bed." Bucky was trying to control his laughter as Hela advanced on Steve. "I think Captain, you will find I can be the exception to many rules. Come, I would like to see your city. This New York seems to be quite regarded in your realm. Don't wait up for us." She took Steve's arm and marched him towards the door. "Ta-ta" She purred as she waved back at them.

"Is he gonna be alright?" Thor nodded "I'm sure Steven will be fine." Bucky looked at him skeptically. "You certain of that Thor?" He shifted nervously. "Perhaps you should keep an eye on her. Make sure to bring them back for the party later. We can keep an eye on them better." Thor nodded and left after them. 

Bea shook her head. "Nice boy like Steve can't find himself anybody?" Bucky shrugged "Steve's always been a hard case in that department. Not much for the physical side of things. Ask Tasha she said he was Stiff as a board when she kissed him." Loki looked up from their book. "Did it ever occur to you that Steve is possibly on the asexual spectrum atleast? The man is built like a god, men and women both throw themselves at him and he simply ignores it. If it were Stark or even you wouldn't you entertain the option?" 

Bucky was aware that there were so many new words for how people were oriented he just never really thought about the possibility of applying one to Steve. "Wow… I guess you could be right. I mean those phrases didn't exactly exist in our younger days. He could have told me." Loki put the book away "It is very likely he does not know it himself. Midgard is still so closed minded about identities that he may not have felt comfortable to explore. You would do well to talk with him privately perhaps?" Bea nodded "I'm sure Sam might be able to help. If you wanted him to that is." He smiled "Nah I think I'm equipped to handle that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading   
> Kudos and comments always appreciated.  
> Stay safe and stay healthy


	38. First dates

Steve was relieved when Thor caught up to them. "I thought it would be nice to tag along and spend time with my sister. " Hela rolled her eyes. "Why not spend time with your Joten half breed sibling." Thor frowned "Loki and I live together at most times, you I do not see as often however I am reminded why."

"Well this is awkward. How about we go see Coney Island today? I know you haven't been yet Thor." They stopped their bickering. "An excellent idea Steven. Come sister you will enjoy this day." As they walked out to catch a can Hela noted the amount of children dressed in costumes. "What is this death celebration of yours on midgard?" Steve smiled "well the way we do it here is the way the Irish, my people did it. You dress up in a costume and in the evening You knock on someone's door. They open the door and you say trick or treat. They either give you a treat, usually candy or you play a trick on them. Nowadays kids mostly do it. It's fun and there's lots of treats involved."

Hela wrinkled her nose. "How quaint and what does this have to do with the dead?" Steve hailed a cab and gestured for them to get inside. "Coney Island please." He looked back to Hela "well the holiday itself celebrates those who have died. We dress up to fool the spirits that come back to the land of the living. Over the years it has changed a little with the times but at its core it's still the same." She slid over to him. "Well I don't see you in a costume. So what happens if you can't fool the spirits?" She was practically in his lap at this point. 

"Well um…nothing really happens. They used to think if the spirits found out you were a living person they could possess your soul." She ran a hand down his face and cupped his cheek. "Wouldn't that be such a shame..a body like yours ravaged by a being of death." Thor had his face buried in his hands. "Helaaaaa" he groaned "let the Captain alone." After a car ride that could only be equated to a poorly written porno the cab finally dropped them at Coney Island. Steve practically flew out of the car. 

Bucky and Loki carefully decorated the sugar cookies as Bea placed them on trays. Loki was having much more success making neat designs with the frosting. "James what on earth is that?" He sat the piping bag down. "Its frankenstein." Loki and Bea had their heads turned Examining the cookie. Bucky quickly snatched the cookie and shoved the whole thing in his mouth. "Now isnuffin." Bea rolled her eyes "don't talk with your mouth full." Bucky smirked "need to teach Loki that."

Just as he had said it Wanda walked into the room, turned, and walked out. "It appears you have offended Wanda." Bucky laughed "she's a hard one to figure. Although she does appear to be going through that teen young adult phase where she thinks the old people, that means us by the way, should not be having any kind of sex. Thought to be fair, kid had to get the birds and the bees talk from some poor hydra agent and then just to be safe from Clint and his wife." 

Loki shook their head. "Midgard is such an odd place when it comes to sex and nudity. I saw my parents naked plenty of times before." Bucky cringed "I only saw my siblings naked when they were babies. Now I was there when Becca was born….Steve's mom insisted. Could have lived my life not seeing that. She also gave us the talk in excruciatingly medically accurate detail. The Rogers household had no shame when it came to sex and the human body." Bea shrugged "we didn't keep secrets from our kids. Questions were answered open and honestly. I remember when Sam was born and Gina was there for it all. I got finished and she said Nope never doing that ma." 

Loki chuckled "Smart woman. It is not to be taken lightly. My time as a midwife was rather enlightening."   
"You were a midwife?" Loki nodded "I could not learn magic without learning that according to my father. I believe his thought was to scare me straight. Instead I excelled although many on Asgard refused to let me help. I brought my skills to the undesireables of our realm." Bea placed another tray of cookies down on the rack. "Were there that many?" Loki frowned "Asgard had it's inner circles and once a family.was cast out their generations remained so. Many.lived outside the palace walls with no protection. They were always the first victims of invaders."

There was a small commotion as Peter and Morgan bolted out of the elevator followed by Pepper and Happy. Peter bolted over to the cookies and reached for one "Ah ah , Peter, ask first. You too Morgan." They turned to Bea. "Mrs. Beatrice may we please have just one?" She smiled "of course but just one." Pepper smiled "Homework needs to be done before Happy takes you to Queens for trick or treat."  
"Yes ma'am."

Bea set them up with a snack before they did their homework. She was quite aware that Peter needed to eat just as much as Steve. "Here honey." She placed a plate of sandwiches down. "I'm gonna miss having so many mouths to feed when I go back home." Bucky smiled and wrapped his arms around her "well as I said before maybe that just means you have to stay." She sighed as she leaned into him. "What if you came with me?" 

"What?" She turned to face him. "What if you came to live with me?" He had never considered that a possibility. "I um…. That would be…. Would Gina be ok with that?"   
"Who cares, it's my house." He sat down in the chair. "Wow….I never considered moving out. Can I think about it?" She smiled "of course take all the time you need and if you decide it's not best you are still welcome to visit at any time." Buck pulled her into his lap and gave her a kiss. "What would I do without ya mama bear?" At that moment his stomach growled "apparently you would starve"

Before they concluded their day at Coney Island Steve took Thor and Hela to get the best hotdogs in town. He came back to their table and handed them each a plate. Thor took his and began to eat it no questions asked. Hela stared at it as though it would bite her. "What is this made of." Steve smirked "The first rule of enjoying a hotdog, don't ask how it's made. Trust me it's good. Have I steered you wrong at all today?" She grumbled under her breath but took a careful bite of the hotdog. She then began to eat it in the most obscene way possible. Steve buried his face behind his hands. "Are you sure no one bet you money to mess with me?"

Hela wiped her mouth and looked at him. "How else am I going to get your attention. I have offered myself to you and yet you act as though I am nothing." He let out a frustrated sigh. "Didn't you parents teach you how to woo someone? I mean Thor and Loki seem to know." She frowned. "Women like me do not woo nor do suitors woo us we must take what we want for we will otherwise not get it." He shook his head "what do you mean women like you?"

"Strong, fierce, self reliant women. My purpose is not to serve a man. I only serve myself." Steve perked up a bit at this. "You are convinced that strong independent women are not able to find honest love?" She nodded her head. "Hela….that's actually sad. No one's ever tried to win your heart?" She shook her head. "I am not a fair maiden. I am a warrior." 

"Tell ya what. Rather than take me by force or by gross inuendo how about I take you on a date? Nice dinner, dancing, the works. Would you like that?" Thor was silent as he watched them. Hela seemed to be carefully considering his offer. "You would try to win my affections by honest means?" He smiled "of course. You can be my date for the party tonight. We will see where it goes. Now this works both ways, I have the right to stop things just as much as you do. We both have the right to say no." She quietly nodded "ok Captain. We will try it your way." Thor couldn't help but smile. Perhaps some good would come from this. 

Happy took Peter and Morgan to trick or treat while Pepper Bruce Loki and Bucky decorated for the party. Bea was cooking more food while Tony was setting up lights and a fog machine on the balcony. Natasha arrived with more decorations in hand and looked around. "Good thing it's a friday night. I'd hate to have to tear the kids away from this." Thor came in with Hela but Steve was nowhere to be seen. 

"Natasha! Perfect. If you are not busy might I request your assistance?" She smiled "of course Thor. This must be your sister Hela. Loki has told me much about you."  
"All horrible I'm sure." Natasha didn't flinch "no, not all of it. What can I help with?"

Thor patted Hela's back. "My sister needs some assistance looking more presentable for her date tonight with Steven." Bucky and Loki both dropped what they were holding. "He agreed to a date with her?" Thor was beaming "agree, It was his suggestion. He offered my dear sister a chance to win his affection properly, that said we require some assistance as Hela's appearance leaves much to be desired." 

Natasha grinned and turned to Pepper. "I think we can handle this. Right Pepper?" She walked over "of course. Steve will barely recognize you when we are through." They left with Hela as Loki and Bucky continued to gawk. "Keep your mouth open any longer a fly is liable to go in there." Thor laughed. "Do not be so surprised. The Captain is enough of a gentleman to give Hela a fair chance. Once he realized she had never been properly wooed he offered her a proper date." Bucky raked his hand through his hair. "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph he always was a sucker for dames like that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading kudos and comments appreciated


	39. Ulterior motives

Steve showed up a while later and was immediately rushed by Bucky Loki and Tony. “Are you out of your mind even entertaining the idea of a date with her?” He took a step back from them. “It seemed kind of rude to not give her a fair chance. I mean no one has. It’s not a huge deal. I am being nice.” Tony rolled his eyes “Yes your wholesome apple pie personality strikes again. Did you actively forget the part where she led to the destruction of Asgard and is the goddess of DEATH?” 

He moved over to the couch and took a seat “Look, If I listened to everyone's impression of everyone else I wouldn’t be in this room right now. Hell I might not even be alive. I know what its like to have people ignore you and not give you the time of day. It hurts and you can get pretty jaded by it. I think that's what happened to her. I’m not trying to fix her, I'm just trying to show her the world isn’t all bad.” Tony crossed his arms. “Well if half of what Bruce and Loki have told me is true I just think you need to be careful.” He raised an eyebrow at them “I can handle her.” Loki gave up “It’s his funeral literally.We will not mourn you should you succumb to your stupidity.” 

Happy had returned with Peter and Morgan but there was still no sign of Pepper, Natasha and Hela. Morgan dove onto the couch on Steve’s lap. “We got so much candy Uncle Steve!” She poured the bag's contents out on his lap. “That's only one bag. We each filled two pilow cases. It was awesome.” Buck walked over and inspected their haul. “Morgan if you are smart you won’t let Steve near your candy especially if you like chocolate.” Peter smiled “We promised Steve half since he lent me the shield.” Morgan grinned “Happy said you like Hershey bars and Kit kats.” It was then that Steve noticed the collection in his lap was all hershey bars and kit kats. “He is absolutely right. Thank you.” They scooped the candy back into the pillow case. ‘Makin’ a couple a kids get candy for you? That's pretty low Rogers.” 

“Hey fair is fair. Pete wanted to borrow the shield and I wanted candy. All in all I think it’s a fair trade.” Tony plucked Morgan up “Dad would have had a heart attack if He knew you had done that.”   
“Good thing Howards not here then isn’t it?” Bucky grinned “I can’t imagine how he would have felt that time you dropped it into the potomac, or when Thanos actually broke it and tried to chop you in half with it or when you left it behind that one time.”  
“He used it as a snow coaster on a job” 

They all turned to see Natasha saunter into the room. “Steve I believe you have someone waiting for you in the hallway.” He got up and found Hela standing with Pepper. She was now wearing blue jeans and a black sweater. Her hair was pulled into a braid and her face actually had some color to it. “Well you clean up nice don’t you?” She nervously grabbed at her arm “I feel ridiculous.” Steve took her hand “Well I think you look nice. Come on we were gonna eat dinner.” Bucky looked up when they walked in and whistled “Damn she cleans up nice.” Loki had to do a double take not believing it was Hela walking in on Steve’s arm. 

“Who’s the pretty lady with uncle Steve?” Thor was ecstatic “That is my older sister Hela. She has come to visit for Halloween.” Morgan walked over to her “You’re really pretty.” Hela smiled down at her “Thank you. Such a bright child. Who does she belong to?” Pepper picked her up “She is mine and Tony’s. Morgan this is Hela.” Bucky was still staring when Bea came over to him “Kinda makes ya think you had it wrong huh?” He blinked back at her. “He always seems to bring out the best in people.” She pulled him close “So do you.”

Once Morgan was in bed they settled into watching a few spooky movies before calling it a night. Bucky had been closely watching Steve with Hela. He was being careful and gentle with her. Things that Bucky was certain no one had ever shown her. She had been raised to be a cold hard warrior, a weapon. He now began to see what Steve was seeing. Loki laid their head on his shoulder and whispered in his ear “I sense a lot of thinking going on when you could be snuggling between two amazing people on the couch while we sit through this ghastly picture.”

“I may have written your sister off too quickly.” Loki sighed “Do not feel badly. She brings it upon herself.”   
“How many people have said the same about me?” he murmured “ Loki shifted a little “Ah, you sense a kindred spirit.” He shrugged “Yea, I guess so. I mean sure she comes on a bit strong but she doesn’t know any other way. She was taught to be a weapon not a person.” Loki was now playing with his hair. “I never saw it that way. My time with Hela has been brief as she does not particularly like me. She still holds prejudice against Jotens.”  
“Maybe you can teach her that she was taught wrong. I mean you have done a good job proving yourself to us.” 

They were drawn towards a shriek from across the room followed by Steve laughing. Hela was sitting on the arm of the sofa next to him, her arms crossed looking rather miffed. “I couldn’t resist, you were so caught up in the movie I just had to.”   
“I Wasn’t scared, you just took me by surprise. I am a goddess of death. I have no fear.” Steve wiped the tears from his eyes “Ok fine,fine you weren’t scared just surprised.” Thor now had the biggest dumbest grin on his face. “I believe I will call it a night my friends. Good night, Captain, Hela, good night.”

Bea shook her head “He took her from death goddess to kitten faster than I thought possible. Perhaps we should excuse ourselves as well?” She got up from her seat. “Time for this old lady to hit the sack. Good night happy halloween.” Bucky and Loki followed after her a few minutes later leaving Steve, Hela, Bruce, Tony and Pepper. Once the movie was over Bruce stood up and excused himself “Goodnight everyone.” Tony leaned on Pepper’s chest nodding off “Ok Tony, I think it’s bedtime.”  
“Aw we didn’t even get to watch Bride of Frankenstein.” She patted him “maybe tomorrow ok sweetie?” he nodded sleepily as they got up and headed towards the penthouse.

Steve and Hela sat silently for a while. “Thank you, for showing me kindness I am far from deserving.” he looked over at her “Everyone deserves kindness. It’s just up to you how you respond to it.” She moved a bit closer. “I suppose it is a lot nicer to woo someone.”  
“In my experience yes.” She looked over “Do you have much experience with that sort of thing?” He blushed a bit. “No not really. I mean there was a girl once but that was a long time ago. Things just never seemed right after that.” She placed a hand on his thigh “Someone like you? People must be falling over themselves for you.”

He chuckled “Not exactly. Some people are down right intimidated by me and those that get to know me well… they would rather have Captain America not Steve Rogers.” She tilted her head “There’s a difference?” He couldn’t help laughing “Yes there’s a difference. Captain America is the propaganda hero they read about in history books and movies and comics. Steve Rogers is by comparison….boring.”   
“Well who took us to the Island today?” He smiled “you ma’am have been in the company of Steve Rogers.” She inched a little closer to him. “Well I find that there’s nothing wrong with Steve Rogers. I would love to show you my thanks” she purred at him. 

“Um.. I um...I’m not sure I….” Before he could finish she had pulled him into a kiss. “Wow...you sure know how to say thanks.” She threw her head back and cackled “I’ve been holding that in for a few thousand years.” She was now on top of Steve when the lights came on and Morgan wandered into the room. Steve jumped up and went over to her tossing Hela to the floor. “Morgan honey what’s got you up?” She looked at him with sleepy eyes. “I had a bad dream and I was looking for you.” He picked her up and headed to the couch. “Why me?” Hela was now eagerly listening to Morgan. “I had a dream that something bad happened to you. You got sick and didn’t wake up.” He hugged her close. “Aw sweetheart everything’s ok. I don’t get sick very often and even if I did it would take quite a lot to hurt me. Your dad would be able to get me help before something bad happened.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tight. “Mr. Strange said to take dreams seriously. He said it’s how we get messages sometimes.”

He sat back a bit so she was comfortable “Maybe he can. He’s magic but unless there's something I don’t know, you are a regular little girl. You don’t have to worry yourself about me getting hurt or sick.” Morgan seemed satisfied by the answer for the most part. She gave him one last hug and looked him dead in the eyes. “I will never let anything happen to you.” The look gave him chills he remembered ultron. He remembered the look in Tony’s eyes when he insisted he needed to protect them, to protect everyone. Morgan climbed off his lap and left for her room. 

Hela knew there was truth to the child's dreams. She could smell death lingering around him. It sat and it waited. She had hoped she could lay claim to him first. She knows that is what drew Loki to come. They knew the signs just as well any serid user was capable of it. She was running out of time. If she did not lay claim before the dawn she might lose the chance. She knew this man was dear to her siblings. If she only did one thing right in her wretched existence it may as well be this. “Would you excuse me Steven.” She got up but he grabbed her hand. “Are you running out on me?” Her expression softened “No it’s just..my time in this realm grows short. I cannot walk between worlds as Loki or Thor do. I can only do so once a year and with dawns only a few hours away I am running out of time.” 

He smiled sheepishly. “Are you pulling the shipping out routine on me?” She stared at him, baffled a moment. “It’s a thing guys used to do in my day, tell a gal they were kinda sweet on that they were shipping out and if they died they would never have had sex. Is that what you are doing to me?” She smirked “What if I was? Would that make you want me anymore?” She had now resumed her place perched on top of Steve. He began to blush but she could tell she was getting somewhere. “I don’t kiss and tell Captain. Who knows you could die tomorrow and never know what it would have been like.” She playfully batted her eyelashes at him. “Ok you win.” 

Loki was pacing the room when Bucky found them. He wrapped his arms around their waist. “What’s got you wearing a hole in my floor doll?” Loki sighed “I haven’t been truthful about my visit. I have the feeling something is going to happen to Captain Rogers. I can feel it in the air, I can smell the lingering stench of death hanging over him. I don't know what fate would befall him that could take him out but it is coming and I fear not even I can stop it. I feel that is why Hela was here. She probably senses it too. It would explain her infatuation with the Captain.” Bucky had gone silent. “What do you mean like you think he’s gonna….gonna die?” Loki nodded “That is a distinct possibility and I cannot warn him as it is one of the highest rules not to intervene when death is coming. We can only act when death has arrived and even then it is out of my power." 

Bucky raked his hands through his hair. "Please tell me we can do something. I'll…….I'll do-" Loki threw a hand over his mouth. "DO NOT finish that sentence" they hissed. "Death cares not the source of its pound of flesh just that it gets what is promised." Bucky was now shaking as he desperately gripped Loki's shirt. " I can't lose him. I can't not now, not yet. I've lost so much time with him I can't lose this time." Loki held him close and sat down on the couch. "Hopefully whatever my sister has in mind will be in his best interest." Bucky pressed tightly against them "I hope you're right doll."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading   
> Kudos and comments greatly appreciated


	40. not a cat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this one took a while. after this things are gonna get cute. not sure how much longer I'm gonna keep this one running for though but I will try and bring it to a satisfying end. if theres something you want to see drop a comment :)  
> all that out of the way Enjoy

When Steve woke up Hela was gone. He sat up and could still feel the results of his night with her. When he walked into the bathroom he saw the mark on his neck where she had been kissing him but bit down in the heat of the moment. He shook his head making a mental note to be careful with any other Asgardian women should the chance arise again. 

He showered and made his way down to breakfast. When he came in the room Bucky was pacing by the window. "Hey, what's got you all keyed up?" Bucky responded by throwing his arms around him and hugging him bone crushingly close. "Did you have a nightmare or something?"

Bucky let go of him "yea i guess you could say that. I was worried something had happened to you." He let go and took a step back. "Weird. Morgan came looking for me around 2 in the morning saying she was worried I was gonna go to sleep and never wake up." Loki was looking over at them.

"Really? Well you clearly woke up this morning. I trust Hela got to have her way with you since I could hear her shrieking across the hall." Steve blushed and took a seat at the table. "I….yea...I caved to the shipping out routine." Bucky choked out a laugh "I remember pulling that on you twice." Bea turned from her spot on the stove. "You mean the first time you didn't kill him?"

Bucky chuckled "Nope but the second time he almost killed me, at least that's what it felt like once I came back to earth." Steve while blushing even more was laughing. "You let out a moan that nearly woke the whole camp. I remember Peg bustin in to give me a piece of her mind thinking I had Arlene in there." Bucky was howling with laughter. "Even she wasn't prepared to find you balls deep in a guy let alone your sergeant."Bea was shaking her head as she placed breakfast down. "I guess even when a war’s on any which way ya can is better than nothing."

Morgan came bounding into the room and clamored into the chair with Steve. "Uncle Steve you're ok!" He hugged her and gave her a kiss on her head "Of course I am. I told you that you didn't need to worry about me." Tony walked in and grabbed a cup of coffee and looked up at Steve. "What's all this now? Morgan's been asking Friday if you were available since 6 this morning." Steve rolled his eyes.

"She had a bad dream that I died and took it seriously because Strange told her dreams were messages." Tony looked into his coffee cup. "Wow…..that's …..huh."  
"I know I told her that only applies to him because he can use magic and that she doesn't need to worry about me." Tony frowned briefly. "Hey sweetie why don't you go tell mommy breakfast is ready." Morgan hopped off his lap and headed upstairs. Once she was gone he sighed "normally Rogers I'd agree with ya but I've had some pretty you specific nightmares for a few weeks since the whole accident thing. I don't know maybe it's nerves but maybe there's some truth to it." Bucky didn't want to hear this. "Seems like everyone was some kinda worried about him last night but hey here he is alive and breathing. Ready for duty."

The door opened and Bruce stepped in. “He isn't ready for duty just yet. He's got one more week before I even Think of clearing him for missions and even then I'm considering light duty." Loki smirked "last night was a good indication the Captain is more than recovered enough for duty." Tony's head whipped around faster than light. "Did you seriously do the horizontal tango with Thor's sister?" Steve said nothing choosing to become very invested in his coffee.

"That is Steve's tell that he did in fact knock bodies with someone." He turned his head and shot Bucky a betrayed look. It was then that Bruce spotted the bite mark. "What's that?" He asked almost innocently. Tony reached over and pulled Steve's shirt to reveal the gnarly bite. "Jesus christ Steve, someone took a bite outta you. Tony, give me the first aid kit, this thing needs stitches." Loki moved over to inspect the bite. Bucky saw the frown flicker across their face.

He nodded to the stairwell and left Bruce and Tony to fuss over Steve. Loki followed a moment later. "Something wrong James?" He crossed his arms "I saw that look what's up?" Loki tried to downplay it but it was no use. "I believe Hela made her claim but someone has tried to contest it. Death comes in many forms and they all like their job and do not approve of medlers."   
"What do we do?"   
"There is nothing we can do. This is beyond our powers now. All we can do is keep an eye on him. Hopefully Hela can keep him from harm for now."

They came back in the room to see Wanda doing her best to hold Steve still while Bruce stitched him up. She gave Bucky an exasperated look as he walked over. "Stevie, ya gotta let Banner do his job. Pretty sure love bites from a death goddess are not covered by the serum." He relaxed a bit but still looked agitated. Once they were finished Bea placed another plate of pancakes in front of him. "It's gonna feel pretty boring going back with sammy next week. You all need to come and visit once Gina and I are settled."

Bruce smiled "It will certainly feel empty without you here Beatrice." She pinched his cheek as she handed him a plate. "Such wonderful manners. Your mama's all raised you so well." 

The rest of the week went without incident. For all accounts everything seemed like they were certainly ok. Steve and Bucky helped pack up Bea's things and take her to the airport. Bucky pulled her into a kiss and held her tight. Loki had already returned home the day before. "Gonna miss you mama bear. See you in a few weeks." She moved over to Steve and hugged him tight "you take care of yourself. I don't want to see you in pieces on Thanksgiving." He nodded "I can't make any promises ma'am." She gave one last hug to them and boarded the plane. "I hate to see her go but damn do I love to watch her leave." Steve playfully punched his arm. "Come on jerk it's movie night and Clint's in town for a visit."

Movie night was still as much of a tradition as possible. While Tony was with his family for the weekend and wouldn't be there it was still a good time. Clint had ordered Pizza from his favorite place and it was Steve's turn to pick a movie. He had chosen Roger Rabbit after Peter had said he had never seen it. 

Clint passed everyone their box of pizza. "One meat lover's with extra mushrooms as requested." He handed Steve the box and Bucky wrinkled his nose. "You ruined a perfectly good pizza with fungus pal." Steve smirked "well I would have had Hawaiian but this place refuses to make that one." Bucky nudged his shoulder "what kinda punk puts pineapple on a pizza huh?" 

They were nearly done with the movie when Steve shifted in his seat and then excused himself to the mens room. As he left Clint's face scrunched up. "What the hell. It smells like something crawled up Steve's ass and died." Friday cut the movie off and interrupted "Steve is back in his room he said he doesn't feel well." Bucky got up along with Bruce. "That's not normal. Tell him we are heading up Fri. You guys can finish the movie without us." Bruce grabbed the first aid kit and they headed to Steve's room.

They found him on the couch with a bottle of ginger ale. "Steve? Ya good?" He nodded but didn't say anything else. Bucky could see sweat beading on his brow. "You don't look ok pal. Come on talk to me." He opened his mouth to protest but instead began the gag and wretch into the wastebasket. When he finally stopped he wiped the back of his hand across his mouth "Guess I should have paced myself on the pizza." Bucky frowned "maybe ya shouldn't be eating a pizza covered in extra fungus." He patted him lightly. “Call me if you need anything punk I’m right across the hall.” He smiled “I should be ok. I’m gonna try and get into my bed. Night buck, Bruce.”

The next morning Bucky woke to an alert from Friday suggesting a welfare check on Steve. “Ok Fri. I’m going, hold your horses. Why can’t you check?”  
“Steve entered the bathroom and has not come out, it has been a few hours. I have attempted to call but he has yet to respond.” Bucky nodded “Ok. lemme get some pants and I’ll be over in a sec.” 

He went across the hall and entered Steve’s apartment. He could hear him throwing up in the bathroom. He knocked and stepped inside to see Steve leaning against the bowl. “You need some help? Friday said you have been in here a while.” Steve looked up at him. His skin was pale and clammy and he looked confused. “Steve?” He didn’t respond except for blinking a few times at him. “Ok I’m calling Banner.” He was up in a few minutes while Bucky did his best to get Steve cleaned up. 

“He looks awful jeez.” Bucky nodded “Yea. He’s not responding much but he’s been whimpering when I touch his stomach. I tried to put him in the bath to clean him up cuz he kinda had an accident and he flipped. I don’t know what’s going on.” Bruce was checking his eyes and heart rate. “We gotta take him in. I can’t for the life of me figure out what this is and I’m certain it’s not food poisoning.” 

Bruce ran tests and came back to Bucky. “I can;t explain it. His liver enzymes are all messed up, we are seeing breakdown in cells but the serum is fixing it slowly. He’s having abdominal pain but his brain function isn’t allowing him to communicate that.” I just don’t understand how someone can be completely healthy one day and then this critical less than 24 hrs later with no real reason.”

Over the next few days things didn’t seem any better. If Steve was awake he was either delirious or he was in so much pain he couldn’t really talk to them. Bruce had him hooked to so many things and nothing seemed to help only prolong it. When he came back with Helen and a pained look on his face Bucky was certain he wasn’t gonna like the conversation. He had seen that face before. 

“No.” Bruce stopped and looked at him. “What?” He shook his head and straightened up. “I know that look. You are about to tell me that the best thing is to stop trying and let Steve go. I say no. I owe him every chance to survive no matter what.” Helen frowned. “James, his body is failing. His serum only seems to be prolonging the inevitable. This is no quality of life for anyone. It has been a week with no improvement and-”  
“AND I SAID NO!” She took a step back but didn’t falter. “James, I know this is hard to even think about but seriously.” He couldn’t hold back the tears anymore.

“No. I can't, I can’t lose him again. Not yet. It’s not fair. He was fine. Hela was supposed to keep him safe. Loki promised she would keep him safe.” Bruce looked at him confused. “Is there something we should know?” Bucky only responded by getting up. “I gotta take a walk. Don;t leave him alone Bruce please. He can’t be left alone.”

He ended up on the balcony knees drawn and arms wrapped around himself. He heard the door open and someone stepped out. Morgan sat next to him and laid her head down against him. “Uncle Steve is really sick isn’t he?” He looked over at her, his eyes still wet with tears. “Yeah kiddo he is. They are doing everything they can.” She nestled closer. “I tried to tell him. I had a dream he went to sleep and didn;t wake up. I tried to tell him and he told me not to listen.” Bucky could only pull her closer as a sob escaped him. He held her close as she wrapped her arms around him. “I want to see him. I want to give him something.” He wiped his eyes and loosened his grip. 

“It’s really scary in there right now and he might not know you are there. Are you sure you want to.” She nodded, her resolve stronger than ever. “I know. I remember when daddy was in the hospital to get his arm fixed. I’ll be right back, just wait.” He moved inside to the couch trying to compose himself. Morgan returned with a small box. “Ok lets go.” 

When they returned to Steve’s room Bruce Loki and Strange were all arguing with each other about treatments or solutions or something. They all stopped when they saw Bucky walking Morgan in. “She really shouldn’t be here.” Bucky only glared at Strange in response. He carefully guided Morgan into the room. Steve looked horrible. His eyes sunken in his skin was a sickly grey. He was for now asleep or what Bucky could equate to asleep. Morgan walked over and took his hand. “I tried to tell you Uncle Steve. Why didn’t you just listen to me?” Bucky’s heart was shattering as he watched Morgan. 

After a few minutes she carefully opened the box she held and pulled out a necklace. “My friend said this would help you. I don’t know her name but she said I would know when to give it to you.” Bucky observed the small pendant. It had a faint blue glow to it and hung from a black leather thread. “Here let me help with that kiddo.” He took it and gently placed the necklace around Steve’s neck careful of the tubes trying to feed him and help him breath. Loki and Bruce had come back in the room just as he placed the necklace on him.

“Where did you get that?” Loki was storming over to him. “Morgan gave it to him. She said her friend gave it to her.” Loki turned to Morgan. “Who gave this to you?” She shrugged “She never told me her name. She just said to keep it and I would know when to give it to Uncle Steve. Did I do something bad?” Loki shook their head. “No. How long have you had this?” She was quiet as she thought carefully. “She gave it to me when we went to the museum.” 

“That was months ago. Is she a classmate?” Morgan shook her head looking over at Bruce. “No I think she worked there. She said she wanted to show me something and she gave me that and said to keep it a secret and I know mommy and daddy said to never trust an adult who tells you to keep things from them but she was different.” Bucky was now reaching to take the necklace off Steve but Loki stopped him. “Don’t touch it. Morgan can you tell me more about your friend? What did she look like?” Loki scooped her up and sat in the chair with her. “She was tall like mommy but she had hair like mine. Her eyes were green like mine too. She was really pretty.” Bruce was now looking at Loki. Friday was compiling an image of the woman as Morgan told them about her. What they saw was a woman who was the spitting image of Morgan if she were about 15 years older. 

Bucky stared wide eyed at the screen. “Did your friend tell you anything when she gave you the necklace?” She nodded “She said someone needed to keep that punk around and he was needed.” Loki smiled and patted her head. “We need to do some tests with Steve. You give him a kiss and go back upstairs ok?” She hopped from Loki’s lap and went to Steve. She kissed his cheek “I hope you are better soon Uncle Steve. You promised you would be ok.” She left the room as Bruce and Loki stared at the image Friday produced.

“Well, Morgan in some reality seems to have become an apprentice to Strange. I cannot explain any other way she would have known about the hero’s stone. One falls to midgard once every few hundred years but we were at least 15 or so years away from its next predicted arrival. That stone is the interference I said I felt with Hela’s claim. Morgan claimed him first and a claim formed by a deep love is much better than one for power or sheer want.” Bucky ran his thumb over Steve’s cheek. “Is he gonna get better?” Loki looked apologetically. “The claim only means someone has need of him more than death. He could be in this suspended state until what ever happens that they need him for occurs.”

Tony came bursting into the room. Bucky assumed it was to yell at him for allowing Morgan here. “MUSHROOMS!” they all looked at him. “These, the nasty little fungus Steve loves to drown his pizza in. Normally safe BUT when someone monitors the towers comings and goings and routine and wants to take out our dear Captain they can substitute his normal safe mushrooms for ones that are not so safe. It’s treatable but it’s gonna take time. If he were anyone else he would have been long gone. How Brucie bear did you miss that?” 

“I um..well no one really thought it was the food and it’s not like we had a way of checking. The evidence was literally down the toilet. Oh god. We have to get started right away.” Bruce began to rush around and change iv’s and update meds. Tony looked at the necklace “This something of yours reindeer games?” Loki shook their head. “No, that is Morgans. She gave it to Steve.” He nodded as he inspected it. “Huh. Wonder where it came from. Looks neat.” Bucky opened his mouth to explain but Bruce shot him a look. 

Over the next day or so Steve improved. He still couldn't eat much but he was awake and alert. He fiddled with the necklace as Loki explained to him what had happened. “So wait. You are telling me that Morgan, adult Morgan, in some reality is a sorcerer like Strange and she went back in time to give herself this...hero stone… to give to me so that I wouldn’t die.” Loki nodded. “Yes and you should feel honored. That stone is as precious as an infinity stone but is only powerful when gifted to a true hero.” He blushed a bit. “I don’t know if I would call myself a true hero but I hope I can be worth her trouble. Why didn't she just tell us something was going to happen to me. Why use the stone?” 

“There were two parts to that. The first being that if she was traveling time she could not just tell you what would happen. Some events need to happen in order to keep things in balance. The second being that when death puts a call out on someone it is very dangerous to try and stop it all together. In many cases the price is deep. One way or another death will have its pound of flesh. She knew she could only trust herself with this job.” Bucky nodded along as if this was a completely normal occurrence. “Wait if this is a claim that deals with death how was Morgan even able to make a claim?” Loki pondered a moment. “She may have discovered a loophole in the definition of a death god or goddess. Her father while he has changed is still known to many as the merchant of death. She is his flesh and blood so that would make her a merchant of death as well.” Steve could see the connection “I guess I will have to thank Morgan.” Bucky nodded “Too bad you won’t be able to actually eat much of Thanksgiving dinner next week.” 

He winced “Please don’t talk about food. It hurts too much to think about it.” Bucky patted his shoulder “I’m sure when you are back to handling heavy foods we can have a redo. Till then Bruce has told Bea what you can eat and she will be sure to make sure you have that.” He smiled “Thanks Buck.” Morgan came rushing into the room. “Uncle Steve! Daddy said you were gonna be ok. My friend was right, the necklace did help you.” He smiled as Bucky placed her in the bed with him. “Yes it did. Thank you so much for helping me feel better.” She nestled closer to him. “I still need you.” He smiled at Bucky as he adjusted to keep Morgan comfortable. “Seems like there’s a lot of that going around. Maybe when I’m better we can go see Santa. He’s gonna be at the store soon.” 

Bucky grinned as he wiped a few tears from his eye. “You’re over a hundred and you still love to go see Santa Claus at Macy's huh?” Morgan's eyes went wide. “Santa is really old isn’t he?” Steve smiled “Yes Santa is very old and very real.” Morgan nodded “I know he’s real. Rita says he’s made up but I know he’s real.” Bucky could see a light in Steve’s eye. Steve held onto Santa Claus even when they were in the Army. 

“No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.” Morgan looked at him a little confused “It’s from a letter a little girl wrote to the paper a long time ago. She asked the editor of the paper if Santa was real because her father said if she saw it in the paper it must be so. The editor responded with a resounding yes. I will read you the rest of it when I'm a little better but that is the part I remember best. It’s my favorite part too.” Bruce smiled “Come on Morgan let’s let Steve rest. He’s gonna be sent back to his apartment tomorrow you can visit him there.” 

Once they were alone Bucky pulled him into a hug. “You scared me ya stupid punk. You aren’t allowed to get mushrooms on a pizza ever again as long as I live.” He wasn't even hiding the fact that he was crying. “Aw Buck. It’s ok. It takes a little more than some mushrooms to take me out.” Bucky playfully punched his arm. “You big palooka. You can;t keep cheating death like this. Even cat’s only have nine lives and by my count you are well past nine.” Steve smiled “Then I guess I’m not a cat.”   
“Punk”  
“Jerk”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for readying stay safe stay healthy and love each other <3


	41. ain't misbehavin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> small interaction with Bucky and M.J.

Bucky had just settled in to fix himself a snack. The common room was nice and quiet. Just as he was settled he heard a voice behind him. “Hi Mr. Barnes!” He jumped “Jeez kid. Call me Bucky and don’t sneak up on me like that.”  
“Oh sorry Mr Bar- I mean Bucky. Look I um...I need some help.” He looked around the room and then back at Peter. “Um….what kinda help? We talking hide a body type help or….”

“NO, no, um its just…. There's a dance at school in a few weeks and there's a dance competition and I wanna take M.J. but she’s suuuuuper competitive and amazing and I can’t really yea know...dance. So I was kinda hoping and Bruce kinda suggested it, if its not any trouble that maybe you could help us maybe learn to dance...together?” He blinked for a few minutes unsure of what to say. “Kid...the dance moves I know are almost a hundred years old. You sure you don’t wanna talk to someone a bit more...hep to today's steps?” Peter snorted “No. I um… I feel awkward trying to dance like that. Also...you sounded like a total old person there.” He crossed his arms “You want help or not?” He quickly stifled his laughter. “Yes please. I can bring M.J. by later. Thanks Bucky!”

A few hours later Bucky was getting the stare down from a rather intimidating 17 year old woman. “Hi, you must be M.J.” She nodded and held out her hand. “Sergeant Barnes, pleasure to meet you.” He and Peter had moved all the furniture in his suite to give them room. “So do you have any experience dancing?” She looked over at him “Not really. I mean I dance but ya know fun casual nothing...structured.” He nodded “Ok well um...I’m not sure how well my kinda dancing will go with today's music but we are gonna start learning with what I know. I’m sure you can figure it out once I show you. You both are smart kids.”

“We aren’t kids, we are young adults.” He put up his hands “Ok, fine you are both smart young adults. Now who's gonna lead and who's gonna follow?” Peter looked at him “Doesn’t the man normally lead?” Bucky laughed “Traditionally yes BUT, this is the 21st century and women are capable leaders in many cases more so than us guys. Also not every guy is the right size to lead his gal or confident enough. Just ask Steve. Even when he dances with Natasha he lets the lady take the lead. So since you two are fairly matched in size who’s gonna lead?” M.j. shrugged “You lead Parker. One less thing for flash to bug you about.” 

“Wait he’s getting picked on?” Peter was trying to silence M.J. “Ummm yea since forever. How is this news?” He stared at Peter “Because this maroon took on me AND Steve in a fight and WE didn’t win.” M.J. was looking at him with an odd look on his face. It was a mix between shocked and outright offended. Had Peter not told her about Germany? Surly she knew he was spiderman. “Did he not tell you this?” She blinked and composed herself “Oh he told me but I didn’t expect to hear a racist term like that.” He looked at her confused “Ummm I don’t follow.” 

“Sorry to intrude however Miss Jones is correct. You have accidentally used a phrase rooted in early history as a derogatory term for former slaves.” He was shaking his head “Kid, oh my god. I didn’t even know. Do you know how common that word was when I was growin up? It wasn’t used for just black people it was a common insult. I would never use a slur on purpose you gotta believe me.” She eased up a little “Well now you know it has some rather unpleasant roots. So maybe don’t say it. Did they not do any sensitivity training with you?” He couldn’t hold back the laugh. “I spent over 70 years brainwashed and working for actual Nazi’s they didn't give fuckall about weather or not I used a slur or called a lady a broad. After that I spent three years on the run and another few years having my brain unscrambled.So no there wasn’t time for any sensitivity training. I think I have done pretty ok all things considered.” Her eyes narrowed “Remind me to sit you down and go through a crash course. Does Steve need one too?” 

“Umm no? I don’t think so.” She nodded “Ok good. Just you. Well let's get this show on the road while at least two of us are still young.” He nodded now a little nervous that anything he said would be scrutinized and held against him. “Right… um… I um..Friday? Is there someone I can steal for a dance partner? I am not comfortable placing hands on this young lady.” 

“Pepper is on her way to your suit James.” He nodded “Ok. I hope you don’t mind. Touching is still kinda hard for me and I don’t think you want this all over you” he said holding up his left hand. “Not at all sir whatever makes you comfortable.” Pepper stepped off the elevator a few moments later and smiled. “Hello Michelle, how are you? Friday said you needed me James.” He nodded “Yup. they want me to teach them to dance and I didn't feel comfortable placing my hands on M.J. soooo if you don’t mind.”  
“Not at all but only if I can pick the song.” He smiled “Of course you can. Either check the records or ask Friday.” 

“Friday, please play La vie en rose” Bucky smiled as he carefully placed his hands as Peter followed along. He honestly hadn't danced in quite a long time. It seemed like it was part of him that was gone. They carefully danced to the song and he found that he had gotten lost in the moment. A memory of a time long gone lingering as he remembered dancing with Becca for the first time in years. “James are you ok? You’re crying?” He stopped “Oh..um..I haven’t danced like than since…..1944. It just...I remembered some stuff. I’ll be ok. How about we kick it up a bit? Friday play Ain’t misbehavin please.” The tempo kicked up and Bucky proceeded to show Peter and M.J. a few other dances he knew. He was tossing Pepper around and she was quite trusting with every dip and twirl. “Ok now you are just showing off.” He stopped and looked over to see Steve in the doorway smiling. “I knew if you were over here blasting Benny Goodman you must be doing the Lindy.” Pepper took that moment to sit down on the chair. 

“Well Pete and his gal needed some dance lessons and apparently I was the go to guy and Pepper was more than happy to be my dance partner.” Steve smiled “It’s nice seeing you have fun.” He shook his head “Don’t you go getting sappy on me.” Peter and M.J. stood up. “Thanks for your help Sergeant Barnes and I will be back to give you a bit of a crash course in what’s not cool to say anymore.” Steve raised an eyebrow “Buck? Whadid ya do?” He shrugged a bit “I used a term that is apparently racist as Michelle and Friday were both quick to point out. I honestly never knew but now I do and it won’t happen again.” Steve laughed but Pepper shot him a look “You don’t get to laugh. I remember when you pulled out a pack of cigarettes right out on the balcony.”

They all stared at Steve. “Damn Stevie, even I knew smoking wasn’t ok anymore.” He shrugged “No one told me and if i'm not mistaken Hydra was more or less running S.H.I.E.L.D so of course they weren’t gonna tell me what was ok and not ok. It would be that much easier to make me look like an idiot and feel even more displaced.” M.J. nodded “He has a point. If they made S.H.I.E.L.D. seem like it was more comfortable he would accept it no questions asked.” Bucky grinned “yea till a tall dark and handsome Brunette sent his world crashing down around him.” He dramatically flopped onto the couch and Pepper giggled. “You are so silly.” He grinned “Isn’t that why you keep me around?” He leaned over and kissed his cheek. “Of course and because you don’t exactly have a place to live otherwise.”

He feigned offence at her comment. “I see, I’m just a charity project to make Stark industries look good.” M.J. was shaking her head. “I can see why Pete likes you. You’re the biggest dork I have ever met and that’s saying something because I know Peter AND Ned.” Bucky glared at M.J. “I’m not a dork. I am the Winter soldier fear by all seen by few-”  
“Constantly filching his best friends boxer shorts when he forgets to do his laundry.”  
“You are lucky you are still on the mend from the mushroom incident punk or I’d make you eat those words.” M.j. rolled her eyes. “Well there is too much dork and testosterone in this room for me now. Later old people good night Pepper.” She left and Bucky stared at Peter. “She just called us old people.”  
“Well..i mean..you kinda are.”   
“Oh I see how it is, learn all my award winning dance secrets and then call me old. See if I help you next time.” Steve smiled “Come on you old drama queen lets get some dinner.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is another for the power of bugs bunny. the phrase maroon started off as a term for slaves that left the plantation but was later used as another word for moron in bugs bunny cartoons. 
> 
> thanks for reading. stay safe and stay healthy <3


	42. That stupid thing Steve drinks

A week and a half of Steve’s mostly liquid diet had begun to make him sort of whiney. Bucky couldn’t blame him. He still felt rotten and he had to be getting tired of mostly soup with no spice and no salt. Bruce was taking every precaution despite the serum working things back in order. He had to do something for him. “Bruce is there some kind of treat we can get for Steve? He’s kinda miserable. Maybe a drink or something he likes?” Bruce paused his experiment and looked through his notes. “Well...we were thinking of moving to pureed food and letting him have sugar and dairy again so maybe something from the coffee place he likes?” Bucky nodded “Great..where is it?” Bruce shook his head “No clue he goes there with Wanda. It’s some hipster place. She can probably take you. She is learning to drive so maybe you can help her get drivetime in too. ” He left to find Wanda.

She was in the library putting back the books she borrowed before she headed home to Clint’s family who had more or less adopted her. “Hello James. How are you today?” He nodded nervously. “Great, great, I’m great. I um… wanted to get something for Steve, Bruce says he can have sugar and dairy again and I thought it might be nice to get him something but um the coffee place he likes, I have no idea where it is and since you need to do some driving practice I figured we could maybe drive there?” She paused. He and Wanda had never spent too much time together but he knew she and Steve were very close. “I can take you. So Steve can have Coffee as a treat” She said with a smile and then shook her head. “Sorry it's some meme thing Shurri and Peter sent me the other week. Let me put these back and grab my coat and purse and we can go.” 

They headed downstairs to the garage and he froze as Wanda hopped into one of Tony’s sports cars. “Um… what are you doing?” She looked at him like he was stupid “Driving practice remeber?” He looked around at the multitude of cars and then back at this one. “But this is one of Stark's fancy sports cars.” She nodded “He has been teaching me to drive in this one. Clint took the truck back home so this is the car I'm comfortable with.” He hesitantly climbed to the passenger's side. “Wanda, per protocol I am informing Boss that you are going out for driving practice with James. Do you have a destination in mind that i may inform him and a return time?” 

“Thanks Friday we are going to the coffee shop Steve likes in Greenwich Village. I’m not sure how soon we will be back but i will alert you as soon as we are returning.” Bucky groaned “We are going to Greenwich this time of day? Traffic is going to be a nightmare.” She giggled and rolled her eyes. “I wouldn’t be going if I didn’t think I could handle it. Remember Tony has been teaching me to drive.” He closed his eyes and took a breath “And that does not make me feel any better.” 

After an hour and a half in traffic Bucky was more than happy to scramble out of the car once it was parked. “Oh, come on James it was not that bad. You are being so dramatic.” He frowned “No it WAS that bad. I have been in plane crashes that were more peaceful.” She shrugged “If you are gonna drive in new york city you have to drive it like you stole it. Tony’s words not mine.” They stepped into a coffee shop whose general clientele made Bucky feel old by comparison. “Jeez this is the place Steve goes to?” 

“Yes, this is the place Steve goes to. You know he will sooner support a small family owned operation than a corporate chain. Do you want anything?” He shook his head. Whenever he and Peter went to Starbucks he always ordered for him. “I wouldn’t know what to get kid, Pete normally just surprises me with whatever he gets from Starbucks.” She nodded and looked over the menu for a moment. “I’m sure we can find you something. Steve always gets the caramel apple macchiato. How about just a white chocolate mocha? Short sweet and to the point.” He shrugged “Whatever.” She headed for the counter and he took a seat at one of the tables. She returned with two paper cups and one thermos that had Steve’s name on it. “I didn't see you bring that. She smiled "You can leave a cup or a thermos here and request your order be put in that. Steve always keeps two here in case he wants to take something for later." Bucky shook his head. He remembered the year Sarah scraped together enough money between herself and his parents to get Steve a thermos. 

He was pulled from his thoughts by Wanda tapping his arm. “Did you try it yet?” He looked down at the cup. “What did you get and why does it have sprinkles?” She smiled “It’s a birthday cake flavored latte. It’s SOOOOOOOOO good.” He looked back at his drink skeptically. “Uhuh.” He wasn't sure why he was so nervous. When he and Peter tried new things he always had no issue telling him if he didn;t care for it and normally Peter would just drink it himself. “What if I don’t like it.” He muttered quietly. Wanda’s expression softened. “It’s ok if you don’t like it James. We don't always like new things but it's still ok to try.” He nodded relaxing a bit at her encouragement. He took a sip and was surprised he actually liked it. “This is actually pretty good.” She smiled “You can thank Peter. I texted him to see what kind of things you like but I wanted to get you something different because I didn't want to infringe upon your starbucks time with him.” He smiled “It’s alright kid. I’m not that territorial.”

They finished up and she took him to a few of the shops. They found a few things to put away for Christmas and she bought a box of chocolates which they were sharing on the ride home. Wanda was telling him all about college and things going on with Clint and his family. She had spent the last year at the university in Wakanda at Shurri’s insistence, mostly so she could also study her powers, and then transferred here when it was clear she could use more guidance from Strange. He had avoided Wanda since day one. He had thought it was because Steve told him she could see his thoughts but now the reason was clear. He looked at her talking about life and school and even boys and he saw Becca. Despite his therapist’s insistence he pushed thoughts about his family especially Becca way down. He hated to think about them. About what they may have done and the life he missed out on with them. Steve took him last xmas to see their resting places and it hurt. It hurt more than anything he had ever been through. 

Wanda had stopped talking and looked over at him. “James you are crying. What's wrong?” He was trying to gather himself but it was no use. “You just… you are a lot like her… your smile the way you talk about everything. I just..I can’t. I’ve tried so hard to deal with it but losing them… A piece of me died and it can't heal. It won’t be ok.” She pulled the car over and reached for his hand but he flinched away. “Remembering was even worse than not remembering them at all. It seems cruel. Steve had no one and then he got his last someone back but me...I’ve lost so much. They all died never knowing. They went on with their lives thinking I was lost in a mound of snow in the swiss alps when I was practically under everyone’s noses being torn apart and put back together and molded into a horrific killing machine.” He tried to choke back the sobs but it was too late the dam had broken. He had been bottling this up for too long. 

He cried for a while trying to Get himself together but he was hysterical. Once he could finally force himself to speak he looked at Wanda "please….help me….make me forget them..I can't go on knowing them...remembering them." Wanda took his hands. "James, no. Don't say things like that. Don't ever say things like that. I know how hard it is to miss someone so much. I lost my brother shortly after we got free from Hydra. Tony….he reminds me of him so much. So much that it makes me angry. My family was killed when a Stark industries bomb was dropped on our house. I wanted for all the world to kill Stark. To hate him. Then we ended up fighting together and in that fight Pietro gave his life to protect Clint. A piece of my died that day just as it had when my parents were killed. I spent months wishing I had died with them. Steve began taking me to get coffee and telling me about his family, about you. He mentioned Becca a few times. I think for the same reason. It's ok to hurt but I'm sure there are some wonderful things to remember about them. Things worth holding onto." She squeezed his hand lightly and then pulled a handkerchief from her purse and handed it to him.

She carefully pulled out onto the road. They drove the rest of the way in silence. Once they pulled into the garage Bucky got out and pulled Wanda into a tight hug. "Thank you for listening and talking and thank you for not making me forget." She smiled and brushed the hair from his eyes. "I'm glad I could help. If you ever want help with some of the memories I can always go through them with you but I won't erase them. Hydra wanted me to hone that skill I think with you in mind. I never had the stomach for it. Not then not now." He nodded and let her go. "Thanks."

He got himself together and headed for Steve's floor. When he opened the door Steve was sitting at the table staring at his dinner as if it offended him. "Hey punk, Banner said we can try something new today." He put the thermos down on the table. "Here's that stupid thing you drink. O survived Wanda's driving to get it." Steve quickly popped the lid off and smiled as he took in the scent. "Buck you are a lifesaver. Remind me to thank Wanda." He took a sip of the drink and relaxed into the chair. "Thank god I can have some more flavor. This is amazing. You wanna try some Buck?" He shook his head. "Nah punk you are enjoying it too much. Maybe we can stop for another when Sam comes to get us on Wednesday." He smiled "I'm gonna hold you to that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :) stay safe and stay healthy.


	43. family matters

By Tuesday night Bucky was practically vibrating with excitement. Sam arrived that night and they were all going to drive down to Delaware together for Thanksgiving with his family. They would be meeting his younger sister Rita and her husband August this time around as well as their daughter Harmony and son Jackson. Sam had already warned Steve that the kids were excited to meet him and wanted to see the shield which he happily packed up to go. Thankfully they were older kids so they understood that Steve was still recovering from the mushroom incident and might not be 100%. There would also be some aunts and uncles from his dad's side and some people from his mom's church. Now that she had the room she was happy to play host to everyone that she could but the only people staying at the house were him, Steve, and Bucky.

Bucky slept a little here and there that night but he was honestly happy to be seeing Bea and even happy to see Gina again. Loki was called back to New Asgard on business so they were unable to attend, something about a festival coming up, he was sure he would hear about it more later. Bruce was going with Tony and his family to the cabin and Wanda and Nat were already at Clint’s place. He wasn’t sure what Peter was doing but he was sure that Happy and May were together wherever they ended up. The thought of family sobered his excitement a little. Despite his best efforts he was having a lot of memories he couldn’t push back the last few days after his breakdown with Wanda. He still felt kind of embarrassed about that even if she assured him it was ok. He heard Steve’s alarm go off and made his way up to the bathroom to shower and get changed. He was waiting at the kitchen counter when he and Sam finally made their way out. He had breakfast ready for them so that they could get going. 

“Well I see someone’s excited. Normally we gotta drag you outta bed.” He grinned at Sam. “Well what can I say, a chance to see my mama bear really gets me going if ya know what I mean.” Sam rolled his eyes. “You better ease up on that around my family.” Bucky feigned a hurt expression “Sam,” he gasped “I am an angel and a gentleman around your dear sweet mother.” Steve began to laugh so hard he choked on his breakfast. “What? You trying to say something Rogers? I didn’t get and comments on my character when I brought you that stupid carmel apple thing to drink. I endured Wanda’s driving for that.” 

Steve shook his head smiling “You chose that don;t even try and guilt trip me.” Sam began to snicker “Oh trust me you were not there when we had to get Steve an ACTUAL drivers license. Everyone assumed he had one and when S.H.I.E.L.D. crumbled Stark was alerted that he had an unlicensed driver using his cars occasionally.” Bucky laughed “I don’t doubt it. If he handles cars the way he handled tanks in the war it was probably a real treat to teach him.” Steve frowned “It was one time I backed into another car. I was still learning.” Sam nodded “Uh huh. Uh huh. How many motorcycles have you “tossed” while in a battle?” Bucky shook his head “He still does that?” 

Sam looked at him “Still? You mean he was throwing vehicles in the war too?” Bucky chuckled. “Best day was when he rolled a tank down a hill and squashed a Nazi officers car.”  
“Poor bastard was still inside,” Steve said wistfully. Sam snorted “You two are both crazy. I always wondered if Barnes was the bad influence but now I’m not so sure.” They both laughed “Oh not Steve is absolutely the bad influence”  
“Yea Bucky is the stupid one hence why he takes all the stupid with him when he goes somewhere.” He crossed his arms “I wouldn’t go that far. Nat has told me you have had some pretty stupid moments. Seems like in my absence you adopted the stupid and raised it as your own. You are the step father to stupid.” Sam grabbed his bag “Well Captain and Sergeant stupid lets get moving we have a lot of driving to do.” 

Bucky made himself comfortable in the back seat so that Steve and Sam could talk upfront. He was talking about his niece and nephew and how excited they were to see him. As they spoke Steve was stedy drawing in his sketchbook. He took a peak over his shoulder to see a very sexy picture of Hela. 

"Got someone on your mind punk?" He startled a bit and closed the book a little. "I...um… it's just. She has a very commanding presence. she's very….authoritative." He grinned as Steve stammered. He always knew that intimacy was the one place Steve would sooner have anyone else take charge. "I see. You never did like to be the Captain in the sheets." Steve blushed. "Buck…."  
"Oh come on. You can talk about that stuff with us. We've all had experience. Hell even Sam's been laid at least once."

He could see Sam give him a quick glare before turning back to driving. "If Steve doesn't kiss and tell that's his choice. You could stand to follow his lead since I've heard my fair share from you about sleeping your way across Brooklyn and parts of Europe." He leaned back in his seat and smirked "man's gotta have a hobby and sometimes it's gotta be more than cleaning his gun." Steve shook his head. "You gotta make everything an innuendo?"   
"Who said I didn't mean a gun. It was a war Steve, even you carried a handgun." 

They talked and horsed around stopping for lunch at a diner and switching drivers. Bucky paused as he sat in the driver's seat. "I promise not to tear this wheel off." Sam rolled his eyes while Steve laughed so hard he snorted. "Glad Steve thinks that time you nearly killed us and totaled my car was funny." He grinned "As long as Stevie's happy I'm happy."

They finally arrived at the familiar driveway. After Hydra's trespass Tony insisted on a gated property so that they knew who was coming and going. They pulled up to the house and Steve whistled. "Really nice place." Sam shook his head in agreement. "Stark said she could have anything and she took him up on it." They were barely out of the car when two kids were peeking past the front door at them.

Sam got out and looked up. "I know you aren't just gonna stand there and not say hi." The two kids rushed him. "Uncle Sam! Did you bring him? Is he really here?" They looked past him to see Steve exit the car. "Yes I did. Harmony, Jackson, this is my friend Steve who is as you know, Captain America." He smiled at the kids. "Hey. Sam's told me all about you guys. Glad to meet you both." 

They crowded Steve asking questions faster than he could answer. Suddenly a loud voice called from the porch. "Let the man breathe and get out of the cold." Bucky had grabbed their bags and looked up to see a man Standing on the porch talking to Sam. "This is my brother in law August. August, this is James Barnes and Steve Rogers." He smiled as he held out his hand. Glad to meet you both. Ma has been going on about you three showing up. Let's get inside and get warmed up."

They got inside and Bea was immediately wrapped around Bucky. "I got a new bed daddy bear. You wanna see what it can do?" There was a groan from the other room "Ma are you kidding me right now?" Followed by "I told you she was this bad." He pulled her close and whispered in her ear "I haven't broken a bed before but I wouldn't say no to a challenge." August rolled his eyes. "Rita has no room to talk, she's just as bad as her mama."

Regina took them upstairs to the new rooms. "Sam, here's yours. Rita and her family ended up staying here so I hope you and Steve don't mind doubling up." She turned to Bucky "you of course are in Ma's room. I will not hesitate to hose you two so keep it together." He waggled his eyebrows "Oh we will be keeping things together alright." She responded with a playful smack. "Seriously though, behave." 

They returned downstairs to see another woman who he assumed was Rita, setting the table. Steve quickly jumped in. "Allow me. You must be Rita." She handed him a stack of plates and smiled. "Yes, you must be Captain Rogers. You look a little different than all the pictures." He blushed a little. "Well the uniform makes me look a bit different." He felt Bea grab his backside "it does him more favors than these jeans."

He gave her a hug. "Nat picked these out herself. I would hate to tell her you don't approve." They both laughed. "You could try the skinny jeans like James wears." Before she could stop herself Gina laughed "James hasn't worn anything skinny since you got your hands on him in June." Bucky pretended to be hurt but there was nothing but happiness. "If she stayed around the tower any longer I might be filling in for Santa at Macy's."

They all sat down to dinner. Steve sat with the kids giving them his undivided attention. He even allowed them to take a few selfies to show their friends provided they promise not to post the images online. Bucky got to know Rita and August a bit more. Once she warmed up to them he could see her relation to her mother especially when she playfully fed her husband, much to the kids disgust." 

"One day it won't be so gross." Harmony looked over at them and wrinkled her nose "If I have food on my plate the only person I'm feeding it to is me." They all laughed at the declaration. The evening quieted and the kids were soon put to bed the adults following suit in preparation for the big day tomorrow. Bucky climbed into bed with Bea. He kissed along her neck and down her stomach. His hands moving along her body. 

Without much effort they both fell into rhythm. He couldn't lie, he had been wanting this for a while. Just as Bea arched her back he bucked his hips and then he felt it. Every muscle in his back tightened and twinged in blinding pain. Bea immediately stopped. "What happened?"

He managed to maneuver onto his back, the mood completely killed. "My back….I...think….. I threw out my back." Bea chuckled and shook her head. "The universe can't give us a break. At least let a woman finish." He chuckled but was reminded quickly of the pain in his back. "Can you move at all?" He shook his head a little. "Not comfortable no." 

She got up from the beg grabbing her robe and gently sliding his sweatpants back on him. Rita is a chiropractor. I'm gonna go get her and Sammy." He grabbed her arm “No wait, give me a bit. I might not be as good as Steve but serum should help. I remember tweaking my back before it will go away.” She looked at him skeptically as she sat on the bed but agreed. They did their best to get comfortable again and within a few moments he was sound asleep. 

When he arrived at breakfast the next morning his back was still stiff but better than it had been. Rita took one look at him and smirked. He had no doubt she knew. “Ma says your back is bothering you.” At this the adults at the table busted out laughing except Steve who had turned several shades of red. He began to wonder if Steve heard them last night. “Mama bear why did you do that to me?” She threw up her hands “I didn’t give you away, Steve did.” 

He turned to look at Steve “Seriously?” He looked down at his plate. “I just wondered if you were alright,” he muttered. Sam continued to laugh. “I think its pretty hilarious that the old man with the body of a 20 something got himself hurt and the lady in her 70’s is perfectly fine.” Regina cringed “Can we please stop talking about it?” Steve looked over at her “Thank you someone has some manners at the breakfast table.” Bucky and Sam both squawked at this. “Oh you save the dirty talk for when you’re at the tower?” He tried to defend himself but the kids came bounding in the room silencing the conversation. 

They spent the day fixing the meal and welcoming more people into the house. Steve was inevitably placed on old people entertaining duty while Bucky helped in the kitchen to avoid being smothered by people. Sam pulled his attention away after a while to carefully guide him to the doorway. “Steve was telling a story and had Jackson on his lap, Harmony was sitting on the floor watching in awe and Regina was sitting on the arm of the chair with Steve’s hand holding her waist. He chuckled and looked at Sam “I guess Regina is a bit of a fan.” Sam laughed “When she saw me on the news with Steve she called and asked me so many questions. She will down play it but she had a Captain america Poster on her bedroom wall up until college.” 

“You gonna be ok with Steve cozyin’ up to your Big sister?” He shrugged “can’t be any worse than you and mom.” Bucky laughed “You tell yourself that Sam but remember at the end of the day Steve has been around me and Natasha for most his life.” He shook his head “Yea yea I know but Steve has shame something I think died before you even got drafted.” Bea came up behind them “That would imply he was born with it to begin with.” 

As the evening wore on Steve was still the center of attention and Gina was right next to him hanging onto every word. Steve was pretty oblivious to it. If she didn't have any restraint she would have been in his lap the way she was getting as close as possible. Bucky pulled Sam aside “Who’s gonna tell him?” Sam shook his head “He’s your best friend.” He looked back over at them “And she’s your sister.” Apparently as they tried to work this out Rita was already handling it. “Regina, either ask to sit in his lap or switch seats, I swear you are never this damn thirsty.” One of the aunts cackled “Hard not to be when Captain America is sitting at the table.” Steve was now red as tomato as he looked at Regina completely bewildered. Regina looked equally embarrassed as she inched her chair a little ways apart from his but still listened to him attempt to finish his story. At that moment Bucky was reminded of the scrawny little guy who was knocked down by a stiff breeze.

The next morning everyone was packing up to go. August was loading the car with Steve’s help as the kids raced excitedly around him playing with the shield and a toy nerf gun. As they said their goodbyes Bea smiled “Don;t be a stranger any of you. I have all this space. Who knows if Steve shares Gina’s room we could convince Bruce to come next time.”   
“Mom”  
“Bea”  
They both hissed at her. “Well it’s not my fault. You brought it on yourself.” Steve held his hand out to Gina “It was a pleasure meeting you. I um...hope we can visit soon or maybe you can come visit us? I’m sure there are some things Sam wants to show you in New York.” She nodded “Oh um..yea that..I’ve never been before so it would be nice.” 

Sam shook his head “Ain’t that just cute. Our little super soldier’s growin up.” He laid his hand on Bucky’s shoulder and dramatically sniffed. Steve rolled his eyes “Says the guy who hasn’t had a date since I met him.” He crossed his arms “Well it was hard to date when I was savin’ your ass from Hydra and your own stupidity and actually I’ve been seeing the lady who works the desk at the center. So the only one who hasn't really had a date is you unless you wanna count that weird Halloween booty call thing.” 

“Sam..not here.” Bea rolled her eyes “No one here is a virgin sweetie not even Gina so there's no need for modesty.” Gina looked mortified. “Have a safe ride home...Sam has my number if that's a thing you want.” She then rushed back into the house leaving Bucky and Sam howling with laughter. Bea pulled Steve in for a hug. “You take care, sugar bear. You have to come back for a dinner where you can eat more than mashed potatoes and cranberries. I’m gonna hold ya to it.” She gave them all one last hug. “Be safe getting home. I’ll see you in D.C for xmas Sam.” 

They piled into the car and once the doors closed the teasing started “So you can sweet talk a death goddess but you can;t handle my sister? She aint that scary I promise you man.” He had a feeling it was gonna be a long ride home. Thankfully Bucky had already put Gina’s number into his phone. He quietly texted her as Sam and Bucky went back and forth “It really was nice to meet you. I can’t promise anything serious but maybe you could come by after Xmas.” He was surprised with the reply “I would be thrilled if I could at least call you my friend. You take care of those two and I’ll see you before new years. I hear there are some great coffee shops in the city.” Bucky carefully watched him text back and forth and smiled. Steve might not be the settling down type anymore but he didn’t have to be so cut off from people and from what he could gather Gina was very much the same way. Some non avengers friends would do Steve a world of good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading Kudos and comments appreciated   
> stay safe and stay healthy


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